how much does money matter in a relationship?

[bagawitz]

Hello. I realize that everybody has their own ideas about the answer to this question, but just wanted to get some input from yall - especially the females. Lately I have been thinking a lot about how much money I need to make in order to support a wife and possible family someday. I have been kind of putting off dating and pursuing women because I wanted to feel financially ready for a relationship/family first. Does this make sense? , or would I do better to go ahead and date and explore a relationship without worrying so much about having all my financial planning figured out? By the way I am 36 -and I'm not getting any younger

 

[BoarderDave]

I think bad financial position would put a big kink in a relationship.. as much as some people say money doesn't matter, when you dont have it.. stress runs high, problems pop up and people get real tense about EVERYTHING.

I dont think a person needs to be rich or well off though.. just be comfortable. I think for me.. if she has SOME sort of income, and not completely thoughtless with money.. she is good in my books.

 

[MrsSeptemberPenguin]

I won't say that it doesn't matter, you need to be able to live after all. I don't necessarily think you have to be completely financially stable to date, but it'd be good if you were planning to be somewhere in the near future. You would want to be at least somewhat stable before you get married. My personal opinion is you should work hard, be semi stable financially if at all possible, but that having tons of extra money is not a necessity.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I think money matters. But....I don't think you have to have all your ducks in a row before dating. If you have goals and plans and are working toward that, you should still be able to date. Sometimes as with all things we want to be totally prepared, but just like having children, if some of us waited until we were financially "ready" to have them, it would never happen. Plan your finances and be wise with what God gives you and let him decide the rest. He always has our best intentions in mind.

 

[HopeFaithLove4u]

Hello. I realize that everybody has their own ideas about the answer to this question, but just wanted to get some input from yall - especially the females. Lately I have been thinking a lot about how much money I need to make in order to support a wife and possible family someday. I have been kind of putting off dating and pursuing women because I wanted to feel financially ready for a relationship/family first. Does this make sense? , or would I do better to go ahead and date and explore a relationship without worrying so much about having all my financial planning figured out? By the way I am 36 -and I'm not getting any younger

I think that is very normal for a guy to feel that way about money. Every guy, I have dated has felt like he needs to have his 'financial picture' worked out. (except one guy, that really didn't know what he was doing with his life).
Having said that (for me), how much money a guy makes doesn't matter that much. But what really does matter to me, is that he DOES have a stable job for a long time and good benefits. Financial security is VERY important to me.

 

[canehdianhotstuff]

What money? lol

 

[Laurie919]

I would at least like someone who can take me to dinner, but he doesn't have to have money.

If a womans financial position is majorly important to a guy I am screwed because I live broke.

 

[canehdianhotstuff]

Well I have more than enough for dinner lol, but I dont think it should put that big a stress on the relationship, it's the love and having eachother that counts, the rest will always come together.

 

[Laurie919]

It is crazy though to wait until you are financially able to date. That is like waiting to have a child, if you wait until everything is perfect you would never have one.

 

[Laurie919]

Well I have more than enough for dinner lol, but I dont think it should put that big a stress on the relationship, it's the love and having eachother that counts, the rest will always come together.

As long as he has a job, and is actually trying to make a living I am fine with that.

 

[canehdianhotstuff]

As long as he has a job, and is actually trying to make a living I am fine with that.

Lol well I dont have a job persay, I am a college kid still, I do tutor across 5 programs at the college for a bit of cash lol.

 

[Laurie919]

Lol well I dont have a job persay, I am a college kid still, I do tutor across 5 programs at the college for a bit of cash lol.

Well, I am requiring a job because of very bad relationships in the past.

 

[Peacemonger]

This is bar none the most powerful thread to me on CF that I've read in the past 3-6 months here!

I think money matters. But....I don't think you have to have all your ducks in a row before dating. If you have goals and plans and are working toward that, you should still be able to date. Sometimes as with all things we want to be totally prepared, but just like having children, if some of us waited until we were financially "ready" to have them, it would never happen. Plan your finances and be wise with what God gives you and let him decide the rest. He always has our best intentions in mind.

I think that is very normal for a guy to feel that way about money. Every guy, I have dated has felt like he needs to have his 'financial picture' worked out. (except one guy, that really didn't know what he was doing with his life).
Having said that (for me), how much money a guy makes doesn't matter that much. But what really does matter to me, is that he DOES have a stable job for a long time and good benefits. Financial security is VERY important to me.

It is crazy though to wait until you are financially able to date. That is like waiting to have a child, if you wait until everything is perfect you would never have one.

The above three quotes may sound like common sense, but I've been in such denial for most of my life (or at least since I turned 18 or 19). I keep coming up with insane goals and stuff (and I'm working hard so they come true), but at the same time I tell myself "OK, you're not perfect yet, so don't date yet!" But I keep waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Meanwhile, I think I kill a little piece of me inside by completely pushing women out of my life and turning down opportunity after opportunity!

This is a lesson to stop being so mean and harsh on myself. I'm like my own slave-driver. I just need to somehow convince myself that I don't have to be 100% there just to meet some quality women and get to know them. Oye vey I can be so stubborn.

So say, for instance, that you're going to school to become a ____. Well I keep going "OK, well when I get done with high school I can date." Then "OK, when I get done with college I can date." And so on! Or it's like saying that you have to be CEO in order to be ready to date.

If i Keep this cr*p up, I'll be 65 years old before I get married. Peacemonger, stop being retarded. So thanks for the wake-up call, random CF people. I needed a good face slapping. Time to go kiss a bunch of people.

 

[SonicBOOM]

if I really liked the girl, money wouldn't be a big deal. Part of marrege is carrying eachother's struggles. i'm one of the very few people who actully try to go against the tide of confort. I wanna find an unstable yet simple life because to me that would be adventurious

 

[HopeFaithLove4u]

The above three quotes may sound like common sense, but I've been in such denial for most of my life (or at least since I turned 18 or 19). I keep coming up with insane goals and stuff (and I'm working hard so they come true), but at the same time I tell myself "OK, you're not perfect yet, so don't date yet!" But I keep waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Meanwhile, I think I kill a little piece of me inside by completely pushing women out of my life and turning down opportunity after opportunity!

This is a lesson to stop being so mean and harsh on myself. I'm like my own slave-driver. I just need to somehow convince myself that I don't have to be 100% there just to meet some quality women and get to know them. Oye vey I can be so stubborn.

So say, for instance, that you're going to school to become a ____. Well I keep going "OK, well when I get done with high school I can date." Then "OK, when I get done with college I can date." And so on! Or it's like saying that you have to be CEO in order to be ready to date.

If i Keep this cr*p up, I'll be 65 years old before I get married. Peacemonger, stop being retarded. So thanks for the wake-up call, random CF people. I needed a good face slapping. Time to go kiss a bunch of people.

Well, Peace, you need to look at the reasons it's so important to you? And are you using it as an excuse to not get involved with someone?

I mean, I'm more at an age, where I date guys that should ALREADY be involved with a career (35-45 year olds), so a guy having some sort of financial stability IS important to me, not how much money he makes, esp. by age 35.....BUT, I had no problem when I was in my 20's, being involved with guys that weren't quite into a career, but were working toward one.

So, I don't think guys should put so much pressure on themselves that they have to already have "their ducks in a row" BEFORE they could date. There have been a few guys, that lost me, because of that very reason.

 

[2scoops]

God does say He will provide all of our needs. Are we not more important than the flowers that God provides water and sun for? Are we not more important than the birds that God feeds?

Matthew 7:11 (King James Version)

11If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

Matthew 21:21-23 (King James Version)

21 Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.
22And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

John 16:23-25 (King James Version)

23And in that day ye shall ask me nothing. Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, he will give it you.

24Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full. 25These things have I spoken unto you in proverbs: but the time cometh, when I shall no more speak unto you in proverbs, but I shall shew you plainly of the Father




James 4:2-4 (King James Version)

http://www.biblegateway.com/bg_versions/bgclick.php?what=2 2Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.

3Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. 4Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.



Hebrews 11:6 (King James Version)

6But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

2 Timothy 1:7 (King James Version)

7For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

1 Peter 5:7-9 (King James Version)

7Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

8Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: 9Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.

Philippians 4


4Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice.
5Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.
6Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
7And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

1 John 4:17-19 (King James Version)

17Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world.

18There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. 19We love him, because he first loved us.

 

[Blank123]

Hello. I realize that everybody has their own ideas about the answer to this question, but just wanted to get some input from yall - especially the females. Lately I have been thinking a lot about how much money I need to make in order to support a wife and possible family someday. I have been kind of putting off dating and pursuing women because I wanted to feel financially ready for a relationship/family first. Does this make sense? , or would I do better to go ahead and date and explore a relationship without worrying so much about having all my financial planning figured out? By the way I am 36 -and I'm not getting any younger

in a dating relationship money isn't extremely important since there are plenty of ways to have a date and not spend a lot of money. but it is important to show that you are responsible with money. In a marriage money becomes much more important since from what i hear most marriages collapse due to financial reasons.

 

[GoodNewsJim]

I hate money. A woman doesn't need money to be my wife.

 

[Alphawolf]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Sums it up

"Money is the root of all evil." *cough*

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Sums it up

"Money is the root of all evil." *cough*

Uhmmm no....I believe it is "The LOVE of money is the root of all kinds of evil for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

1 Timothy 6:10