How to eliminate geeks from my dating pool

Nanopants · Sep 6, 2012

.... ugh..

Why can't we just grow up out of our high-school frame of mind and forget about who's popular, who isn't, who's in, who's out, who's a winner, who's a loser, and who likes cheese sandwiches???

It's just so completely and utterly boring, nonsensical, and beneath all of us, so why don't we just forget about geeks, non-geeks, and go talk about something that's worthwhile and/or silly and entertaining?

RebornBen · Sep 6, 2012

Daughter of Ararat said:
This isn't a thread about not liking geeks. It's a thread about how to get my dating range out of the one I am most experienced with that really doesn't seem to be my type especially these days. (Sorry, if I was better at meeting/chatting with/get hit on by other kinds of guys, maybe I would not have a reason for this thread.)

Saying you do not like Mexicans is one thing, but saying that you found it too hard to (in the absence of an amazing Mexican person you have never met) adapt to Mexican culture to seriously consider marring into a deeply Mexican family, 1. it seems like another thing to me, and 2. I would not be encouraging you to pursue a possibility of marriage (and some 22,000 days sharing your lives as one) with someone who is very attached to his/her Mexican culture, deeply immersed in the community, and close to his large Mexican family or you are not being loving. In fact, such a person might be more comfortable being themselves and being honest about themselves in a quieter, more reserved culture. Maybe that person would get along well with an East Asian or a Scandinavian person (they sometimes hang out at Lutheran churches).

I want to date to meet a kind of guy and guy himself who could be my husband one day. I am not a perfect person, but I want someone I can be perfect for, as I am, flaws and all, just as a guy might not be perfect but could still be perfect for me. If I am not right for someone as I am, is it really right to ask me to consider giving up what I need in my life, my career goals, personal goals, pro-active steps taken to improve my well-being and take better care of my life, and sense of esthetics, and take an interest in something I really don't want in my life because someone else likes it?

You don't know me, yet several of you have judged me.

To those of you who understand that sharing the love of God is about more than considering everyone you share with as a potential spouse, thank you.

No one said you're not entitled to like what you do, only that focusing on the things you are after would be better than focusing on what you don't want.

I wouldn't like to marry someone who's a geek, dumb, overweight, atheist etc. but I don't make a thread on how to avoid all of those people because that would be pretty offensive towards anyone who might feel they belong in one or more of those groups.
"Fat people really waste my time, where should I go to avoid them?" I bet a few would be offended by that as well. If that doesn't make sense to you then I am out of ways to make my point.

I hope you find what you're looking for but a bit of tact is something to consider if you really want help. Good luck.

CounselorForChrist · Sep 6, 2012

Actually I've never figured out why anyone would want to avoid anything at all besides of course someone whos not a chirsitian. You could be a 450 pound albino, with no hair, a lisp and be 9 feet tall. I could care less because its your heart the matter.

Not many will have a happy marriage until they get rid of wants and dont wants. Because you never know who God will give you.

Rhye · Sep 6, 2012

xfreakazoidx said:
Because you never know who God will give you.

YES!

One thing I have learned in life is, never say never.

Boy the things that you are hit with in life....

Jupiter Drops · Sep 7, 2012

Tbh, everyone's a geek of something.

Meh.

CounselorForChrist · Sep 7, 2012

YES!

One thing I have learned in life is, never say never.

Boy the things that you are hit with in life....

Agreed lol. I said I would never be with a pastors daughter because I am a sin and those type of people are beyond what someone like me could be with. And now I am with one.

Of course it would be nice if it worked in reverse somethings on good things. Like if I said "I would never want a million dollars!", but then I got some. ^.^ Oddly enough I am always thinking of having lots of money. Not for myself though. But because I want to give 95% of it away and help people.

Apollo Celestio · Sep 7, 2012

Wear those ridiculously big sunglasses and never think. Problem solved.

Anime conventions are freaking awesome. I like how it's considered a disease if you attend one.

anewday · Sep 7, 2012

Nanopants said:
.... ugh..

Why can't we just grow up out of our high-school frame of mind and forget about who's popular, who isn't, who's in, who's out, who's a winner, who's a loser, and who likes cheese sandwiches???

It's just so completely and utterly boring, nonsensical, and beneath all of us, so why don't we just forget about geeks, non-geeks, and go talk about something that's worthwhile and/or silly and entertaining?

I like grilled cheese sandwiches.

Nanopants · Sep 7, 2012

anewday said:
I like grilled cheese sandwiches.

You have wisdom beyond your years

RebornBen · Sep 7, 2012

xfreakazoidx said:
Actually I've never figured out why anyone would want to avoid anything at all besides of course someone whos not a chirsitian. You could be a 450 pound albino, with no hair, a lisp and be 9 feet tall. I could care less because its your heart the matter.

Not many will have a happy marriage until they get rid of wants and dont wants. Because you never know who God will give you.

I'm glad if you really think that way but I agree with OP on that you're entitled to have some requirements or you'd just end up with anyone. That probably wouldn't make you happy either.

As for the heart only mattering, well yeah that sounds beautiful and all but I really doubt you mean it. Everything in a person does matter to you in some way. Good looks or other traits might not be that important but if someone with a lovely personality has the looks to match it, then it's certainly a plus.

CounselorForChrist · Sep 7, 2012

As for the heart only mattering, well yeah that sounds beautiful and all but I really doubt you mean it. Everything in a person does matter to you in some way. Good looks or other traits might not be that important but if someone with a lovely personality has the looks to match it, then it's certainly a plus.

Well I don't include personality because by default as a christian we should be looking for "good" in people to begin with. The people we are with as christians should be kind hearted, love Christ, not be full of hate/anger, have good personalities, God centered, help others, able to forgive/apologize. For lack of better words we should be looking for someone as close to Jesus as possible.

While there is no perfect person like him, there are plenty that are close to him. So as stated thats why I don't include some of the obvious things because I am not sure why a christian woudl seek someone who isn't any of those things since they would obviously be stumbiling blocks as a christian. But thats my view on it. I have always prefered to avoid trouble.

As for the heart only mattering, well yeah that sounds beautiful and all but I really doubt you mean it.

Well the heart is key to thise things I just listed above this. So the heart truly mattesr because Christ knows what in our heart. You should be able to see someones heart and know they are truly good people. Most men (no offense to you of course) do not tend to think the heart matters because the don't think like women who tend to look at the heart. I am the exception not the rule because I look at the heart first which shows me everything I need to know. So yes I really mean it.

Mind you before I was more nieve when I looked at a woman and evne though I could see the evil in their heart, I tried to ignore it because like many I just hoped they would change. But as the years went by and I got older I realized if you see/feel something is wrong in them then you should avoid them if they don't want admit they need to change.

Such as my ex-gf who believed in American-Indian spiritual stuff more then God. She also has anger issues and was labeld mentally ill.

BayCityBomber · Sep 7, 2012

Daughter of Ararat said:
This isn't a thread about not liking geeks. It's a thread about how to get my dating range out of the one I am most experienced with that really doesn't seem to be my type especially these days. (Sorry, if I was better at meeting/chatting with/get hit on by other kinds of guys, maybe I would not have a reason for this thread.)

Saying you do not like Mexicans is one thing, but saying that you found it too hard to (in the absence of an amazing Mexican person you have never met) adapt to Mexican culture to seriously consider marring into a deeply Mexican family, 1. it seems like another thing to me, and 2. I would not be encouraging you to pursue a possibility of marriage (and some 22,000 days sharing your lives as one) with someone who is very attached to his/her Mexican culture, deeply immersed in the community, and close to his large Mexican family or you are not being loving. In fact, such a person might be more comfortable being themselves and being honest about themselves in a quieter, more reserved culture. Maybe that person would get along well with an East Asian or a Scandinavian person (they sometimes hang out at Lutheran churches).

I want to date to meet a kind of guy and guy himself who could be my husband one day. I am not a perfect person, but I want someone I can be perfect for, as I am, flaws and all, just as a guy might not be perfect but could still be perfect for me. If I am not right for someone as I am, is it really right to ask me to consider giving up what I need in my life, my career goals, personal goals, pro-active steps taken to improve my well-being and take better care of my life, and sense of esthetics, and take an interest in something I really don't want in my life because someone else likes it?

You don't know me, yet several of you have judged me.

To those of you who understand that sharing the love of God is about more than considering everyone you share with as a potential spouse, thank you.

The problem isn't that you're being judged. The problem is that you don't seem to understand no one is saying you can't use cultural bias, racism, or any other selection criteria you want. It was, and remains, unnecessary to create a thread (on an internet forum no less) asking how to avoid geeks. Just as it would be to create one seeking advice on how to avoid whites, blacks, Asians, or people that wear tennis shoes on Tuesdays.

That said, geeks hardly make up a majority of people. If you continually find yourself having geeks as your only dating pool then it seems like your interests are also geek interests. Likely, you are a geek. Which would explain why you have geeks as your dating pool, and non-geek men don't express interest in you.

trentlogain2 · Sep 7, 2012

who is the female singer in casting crowns? she adds a wonderful vocal element to the band's sound.

don't believe me? listen for yourself.
Jesus, Friend of Sinners - Casting Crowns - YouTube

RebornBen · Sep 7, 2012

xfreakazoidx said:
Well I don't include personality because by default as a christian we should be looking for "good" in people to begin with. The people we are with as christians should be kind hearted, love Christ, not be full of hate/anger, have good personalities, God centered, help others, able to forgive/apologize. For lack of better words we should be looking for someone as close to Jesus as possible.

While there is no perfect person like him, there are plenty that are close to him. So as stated thats why I don't include some of the obvious things because I am not sure why a christian woudl seek someone who isn't any of those things since they would obviously be stumbiling blocks as a christian. But thats my view on it. I have always prefered to avoid trouble.

Well the heart is key to thise things I just listed above this. So the heart truly mattesr because Christ knows what in our heart. You should be able to see someones heart and know they are truly good people. Most men (no offense to you of course) do not tend to think the heart matters because the don't think like women who tend to look at the heart. I am the exception not the rule because I look at the heart first which shows me everything I need to know. So yes I really mean it.

Mind you before I was more nieve when I looked at a woman and evne though I could see the evil in their heart, I tried to ignore it because like many I just hoped they would change. But as the years went by and I got older I realized if you see/feel something is wrong in them then you should avoid them if they don't want admit they need to change.

Such as my ex-gf who believed in American-Indian spiritual stuff more then God. She also has anger issues and was labeld mentally ill.

I think you misunderstood me a bit. I agree that a persons personality is the most important but having other good traits is certainly a plus.

Also if you think you can always notice when a person is "good" or "evil" or see what their heart is all about then that's a bit naive. Some people are really good at hiding their true intentions even for a long time. People also look out for their own ass first and foremost even if they care about someone else so there's really no such thing as good people anyway.

And even if everyone is trying to be honest you will never know someone completely no matter how long you've known them. There's always something that people want to keep for themselves.

How to eliminate geeks from my dating pool

Nanopants

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RebornBen

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Legend

be like a flower and turn your face to the sun

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Deal with it.

This girl is on fire.

Nanopants

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RebornBen

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trentlogain2

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RebornBen

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