How to deal with step kids that don't listen

[1stcor29]

I just discovered this site and am real thankful for it. I need to get myself plugged more into the Christian network and time is somewhat restricted from more than Sunday fellowship. Anyhow, I'm glad I'm here.

I am married (for 3 years now) and I have 3 step kids. One in particular really frustrates me because he doesn't seem to listen. The issue is, I used to do discipline, but it bothered my wife and we made an agreement that she does all the discipline. But the issue is, she doesn't discipline. This particular step son doesn't listen when she tells him to be home at a certain time and it's making me have strong negative feelings towards him. I'm to the point that I don't even want to do anything for him - ever. I know that sounds bad and I don't want these negative feelings, but how do you deal with a teenager that just doesn't listen. My wife won't even mention it to him when I tell her that he was late. I surely could use some advice. Thank you and God bless you all!

~Mr. Frustrated Step Dad

 

[Grace51]

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[eatenbylocusts]

I had a very long response written out which I don't have the patience to repeat.
The child needs to be disciplined. Please check out Growing Kids God's Way. Children need to be taught to honor God, honor parents (that is being obedient to God), be consistently disciplined so they understand the world does not revolve around them and to respect authority.

The scripture tells us about our responsibility to do these things. The above program will outline how you can do these things. No need to argue; tell the kids your expectations, that discipline will occur if they disobey and be consistent.

God bless you in your role as leader. Your wife is probably trying to keep the peace so she needs to understand she is being disobedient to God and setting up her child for failure if she doesn't set and enforce rules and is going to cause more trouble in the future by ignoring disobedience.

Pray for this child and for your wisdom and patience. Pray for the child to be saved and to serve God and let your wife know you are doing this or better yet, pray it with her. If she sees your concern for the child it will not feel like criticism of her and the child.

My husband thinks he is giving grace to his child by not enforcing the rules and punishing when he doesn't do his schoolwork. He feels sorry for him at times because he has a dysfunctional mother. He just doesn't get it yet that there shouldn't have been any waiting period for obedience (married over 2 years) and that there is a way to deal with disobedience without fighting. When I am alone with this kid, he responds a lot faster for my requests to see homework, turn off TV because he knows I won't stop until he acts. He ignores my husband's requests most of the time because my dh doesn't follow though most of the time. God help us. Now my step son got suspended from school for 2 days for smoking pot/being with a group with a large qty of pot packaged for sale.