....in a Christian-like way of course....while you are just dating and not yet exclusive. You know you'll have to kiss many frogs to find your prince....so please don't get hung up on one guy too soon (I tend to make this mistake myself).
Goal 1: Know yourself
Goal 2: Appreciate the good things about yourself; focus on them.
Goal 3: Embrace your femininity. Think positive about being a woman. What do you enjoy about being a woman? Remember these things and let your appreciation show outwardly.
Goal 4: Be confident. If you don't think it, at least try to act it...and hopefully it will come naturally.
Goal 5: If you are interested in a guy, let him know in subtle ways that don't come across as aggressive. Although some men say otherwise, most men secretly prefer it if they are the one who did the 'chasing' (asking out). Give him the green light to ask you out.
Goal 6: Keep informed. Know what is happening in your local area and around the world. Read newspapers or watch the News on TV or listen to it on radio. Cultivate a running database of policitians and what they stand for. Ditto sports "headlines". Don't bother getting too carried away following sports news, just the basics would do.
Goal 7: Be a bit unpredictable.
Goal 8: Show your skills in a delicate, feminine manner. If you are good at something don't try to compete with him or make him feel inferior.
Goal 9: Dress like a woman
Goal 10: Wear fruity fragrances (not strong perfume....).
Goal 11: Show your appreciation for a man's masculine side
Goal 12: Occasionally show your vulnerability and ask for help with manly things (like opening a jar! lol
). Men like feeling like heros or protectors.
Goal 13: Accept compliments with grace. If you have hangups about yourself, keep them to yourself. It is a big turn off for a man to hear a woman say something like "I'm fat!" If he says "Wow, you have really lovely skin" don't say "No I don't! I've got a spot here, look!" or something like that. Be gracious and just say "Thank you" and look flattered, not dismayed or suspicious about his motives. In my book it is rude to argue with someone about a compliment they gave you.
Goal 14: Make them feel like they are the only ones in the entire world when you talk to them. That means focusing on them 100%. If you are on the phone, try to avoid distractions like the internet or television on the background. It is very easy for someone to pick up when your mind is not really there. Give them your full attention. If you are with them in person, try to stare into their eyes and nod your head occasionally to show that you are paying attention.
Goal 15: Shut up a bit. Yeah, I know, we just love to talk don't we? Well, it's a good idea to come up for air now and again, not only to keep yourself alive, but to allow him to get a word in. Do not be afraid of 'awkward silences'...let them come and if you give it enough time, he will start talking. Unlike most women, men actually think before they talk! lol So the silence is usually a good time for them to think about what you have just said, and then formulate their reply. By letting him talk, you build trust and intimacy and you get to learn about him, his life, his goals and dreams, and basically how he interacts with other people in his life (a great way to get an idea is to get him to tell you a true story of something that happened to him).
Goal 16 (My biggest asset): Give him permission to relax and be himself around you. If you have a certain air about you he might find it hard to relax, and then you will find it harder to get to know him. You don't have to act like 'one of the lads', but it does mean you have to grow a thicker skin. And for heavens sake, if he confesses something really rotten to you, either deliberately or by mistake, try not to show your disgust or dismay or tell him off before he finishes his story. If you do, he will keep more secrets from you. The goal is to get to know him inside and out, and you can't do that if he is afraid to open up to you for fear of your reactions. Let him be.
Goal 17: Give him room to mess up and don't judge him harshly. Especially at the beginning when he might be nervous and say the wrong things or do the wrong things...or even show up late or to the wrong venue. It's okay to voice your disappointment but don't beat him over the head with it or constantly remind him about it. What will happen is that he would start feeling bad and uncomfortable and decide that he does not enjoy really spending time with you.
Gaol 18: Give him compliments, but do not let them be profuse or fake. It is common for women to get compliments from men, but sometimes women forget to return the favour. It does not have to be about saying something nice back to him once he says it to you. For example, if he is in the middle of telling you a story and you find that you admire something he said or did, you can do a quick comment like "Oh wow, that is so nice of you!"
Goal 19: If you have anything in common with him, try to incorporate that as a topic at least during the first few conversations you have with him. It works as a great ice breaker.
Goal 20: Cook for him. Yes, it's the oldest trick in the book, but remarkably one that is often overlooked by modern women. Don't you realise that a man considers the act of cooking for him an 'affectionate' gesture? And if you're lucky, he might be a good cook and reciprocate.
Gaol 21: Be bubbly, laugh a lot. If I could give just ONE quality that men tend to say they find attractive about a woman's personality, it is that she has a good sense of humour. This does not mean that they are looking for clowns or comedians, but just someone who can laugh at them (& their silly jokes) as well as laugh at themselves...people who don't take life TOO seriously, who see the funny side of things...even when they are crying! lol. Be lighthearted, laugh as innocently as a child without a care in the world. If you slip up, use homour, laugh at yourself. If HE slips up, use humour and laugh at the situation (not AT him). Just be known for always having a cheerful disposition (*my claim to fame in real life...lol).
Gaol 22: Be approachable. You aint gonna have that shy guy in church asking you out with a face like thunder. Have you ever wondered why some people constantly get approached by the new members in church who are seeking help, directions or answers? It is because these people are naturally approachable. I was not like this as a kid. I had a very serious face...but I learnt how to become approachable as a teen and now I get all sorts of strange people picking me out in a large crowd to ask for help, directions, etc. Basically, if you look like you will be patient and KIND to a complete stranger, then they will find you approachable, and that goes for the shy guy in Church or your singles ministry who has been trying to find ANY way to strike up a conversation with you.
Phew! I'm tired.
Will update later.
Goal 1: Know yourself
Goal 2: Appreciate the good things about yourself; focus on them.
Goal 3: Embrace your femininity. Think positive about being a woman. What do you enjoy about being a woman? Remember these things and let your appreciation show outwardly.
Goal 4: Be confident. If you don't think it, at least try to act it...and hopefully it will come naturally.
Goal 5: If you are interested in a guy, let him know in subtle ways that don't come across as aggressive. Although some men say otherwise, most men secretly prefer it if they are the one who did the 'chasing' (asking out). Give him the green light to ask you out.
Goal 6: Keep informed. Know what is happening in your local area and around the world. Read newspapers or watch the News on TV or listen to it on radio. Cultivate a running database of policitians and what they stand for. Ditto sports "headlines". Don't bother getting too carried away following sports news, just the basics would do.
Goal 7: Be a bit unpredictable.
Goal 8: Show your skills in a delicate, feminine manner. If you are good at something don't try to compete with him or make him feel inferior.
Goal 9: Dress like a woman
Goal 10: Wear fruity fragrances (not strong perfume....).
Goal 11: Show your appreciation for a man's masculine side
Goal 12: Occasionally show your vulnerability and ask for help with manly things (like opening a jar! lol
). Men like feeling like heros or protectors. Goal 13: Accept compliments with grace. If you have hangups about yourself, keep them to yourself. It is a big turn off for a man to hear a woman say something like "I'm fat!" If he says "Wow, you have really lovely skin" don't say "No I don't! I've got a spot here, look!" or something like that. Be gracious and just say "Thank you" and look flattered, not dismayed or suspicious about his motives. In my book it is rude to argue with someone about a compliment they gave you.
Goal 14: Make them feel like they are the only ones in the entire world when you talk to them. That means focusing on them 100%. If you are on the phone, try to avoid distractions like the internet or television on the background. It is very easy for someone to pick up when your mind is not really there. Give them your full attention. If you are with them in person, try to stare into their eyes and nod your head occasionally to show that you are paying attention.
Goal 15: Shut up a bit. Yeah, I know, we just love to talk don't we? Well, it's a good idea to come up for air now and again, not only to keep yourself alive, but to allow him to get a word in. Do not be afraid of 'awkward silences'...let them come and if you give it enough time, he will start talking. Unlike most women, men actually think before they talk! lol
So the silence is usually a good time for them to think about what you have just said, and then formulate their reply. By letting him talk, you build trust and intimacy and you get to learn about him, his life, his goals and dreams, and basically how he interacts with other people in his life (a great way to get an idea is to get him to tell you a true story of something that happened to him).Goal 16 (My biggest asset): Give him permission to relax and be himself around you. If you have a certain air about you he might find it hard to relax, and then you will find it harder to get to know him. You don't have to act like 'one of the lads', but it does mean you have to grow a thicker skin. And for heavens sake, if he confesses something really rotten to you, either deliberately or by mistake, try not to show your disgust or dismay or tell him off before he finishes his story. If you do, he will keep more secrets from you. The goal is to get to know him inside and out, and you can't do that if he is afraid to open up to you for fear of your reactions. Let him be.
Goal 17: Give him room to mess up and don't judge him harshly. Especially at the beginning when he might be nervous and say the wrong things or do the wrong things...or even show up late or to the wrong venue. It's okay to voice your disappointment but don't beat him over the head with it or constantly remind him about it. What will happen is that he would start feeling bad and uncomfortable and decide that he does not enjoy really spending time with you.
Gaol 18: Give him compliments, but do not let them be profuse or fake. It is common for women to get compliments from men, but sometimes women forget to return the favour. It does not have to be about saying something nice back to him once he says it to you. For example, if he is in the middle of telling you a story and you find that you admire something he said or did, you can do a quick comment like "Oh wow, that is so nice of you!"
Goal 19: If you have anything in common with him, try to incorporate that as a topic at least during the first few conversations you have with him. It works as a great ice breaker.
Goal 20: Cook for him. Yes, it's the oldest trick in the book, but remarkably one that is often overlooked by modern women. Don't you realise that a man considers the act of cooking for him an 'affectionate' gesture? And if you're lucky, he might be a good cook and reciprocate.
Gaol 21: Be bubbly, laugh a lot. If I could give just ONE quality that men tend to say they find attractive about a woman's personality, it is that she has a good sense of humour. This does not mean that they are looking for clowns or comedians, but just someone who can laugh at them (& their silly jokes) as well as laugh at themselves...people who don't take life TOO seriously, who see the funny side of things...even when they are crying! lol. Be lighthearted, laugh as innocently as a child without a care in the world. If you slip up, use homour, laugh at yourself. If HE slips up, use humour and laugh at the situation (not AT him). Just be known for always having a cheerful disposition (*my claim to fame in real life...lol).
Gaol 22: Be approachable. You aint gonna have that shy guy in church asking you out with a face like thunder. Have you ever wondered why some people constantly get approached by the new members in church who are seeking help, directions or answers? It is because these people are naturally approachable. I was not like this as a kid. I had a very serious face...but I learnt how to become approachable as a teen and now I get all sorts of strange people picking me out in a large crowd to ask for help, directions, etc. Basically, if you look like you will be patient and KIND to a complete stranger, then they will find you approachable, and that goes for the shy guy in Church or your singles ministry who has been trying to find ANY way to strike up a conversation with you.
Phew! I'm tired.
Will update later.
