How should I encourage my husband?

[Genuine]

My husband has a very stressful job. It's starting to really wear him down and I don't know how to encourage him. He's starting to become depressed, and I have NEVER seen him like this. I've suggested he speak to a Chaplain, but he's been really busy with work and hasn't been able to yet. He doesn't work with many, if any, other Christians. I know that if there was just ONE other Christian he worked with, life would be so much easy for him. It really wears on him spiritually. We're going to join a church in the next couple weeks and want to try to get into a small group. I'm hoping that the fellowship will help. I love my husband dearly... I hate seeing him like this. Any suggestions on how to spiritually encourage him and pull him out of a depression?

 

[FallenPaladin]

Make being home with you as stress free as possible and the highlight of his day.

 

[Luther073082]

Make being home with you as stress free as possible and the highlight of his day.

I agree with this, try not to put any extra stress on him that isn't necessary.

I would also suggest you tell him that if he really doesn't like his job, it doesn't bother you if he looks for another one even if it has somewhat less pay. (Presuming you are financially stable right now). Not saying he should quit now, but its ok with you if he looks for another job with less stress even if it pays less.

Honestly maybe its just me but I think a lot of times more money isn't worth working all the time at a job you hate.

 

[dorig59]

Tell him what a great job he's doing and how proud you are of him. Remind him that he's the BEST husband ever and you don't know what you'd do without him. And tell him you know he can do this because he can do anything he sets his mind to. And get involved in that church group asap.

 

[dorig59]

I agree with this, try not to put any extra stress on him that isn't necessary.

I would also suggest you tell him that if he really doesn't like his job, it doesn't bother you if he looks for another one even if it has somewhat less pay. (Presuming you are financially stable right now). Not saying he should quit now, but its ok with you if he looks for another job with less stress even if it pays less.

Honestly maybe its just me but I think a lot of times more money isn't worth working all the time at a job you hate.

He can't do that because he's in the military.

 

[Luther073082]

He can't do that because he's in the military.

Oh. . .

Then I guess I would strongly suggest that when his term of service ends that he take his honorable discharge and go. Don't re-enlist.

Just want to also say from the civilian side that I really apprechiate the sacrifices your husband and you are making in service to the country.

 

[Robinsegg]

1. Pray with him.
2. See if he would agree to a couples devotional (it can be really short, just a couple of minutes) to bring the two of you closer.
3. I agree with making things as stress-free at home as possible and praising him for what he does (not just at work, but anything positive).
4. Join that church and small group!
5. Encourage hubby to find a man (or group of men) at the new church to meet with from time to time (even just to get coffee or soda).

Rachel

 

[LovesToBless]

I agree with everything that has been shared here already.

I'd like to add another idea, that is "smaller", but we've found very helpful.

Try to laugh every day. For example, for us...we like to look at the website icanhascheezburgers dot com because we like cute animals, and the other things on there...it makes us both laugh. Or we'll watch a youtube clip of someone we think is funny. Or ...if we have time, we'll watch a funny movie.

Might be different for you, of course, but laughter is a great stress relief.

We also like to get out in nature somehow. Nature's beauty is very restorative.

Bottom line, I'd suggest things that are "fun" in some way for your husband. Maybe it's listening to music or playing a sport or...whatever. Something that is fun and relaxing can really help in stressful times.

God bless.

 

[Genuine]

Thanks everyone

I do make an effort to keep home as stress free as possible. And I think encouraging him to become a part of some type of men's group would be a great idea. It would be really good for him to be surrounded by other Christian men for a change. I'm still going to keep my eye on this depression.

 

[Johnnz]

Sometimes we make ourselves more stressed by our reactions and responses, and these can be expressions of how far we have managed to integrate our Christian values with life as we find it. Too large a disconnect and in some ways Jesus becomes distant and unhelpful. Some mutual exploration of underlying values may be useful.

John
NZ