How soon into dating should you kiss?

[cindyrella]

I don't really feel comfortable kissing a guy until I start having feelings for him. and by feelings I don't mean attraction, I mean when I feel like I can trust him and like I know him.

This is usually about 4 months into the relationship, but really there's not a set time on it, it's just whenever I feel ready. But really I've never felt ready earlier than 4 months in now that I think about it.

Is this a good time to kiss? What if the guy wants to kiss earlier, should I be firm about my limit on kissing?

I'm not sure how to confront this issue and tell the guy in a loving non-rejecting way that I want to wait. Usually guys interpret it as rejection if you don't kiss them when you become their girlfriend...I can really really really LIKE a guy and still not want to kiss him till I start to actually LOVE him and there is a big difference.

 

[mqf]

I believe in this regard, you should follow what you are comfortable with. No need to rush ahead if your not ready. I also would ask, when you are dating, are you looking for a mate? i.e. a future spouse? or are you just dating for a boyfriend?

 

[LinkH]

Here is a good rule of thumb: don't do anything physically you would not do with a friend you are not married to after you get married. Do not do anything you would not want your husband to watch on video after you are married, assuming you marry someone else.

The Song of Solomon says "Do not awaken love until it's proper time?" You can tell him you won't kiss until marriage. That may get him to back off, hopefully.

 

[iambren]

If you haven't found warm attractive feelings before 4 months I'd dump him. He just doesn't trip your trigger. Four months seems a little long, especially if you are seeing him often. Even when I was a Christian teen if a gal didn't kiss me before 4 months I would think something was wrong with her.

Now when you say "kiss" that can have broad interpretations. There's a 1-2 second lip-to-lip kiss goodnight. Then there's the together in the house alone, in the dark, loose clothing, french-kissing that places both of you into temptation. We are not made of stone and are ill-equipped as God created us to resist in those situations.

Dating is kinda like an emotional-relational dance that a couple explores together. It's best to go slow and focus on getting to know each other, listening to God's leading if you are the proper mate for each other. There are no rules beyond letting God direct your steps.

 

[Inkachu]

It's personal and different for each couple.

My personal belief is that, since kisses (to me) are an expression of love, they should be reserved for someone you love. Not just someone you like, or think is cute, or have fun with.

I think we give our hearts and emotions away far too easily, including our physical affection. Your kisses are precious and priceless; treat them as such.

 

[abacabb]

It's personal and different for each couple.

My personal belief is that, since kisses (to me) are an expression of love, they should be reserved for someone you love. Not just someone you like, or think is cute, or have fun with.

I think we give our hearts and emotions away far too easily, including our physical affection. Your kisses are precious and priceless; treat them as such.

Well said. My wife and I didn't kiss until we married, though we often embraced each other.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Everyone is different. My feeling is the type of kissing can be dangerous. For instance kissing tends to warm up our bodies for sex, even if we don't have that in mind. Its a built in thing. So kissing beyond a simple kiss can lead to other things. Does this mean you shouldn't kiss? Will thats up to you.

For me I was engaged to my fiance (long distance relationship) for awhile. So when we met aside from holding her, kissing was ok. BUt we had to be aware of it so it didn't lead anywhere. We did deeply kiss though...many times. I think though its a bit better to kiss at that level ONLY when you truly are going to marry and deeply in love. In our case we were marrying 16 days after we had met. So kidding was ok.

BUT... one night before the wedding we were kissing lightly, then it got deeper. Next thing we know we are moving our hands all about and it almost lead to sex, but we both stopped and cried feeling guilty we let it get to that level. We prayed for forgiveness and moved on. It also helped my mother was sleeping in the same room (as a backup plan). So as stated kissing can be dangerous no matter how much you think it won't go further.

As stated theres no good or bad answer. You have to know your limits head of time so you don't mess up.

 

[California Dreamin']

We're in a long distance relationship and I didn't think we would kiss the first time we met in person because when I had asked about kissing, he said when the relationship is more serious, but we did end up kissing anyway... It wasn't heavy kissing though.