How many have suffered sexual abuse of some kind?

ShannonMcCatholic · Sep 3, 2005

I used to cut, it was the only thing that made me feel, well, anything. I was so numb, I was so broken, I was so lonely..

If anyone had asked me "Why?"-- there is no way I could have even asnwered- I truly didn't know.

When I was 23 and had my son, that launched me into a time of great healing. During that healing I was able to put together the words"I was raped" for the first time ever during the ten years since it had happened... I am sure now that my cutting (and many other destructive behaviours) was a direct result of that.

I just wondered how many others out there who cut also struggle with some kind of sexual abusse in their past?? Do you still struggle?

ninetails390 · Sep 5, 2005

Me... I have... Not as serious as, say, being raped, but my little brother has sexually abused me. He's working on stopping now... Mom talked to him... but it went on for a few years without anybody even really noticing how serious it was. When Mom finally found out what all he really was doing to me, she talked to him about it right away. I was kind of... I dunno... humiliating, to be treated that way by a kid who's 3 years younger than me and not having the power to stop him because I didn't want to hurt my brother and get in trouble... It's definately be a pretty big part of why I SI. I know how you feel, though, because i didn't really realise it until recently. Now that I think about it, though, it really had to have been a major cause. I don't know if it's stopped, yet, because my brother could easily start back up, even after saying he won't... but hopefully that much of the problem is solved... And hopefully soon I'll get the rest of the hidden parts worked out, too, so I can finally feel good, again...

oneandlonely · Sep 5, 2005

I went throught some abuse when I was 8. But i don't think that is the reason I started cutting. but, then again it might have something to do with it.

Bethany

musiclady · Sep 5, 2005

I was abussed as a child for 10 years, and i know that it where all my cutting comes from....i had parents that didnt believe, and perps that denied everything. i was totally alone. still feel that way.....still want to punidh myself.

Dona

Psychlea · Sep 6, 2005

OK. I'll take the plunge and answer. I do struggle with sexual abuse in my childhood. I think about it constantly. And I didn't cut before I started struggling. And I dunno if I would be cutting if I hadn't started struggling.
They say it is a long road to healing, but that I'll get there. But then, they didn't count on this. *sardonic laugh*

-Psychlea

warrior4_yahuwshua · Sep 6, 2005

I've only been verbally harrassed, and guys pushing me around saying all I was made for was to have sex with to beat... to have babies, clean and cook. I had a friend go over board with our friendship and tried to make me do things I didn't. He wasn't successful.

But sometimes the thought all I was made was to have sex reigns in my mind, and it makes me feel so low and so dirty and reminds me of the touching I couldn't make decease and it sticks in my head that it was my fault. For being female. That's partially why I am feminist. Male shovinst pigs. Grrr, but I have finally came to realize that not every male is sex craving wolf in sheep clothing.

Renwolf · Sep 7, 2005

I've never been sexually abused, or abused in any way, thank God. My self injury has always been due to a lack of proper coping skills, inability to deal with strong emotions, and a good dose of intense self loathing.

My heart goes out to everyone struggling with issues of abuse. You are all in my thoughts.

ShannonMcCatholic · Sep 7, 2005

Thank you all for having the courage to answer-- you know just when I thought I've forgiven- and just when I think, "Okay- I am finally healed"--a whole new round of awarness and reflection comes.

I still think I am struggling a bit to forgive the entire army of mental health professionals my parents sent me to-- all of whom failed to understand why I was cutting.. they all just thought it was for attention. I still don't understand why no one pressed the question of abuse.... instead here I suffer anew-- the onlt difference now is that I have learned to unite it all with the Cross- but that doesn't diminish the anguish.....

beetlequeendiva · Sep 7, 2005

Yup I have been sexually abused alot by several different people - 1 who was a fatherly figure, and others who have been important to me - I cut because I have my body to be honest.

jen_soccer13 · Sep 7, 2005

When I was younger I had quite a bit of sexual abuse. I would definately say that is part of the reason I cut.

4childofgod · Sep 8, 2005

I was sexually abused to and am a SI the abuse went on for about 7 years. My parents knew nothing about it. Is that why I SI? I'm not sure!

shazabella · Sep 23, 2005

I was physically abused for 5 yrs , suffered severe depression for 2 yrs and was raped at the age of 17 and i know that whilst the rape didn't help thing it didn't cause me to self harm. The abuse was a huge factor and SI'ing was the only way for me to cope.

- Shaz

amtvball4jesus · Sep 24, 2005

my EX bf from 10th grade tried to make me do IT but i pushed him off. no1 found out. i forgot about it for a while

How many have suffered sexual abuse of some kind?

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