How to describe things in a story?

[Winter_Rose]

I've just started a new story, but I'm stuck. How do I describe someone appearing out of nowhere and making the character jump out of her skin, but not like sneeking up on her?

Many thanks.

 

[SepiaAndDust]

How do the authors of your favorite books do it?

 

[faroukfarouk]

Try a reference to mist or fog, maybe, with a figure looming up suddenly.

 

[Winter_Rose]

Try a reference to mist or fog, maybe, with a figure looming up suddenly.

Ok, thanks.

 

[Winter_Rose]

I forgot to add that I'm writing it as if the main character is telling the story.

 

[faroukfarouk]

I forgot to add that I'm writing it as if the main character is telling the story.

So you yourself are at the heart of the action and plot of the story, rather than being the detached narrator. This is fine; it's just that there are different sorts of writing.

 

[SepiaAndDust]

So you yourself are at the heart of the action and plot of the story, rather than being the detached narrator. This is fine; it's just that there are different sorts of writing.

It's just written in first person. The narrator is not the same as the author--the POV in this case is the main character.

 

[faroukfarouk]

It's just written in first person. The narrator is not the same as the author--the POV in this case is the main character.

Yes, I see the distinction.

 

[TheGuide]

I've just started a new story, but I'm stuck. How do I describe someone appearing out of nowhere and making the character jump out of her skin, but not like sneeking up on her?

Many thanks.

Believing she's alone, I see her engrossed, like looking inside a kitchen cabinet for something she knows should be there. He walks up, not purposely sneaky, and he taps her on the shoulder.

 

[Wolf_Says]

First person or 3rd person?

 

[Winter_Rose]

First person or 3rd person?

Either way. Which one sounds better?

 

[engine777]

Either way. Which one sounds better?

I like 3rd person always.

 

[Radrook]

I've just started a new story, but I'm stuck. How do I describe someone appearing out of nowhere and making the character jump out of her skin, but not like sneeking up on her?

Many thanks.

That depends on the scene. We can't visualize what you are seeing unless you provide a description. Where is this happening? Where is she located? What is his motive? What are their ages? What is their relationship? All these factors determine exactly how he chooses to surprise her or how his sudden appearance affects her