How Long DO You Wait in Separation Stage?

[Jerm2911Gal]

My husband and I had marriage problems for the last 4 of 5 yrs we have been married. He refused counseling, etc... blames everything on me. THings escalated over time,and for my sanity I moved out with our 3yr old daughter while he still refused counseling. It's been almost 5 months of separation and he admitted to a year long affair, which ended 2 yrs ago... then asked for a divorce. The separation was to work on ourselves and toward reconciliation. To give us time to cool down, as fights were multiple times a day. Although he has asked for a divorce, he continues to give reasons why he can't pay for it now, or why he can't schedule the app - he wants it to go thru mediation rather than court. I have asked for marriage counseling.... even as of last week.

How long do I put my life on hold for him? I have a biblical reason to divorce, but have not because I know God hates it. But how long to do I wait?

Maybe there isn't an answer as each situation is different.

 

[outdoorman]

Good question. I pondered the same thing since my wife of 24 yrs moved out 8 months ago. She wasnt ready to divorce and wants to be with someone she feels like she's in love with so for now Im in similar situation. I recently began putting Christ in the equation and find myself asking him for help and direction. Being lonesome is no fun but I want my marriage to work so Im struggling daily.

 

[dayhiker]

Jerm,
If you still want the marriage to work. make yourself a list of what he needs to do before you move back in. Then stick to the list.
Next, I'd say to get your hands on half of the money your accounts so he can't get it and hide it.

See a divorce lawyer or 3. They usually give you one hour free. Have some qurstions all prepared. Use then next laywer to clarify what you need to get cleared up from your talk with the 1st.

Basically, have a plan, don't wing it.