how to balance lies & creativity?

[TheDag]

Hi all,
My child has a habit of telling lies which is starting to get a bit out of hand. I really do not want to stifle his creative side as I do see that as important. However I don't think he understands the difference between creative story telling (acceptable) and telling lies (unacceptable). Any suggestions for how to teach this?

I know it can be hard work but I do get very tired from my job so sometimes lack of energy is an issue for me. I am a single parent with 24/7 care of my child. He has ADHD and is on medication which has made a huge difference to his school work but is still very active. (Please don't be telling me ADHD is not real). He is behind his age in everything except reading due to speech problems for which he has had several years of speech therapy. So answers that take into consideration these things would be helpful. Of course what works for you is good as well.

 

[Cimorene]

How old is he?

 

[TheDag]

How old is he?

7-10 years old. Sorry but there are certain specifics I just don't put online

 

[Murby]

I've taken an approach with my child to teach them by example. I never lie to my child, not even small lies.. I never hide anything from my child either.
Now that's not to say that every time my child asks me a question that I answer it. If my child asks about something which I know my child can't possibly comprehend, I just change the subject.. but I never lie.

I can't tell you what you should do in your case, but I can tell you what I would do. I would start showing examples of how dishonest people are not trusted and how honest people get perks and special privileges when they are trusted. It would probably be more work to come up with good examples than to actually apply the lessons.

 

[keith99]

He is old enough to know the difference. But perhaps he fails to appreciate the difference.

One thought is you get creative and work with him to write a story about a boy who lies? The story is then an example of a story and the likes within it are lies. Note that the biggest difference is a story is presented as a story, it is not claimed to be true.

 

[blackribbon]

He is old enough to know the difference between the truth and a "story". You need to be very proactive on correcting this deficit if he really thinks it is still a fuzzy line at this age. I tend to teach more by "living parables" meaning, I'd tell him to get in the car so we could go someplace to "get to something to eat"...and asking him "how does McDonald's sound?" and then ending up at someplace like the grocery store ... and make a point to ask him how it feels when people don't tell the real story. I didn't lie...we were at a place to get something to eat...and although I asked him how McDonald's sounded, I never once said we were going there.

If he really has trouble distinguishing between his made up stories and the truth at this age, you need to look at more mental health issues than just ADHD.

 

[TheDag]

Thanks for the advice. I also asked several teacher friends especially those with a big focus on creative arts subjects. Got some good tips from there as well.

Part of the problem is that I have not done much in the past for various reasons which includes me dealing with personal issues. I am not as good at multitasking as I used to be so I tend to focus on one or two things. His speech therapy is about to end. Was going to go until a bit later this year however since the staff member is changing practice I decided to finish when she leaves so he doesn't have five weeks of someone else and then leaves again. He does have separation anxiety issues.

I will keep looking at further comments but will try a few of the strategies suggested.