How should a single be better prepared for marriage?

[historyincognito]

This one is for the married man. I am a single Christian guy and I am seeking guidance on how should I better prepare myself Or train myself to be spiritual leader in a home?

 

[Dave-W]

Find a married man as a mentor.

Beyond that, there are a lot of books and other materials on marriage out there, from settling conflicts to practical things like managing finances.

 

[ValleyGal]

I am a woman, and all I can do is say what makes my husband a fantastic "spiritual leader".

He is the first to initiate reconciliation when we have a disagreement. (1 John 4:19) (Matthew 5:24)
He models the humility of Christ. (Philippians 2:5-8)
He walks in the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22-23)
He submits himself and denies himself for my sake. (Ephesians 5:21)

If you do these kinds of things and your partner does not respond the way that the church responds to Jesus (that is, reciprocate with those same attitudes), then you are not with the right person. From this woman's perspective, this is how to be a spiritual leader.

Additionally, you can read Dr. John Gottman's "Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work." Dr. Gottman is Jewish (I believe) and although he does not refer to anything religious in his book, his research has yielded very biblical results.

 

[historyincognito]

Thank you, God is giving me the opportunity to listen to some biblical teaching on Marriage and putting though a text of money handling.

 

[Dave-W]

One other thing (this applies to all singles) - if you have experienced ongoing abuse of any kind - including, but not limited to; bullying, emotional abuse, physical abuse, spiritual abuse, sexual abuse; then get yourself to a biblically trained counselor to get those issues dealt with ASAP. That kind of baggage can kill an otherwise great marriage.

 

[Avniel]

I would say travel, read and pray.......a good people aren't going to agree with this but don't take all the mentoring and all of that. Take some time to understand who you are, what's important to you and what you really want in life. Find out who you are in Christ and enjoy that journey. I think that prepares one for marriage.

 

[Angeldove97]

This one is for the married man. I am a single Christian guy and I am seeking guidance on how should I better prepare myself Or train myself to be spiritual leader in a home?

Know yourself, your goals, and what you want out of a marriage. When talking about marriage, question EVERYTHING and give serious responses. I would suggest that if you don't have a potential lady in your life right now, do some research and look up a list of questions to ask yourself about marriage topics.

Some good lists...
http://www.connact.com/~hom/blog/276questions.htm

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/questions-to-ask-when-preparing-for-marriage

Be prepared to share your ideas on these questions with the person - you will end up changing over time, but at least get the ball rolling so you know what you should address with a potential future spouse. This should be done BEFORE you even talk about "hey would you ever want to get married?". Hubby and I talked about all of these topics prior to talking about if we'd want to marry each other and we have such a strong marriage because we understand each other so well. (One of the things we had to do to prepare for marriage is take a "quiz" about each other - we scored so well in so many areas that my priest (who is in his late 60's) has never seen a couple score that high. Not bragging, but I know that we did so well because we talked seriously about all of these topics.)

Besides that: grow yourself and your faith. Learn how to do things that will be needed around the house - cleaning, fixing, building, etc. I grew up learning how to do chores (thanks Mom) and how to fix things (thanks Dad) - this was so helpful to me as a wife, but my husband didn't grow up in that kind of household, so I'm left teaching him new things throughout our marriage. Not a bad thing (it's very rewarding to see my husband learn a new skill and he's happy to use that skill in the future to help out), but it can be frustrating at times. A wife will appreciate a man who has his own interests, abilities, and a strong faith in our Lord.

 

[Lukamu]

This one is for the married man. I am a single Christian guy and I am seeking guidance on how should I better prepare myself Or train myself to be spiritual leader in a home?

In a godly way, learn to become independent. Fix your own meals, wash your own clothes, budget your own money, etc. Inspect yourself for habits that you might think "I'll stop doing that when I find the right woman," like playing hours of video games or drinking too much beer. It doesn't hurt to take care of your body by proper diet and exercise either.
On the spiritual side: read the entire Bible, pray often, develop all of the "love is..." skills in 1 Cor 13.

Good luck!

 

[Aino]

I wouldn't say there's one correct or right way of being a husband / wife. Just learn to live with them and be prepared to make compromises etc.

 

[John Robie]

This one is for the married man. I am a single Christian guy and I am seeking guidance on how should I better prepare myself Or train myself to be spiritual leader in a home?

This is what I've told my sons (not the two year old, though). What sort of man would you want for your sister? A good, solid man of God who demonstrably loves Jesus? One who is in the word? One who knows how to work? One who is respectful to his parents?

Be that kind of man.