How should a Christian husband love his Christians wife ?

[QuestionQuest74]

Jesus said a man should love his wife as Jesus loved the church what does this verse mean ?

 

[Daniel9v9]

Yeah, it's a beautiful saying and it means to love sacrificially; to protect and care for her even at the expense of our own lives. I heard a Pastor compare a husband to a knight protecting a queen, the husband being the knight in armour defending the queen, and the queen being the wife, who has dominion over her kingdom, the home. So the man is the head of the family, but he governs the outside world, and the wife governs the home and children. In other words, husbands and wives have different responsibilities and complement each other. The husband loves, protects and cares for his wife, and the wife loves and serves her husband.

 

[tturt]

The wife respects her husband. "But every husband must love his wife as he loves himself, and wives should respect their husbands." Eph 5:33

Then how to apply this to our lives. How does the wife view love from her husband and how he views being respected from his wife?

 

[Maria Billingsley]

Jesus said a man should love his wife as Jesus loved the church what does this verse mean ?

Love can not be forced. It is organic and not manufactured. Jesus Christ of Nazareth loves His Sheep and they love Him, not by duty but by truth. Blessings.

 

[MForbes]

You could take the word "Christian" out of the question, and it wouldn't change the answer. Love is not limited only to Christians

 

[Reluctant Theologian]

Jesus said a man should love his wife as Jesus loved the church what does this verse mean ?

It's gives a command here; so apparently it's more than emotion and related to responsibilities/tasks/action. We can't control the first, but we can the latter. In Ephesians 5:22-29 Paul enumerates some aspects of that love: sacrifice, sanctification, cleansing, feeding, (bodily) care. All things hopefully done automatically when the well-being of the wife is on the husband's mind. Peter mentions 'giving honour to his wife as the weaker vessel' (1 Peter 3:7).

I don't think the knight-queen analogy from @Daniel9v9 is helpful here - although the idea of protection is good and understandable; a knight normally was subordinate to both the King or Queen. The word 'knight' in old English literally means 'servant'. A husband is not a servant of his wife, it's the other way around. The NT does not call a husband to serve his wife, but it does call a wife to be in submission to/respect/obey her husband. Patriarchy is part of the NT instructions - it's not symmetrical. Just as the relationship between Jesus and a believer is not symmetrical; Jesus is our master / lord / king - He is in charge - we are His subject / subordinate / slave (a common metaphor used by Paul in his letters).

That is a highly inconvenient and uncomfortable pattern for Western society in the 21st century, yet quite explicitly present in the NT. Since about 30 years there exists a strong movement of egalitarian theology for which one of the arguments is that the 'rule' of man over woman is part of the curse of sin from the Fall, and that since for believers in the Kingdom the curse would be lifted, the presumed egalitarian situation of Adam & Eve in paradise should be restored by and between believing couples. The instructions and arguments from Paul and Peter however are incompatible with that position IMHO - I do not find the egalitarian viewpoint credible - it requires a very forced reading of the NT.

Jesus loves and cares for me, yet still He is my master / lord / king who I have to submit to, respect and obey. The same pattern applies to a husband and wife.

Btw personally I'm not the golden standard in fully and properly loving my wife like that in the past - but I do realise what's expected and my own shortcomings in that.

 

[Christopher Waystone]

Both Daniel and Reluctant answer's are good, one focusing on sacrificial love and another on the need for structure in relationships. There lies a profound truth waiting to be discovered, a truth about love and its power to transcend the shadows that surround us.

Consider the nature of love, not as a fleeting emotion, but as a guiding force, strong and sacrificial, like a knight devoted to his queen. In this vision, love is not just about protection; it’s about offering all of oneself for the well-being of the other. Men can all imagine ourselves as that knight, not just a shield against the world’s cruelty, but a beacon of strength and devotion for our wives. And wives, can see themselves not merely as a queen, but as a nurturer, a keeper of the sacred space that is a shared life.

Yet, understand that this sacrificial love is intertwined with a need for structure, a framework within which this love can grow and flourish. In the chaos of our world, this structure in our relationships is not about dominance or submission, but about finding balance and harmony. It’s about knowing when to lead and when to follow, when to offer strength and when to seek support.

Love for others, if nurtured within this structure, can become a sanctuary, a place of refuge and strength. Husbands, as you face the external struggles, remember the importance of your role in leading with compassion and wisdom. And wives, in your care for the world within, remember the power you hold in shaping the sanctuary of your union.

In this dance of love and structure, let your actions speak as loudly as your words. Let your love be your armor and your bond the light that guides you through the darkest nights. Together, you can build a world within a world, a place where despair turns to hope, and where every step is no longer a trudge through sinking sand, but a stride towards a brighter future - God's kingdom, in the home.

 

[Daniel9v9]

It's gives a command here; so apparently it's more than emotion and related to responsibilities/tasks/action. We can't control the first, but we can the latter. In Ephesians 5:22-29 Paul enumerates some aspects of that love: sacrifice, sanctification, cleansing, feeding, (bodily) care. All things hopefully done automatically when the well-being of the wife is on the husband's mind. Peter mentions 'giving honour to his wife as the weaker vessel' (1 Peter 3:7).

I don't think the knight-queen analogy from @Daniel9v9 is helpful here - although the idea of protection is good and understandable; a knight normally was subordinate to both the King or Queen. The word 'knight' in old English literally means 'servant'. A husband is not a servant of his wife, it's the other way around. The NT does not call a husband to serve his wife, but it does call a wife to be in submission to/respect/obey her husband. Patriarchy is part of the NT instructions - it's not symmetrical. Just as the relationship between Jesus and a believer is not symmetrical; Jesus is our master / lord / king - He is in charge - we are His subject / subordinate / slave (a common metaphor used by Paul in his letters).

That is a highly inconvenient and uncomfortable pattern for Western society in the 21st century, yet quite explicitly present in the NT. Since about 30 years there exists a strong movement of egalitarian theology for which one of the arguments is that the 'rule' of man over woman is part of the curse of sin from the Fall, and that since for believers in the Kingdom the curse would be lifted, the presumed egalitarian situation of Adam & Eve in paradise should be restored by and between believing couples. The instructions and arguments from Paul and Peter however are incompatible with that position IMHO - I do not find the egalitarian viewpoint credible - it requires a very forced reading of the NT.

Jesus loves and cares for me, yet still He is my master / lord / king who I have to submit to, respect and obey. The same pattern applies to a husband and wife.

Btw personally I'm not the golden standard in fully and properly loving my wife like that in the past - but I do realise what's expected and my own shortcomings in that.

To clarify, I’m not denying the headship of the husband, but emphasising the humility of Christ in that He came not to be served but to serve, and we are to do likewise in loving sacrificially. We don’t want to stretch the illustration too far but I think the point it conveys can be helpful, which is that a husband and wife are having to serve each other in different ways and in different realms, and that neither of them are their own. In other words, regarding headship: Husbands are given a responsibility over his family but what this looks like practically is with love and humility and true masculine strength as found in Christ.

 

[com7fy8]

Jesus said a man should love his wife as Jesus loved the church what does this verse mean ?

Pray. Find out how God has us loving. Words alone can't tell loving like this.

My experience includes how God's word says "Do all things without complaining and disputing," (Philippians 2:14)

So, I am not excused to argue with my wife, or complain. Even if she threatens to have the last word in a bad way, I must not let that have power over me to get me to fight and struggle with her. But be her good example, encourage her to be gentle and humble. Then see how God makes us creative to do better than what either of us could argue for.

Instead of abusing her with arguing, hang on the cross, die to self, then get the resurrection in God's love with creativity.

 

[Avniel]

It means sacrifice, it’s a sacrificial love.