How long do I really need hubby?

[ConservativeChristian97]

This is my first pregnancy and everyone is telling me I need my husband home for at least a week with a vaginal birth and two weeks if I have to have a C-section. This has me a bit freaked out because he's starting a new job on April 2nd and if I don't have the baby when he's already off then he may only get three days or so without pay (which I doubt we could do because we'll still have bills ).

So, how long do I really need him home if everything goes well?

 

[RoseofLima]

Since you don't have any other kids to care for- I would think a couple days would be sufficient. However-- make sure you have lots of pre-prepared meals that you can easily heat and eat. Or have your husband pack you a cooler of food for your room before he leaves in the morning--full of bottles of water, too.

If you can swing it- and there's one in your area see if you can hire a post partim doula!!

 

[purpleunicorn_Andi]

or see if your friends will hang out with you, or one of your parents... my husband never stayed home, he helped out when he could, with our oldest I stayed with my prents for about a week after he was born (Robert didn't come home right away because he was born early)
this time arround my parent's are coming in for a couple of days, Ken will more than likely have to go to work the night I get out of the hospital... but I have friends in the area that will help out in a pinch if I need them. the church is going to organize some cassoroles so I won't have to worry about food for a while...

 

[Just4Jesus]

This is my first pregnancy and everyone is telling me I need my husband home for at least a week with a vaginal birth and two weeks if I have to have a C-section. This has me a bit freaked out because he's starting a new job on April 2nd and if I don't have the baby when he's already off then he may only get three days or so without pay (which I doubt we could do because we'll still have bills ).

So, how long do I really need him home if everything goes well?

Hey honey, don't freak too much. When I had my kids, that day I was sweeping and trying to do house work. but thats not for everyone I am not saying to go do that at all. It is good to have all the help you can get for the first couple of days if you have a vaginal delivery. Now a C oh my, Ive never had to go through that and hear it is very painful so with that Ive heard a few days. It will work out honey, don't get too upset.

Just think, long ago, women would go and squat, have their babies and go back to work. Wow, we are lucky these days.

 

[PegasusOnFire]

I had a c-section and I was ready to leave the hosptial the next day, everyone's c-section experiance is different. Anyway my hubby stayed with me 3 days after we got home with our first one, but only cause it was the weekend when we got home with her, though he did stay with me in the hospital.

 

[purpleunicorn_Andi]

oh and just to give you a laugh when I first saw the thread title I was like "what has her hubby done that she wants to get rid of him?"

 

[BananaCake]

This is a good question! My husband needs to tell them ahead of time when he will take time off, rather than the baby arriving and him being able to get a week from that point. So I'm having some friends come over in shifts to help me

 

[Just4Jesus]

oh and just to give you a laugh when I first saw the thread title I was like "what has her hubby done that she wants to get rid of him?"

ME TOO

 

[Redstiletto]

My hubby gets one week off paid but he might take an added few vacation days, but my mom will also probaby take off some time, and my little sister will be moving in with me and my hubby for two months to help out before she goes off to college

 

[ConservativeChristian97]

oh and just to give you a laugh when I first saw the thread title I was like "what has her hubby done that she wants to get rid of him?"

lol I wondered about that when I typed it.

Sadly, we'll be 13+ hours away from all of my family and friends so he's really all I have except his mom. If I have no other choice, she may stay with me a couple of days, but I really don't want that. I think my parents are coming down the second week, but then mom said she wasn't coming until he's two months old. I'm starting to think moving before the baby's born is a bad idea.

 

[oliveplants]

You can do it!

DH is blessed in that he's usually given a few days, plus he takes a week each time. But after 2 or 3 days he's ready to go back to work anyway.

I am usually ready to go home and get back to 'work' myself in a few hours. Just no heavy lifting, but everything else is okay. Especially if you do plan ahead and have a few pre-cooked meals in the freezer.

 

[ChildByGrace]

I think it will depend on how you feel.

If mine comes around my due date then my H will be going away for a week on a camp - i'm not stopping him going as i would like him out of the way while my mom is staying so that she can help me. Then when i am all sorted and in a routine he will take around a week off which will hopefully be a bit more relaxed.


Hopefully you might to know some people quite quickly so that they can come and visit you.

 

[Green Orchid]

After reading this thread, I feel really grateful that I live in Quebec! Since January 2006, the government has an awesome parental leave for both parents. The way dh and I have decided to split it, dh will have 12 weeks off on 75% of his salary! I'm really happy that he'll get to stay home with me and that we'll enjoy the first few months of our baby together.

 

[ChildByGrace]

After reading this thread, I feel really grateful that I live in Quebec! Since January 2006, the government has an awesome parental leave for both parents. The way dh and I have decided to split it, dh will have 12 weeks off on 75% of his salary! I'm really happy that he'll get to stay home with me and that we'll enjoy the first few months of our baby together.

That is amazing.

Over here my H can have two weeks off work. He gets 3 days of it as full pay and the other 7 days are at a rate of £110 per week which is way less than his full wage and we wouldn't be able to get by on it so he is going to have 3 days full pay and 2 days as annual leave.

 

[RedTulipMom]

oh and just to give you a laugh when I first saw the thread title I was like "what has her hubby done that she wants to get rid of him?"

LOL..i thought the same thing...

 

[RedTulipMom]

After reading this thread, I feel really grateful that I live in Quebec! Since January 2006, the government has an awesome parental leave for both parents. The way dh and I have decided to split it, dh will have 12 weeks off on 75% of his salary! I'm really happy that he'll get to stay home with me and that we'll enjoy the first few months of our baby together.

wow! thats so awesome! i wish they had that here!!

 

[RedTulipMom]

well everyone is different and every birth is different so its hard to say. My hubby always takes 2 weeks off after my births (no c-sections) and i am happy he is home that long and couldnt imagine if it was any less. He has somethign at work called "family medical leave" that he is able to use..if there were complications and i needed him home longer he could take even longer than that. I would try to get him home for atleast a week if possible.

 

[jessesgirl]

I was like sports mommy in that the day after Justin was born, I was up walking around the mall and cleaning house. For me (and lots of people), the 3rd and 4th day were the hardest recovery-wise. It was difficult for me to get up and down with my stitches. My mom and my husband were there or five days and that was really enough. It got me past the "worse before it gets better" phase and really helped out tremendously!

 

[RoseofLima]

I was like sports mommy in that the day after Justin was born, I was up walking around the mall and cleaning house. For me (and lots of people), the 3rd and 4th day were the hardest recovery-wise. It was difficult for me to get up and down with my stitches. My mom and my husband were there or five days and that was really enough. It got me past the "worse before it gets better" phase and really helped out tremendously!

That is what happens to a lot of people-- they are on a birth "high" and feel great the first day or two--and do a lot and then pay for it over the next week or two.

Personally, I try to do as close to nothing except taking care of me and of baby as I can- for as long as I can. My husband and I really talk about it all ahead of time-so I can clearly tell him my needs and expectations--he will need to do laundry, dishes, vacuuming, taking care of the other children, preparing meals, grocery shopping, etc. I try to be as specific as possible. I figure I worked my butt off growing and birthing this baby- I will work my butt off feeding and nurturing this baby- and I will work my butt off for the rest of my children's childhood....a few weeks off with a less than stellarly clean house is something I can definitely live with, and something I expect my husband to be able to deal with as well.

 

[PegasusOnFire]

in the US some companies have a paternity leave that is just like the maternity leave.