How to deal with a lying "friend"

[Joy Allen]

I have gotten close to a girl I met 4 years ago. She lies a lot. I'd hate to hurt her and just ghost her because that is not who I am. I mean, this girl has lied to me so much. Nothing adds up. She drives me nuts constantly talking about money. Her money and how they are struggling and cutting back, but she is constantly spending. Then she comes to me boohooing how she doesn't have any money. She thinks that she is saving money by buying used stuff, but she is still losing money because she is spending on things she doesn't need. Her house is full of stuff, mostly clothes and she can't let go of any of. She has to get her money back on all of it before it can leave. I helped her price some of the over 400 items she had to put in for a consignment. I thought this would help her with her mental health, but turns out she is wanting to do this continuously as a side income, but she blows the money. Her house is around 900 sq ft and her garage and RV is just full of stuff that won't sell.

She is ADHD, but I think there is something else wrong with this girl. She needs some meds, but she is not interested in it. I have heard her call her oldest daughter curse words and then I heard her slap her infant over the phone and that just really sat me back from her. I was going on walks with her back in the spring until she wrecked her car and told me how much she hated my car, but she wanted one like mine not too long ago. She also told me she hated the stroller I was going to buy but has gone on and on how she wants one. Then when I got one, she told me she wanted one. Maybe jealous? You can't be friends with someone who is jealous of you. This was when I really started backing off from her. I hadn't seen her in months until this past week. She invited herself over with coffee one day and I said sure, but she came over here and was incredibly vulgar in front of my kids and then made another body image comment about my one year old daughter. I thought I could give her another chance, but I guess I can't. Her husband also sends or tags me on weird videos on social media. It's kind of vulgar or sexual funnies that I don't understand the point of. It's just kind of weird and uncomfortable. These are just a few issues I have had.

A few years ago after one of her husband's friends assaulted me.... at a church life group. Well, she invited me to her baby's first bday party yesterday. I went because I wanted to give him a nice gift like she did for my babies. I asked if any of the life group people would be there and she said she didn't talk to them. Well... the guy who assaulted me was there. It's ok for him to be there but... I don't know why you would invite someone you talk so bad about behind his back (and his wife) and then lie to me and say he wasn't going to be there after she knew what he did to me and tells me I am her best friend. That is what has put the cherry on top wanting to drive a wedge between us.

I need Christian advice. I don't want to hurt her. I am busy working on my own side gigs that she won't even do for herself. It's a full-time job being a stay at home mom to twin toddlers, cleaning a house, and running a couple of hobby businesses for fun and a little cash. I am thinking about telling her that I am working a job like I have a 40 hour a week job. Any advice is welcome here.

 

[Zceptre]

Sneaky evil spirits use individual's with no moral compass because of a lack of knowing God the Son, who is love.

You shall know them by their fruit. (Matthew 7:16)

Friends act like friends, and I think you are seeing through the facade, but you don't want to abandon "a friend" or accept the reality that is presenting itself about how they are treating you.

You obviously have Christ in your heart, but the enemy uses people who are not connected to God to abuse us. You can show her the love of Christ if you encounter her, but I wouldn't put it on my calendar or even make a habit of spending time with her.

The Lord Jesus is a friend of sinners, but we should notice He didn't sin with them, and He told the Pharisees to their face when they treated Him without honor that they were doing so. (John 8:49)

This doesn't mean you need to "confront" her or anything, but we should not overlook obvious signs that people are not our friends. If they continue to stab you in the back, it would be good to get out of the door before one of the blows actually pierces the heart or destroys anything else in our life.

Continuing to be friends with a ticking time "blank" is waiting for it to go boom in our face. It can be hard to disengage from old "friends" or acquaintances but it absolutely seems necessary in this situation in my opinion.

If it were me, I would put some distance between them and me. Especially if they are causing people to be around you that have assaulted you. That is absolutely not ok, and I want to make it clear that it is isn't. They are not respecting you, nor concerned for your well being, and are certainly not being loving and I would start to move away from the situation without making it obvious. I certainly don't want anyone increasing the probability of you being assaulted AGAIN by someone who already showed their desire to do so.

They need prayer, that is for sure, this person and her husband.

It seems a little complicated, and you have invested in the "friendship" but there isn't much real friendship being shown to you, and I hope you will not accept such disrespect and unloving behavior. You seem very humble, and humility is good, but please don't let anyone walk on you and/or lie to you!

I will pray for you, and this situation.