FallingWaters, I would rather be able to stick my hands in the side of Jesus than be blessed, because right now I am neither.
Cygne, I was going to point out that the Bible is more than a 2000 year old book, that it is full of contradictions, but that is an entirely different debate that I don't want to focus on. I don't believe the Bible is false just because it is old. I also want proof of the resurrection for the same reason you would want proof from somebody who believes in aliens, Mythra, Zeus, Shiva, etc. And I believe history, but history doesn't tell me that there were talking snakes, a talking donkey, a large exodus from Egypt, a man who spent days in the belly of a large fish, a man/God who walked on water and rose from the dead. And God does reveal himself to us in many ways... Thor, Yahweh, Amun, Isis, Osiris, Zeus, Brahman, Vishnu, Shiva, Allah, Anshar, Jupiter, and on and on. Answered prayer does not exist. Here is my ex-Christian testimony...
So here's my story. I grew up in a Christian home. I lived with both of my parents and my older brother, all of whom are still devout Christians. We went to church multiple times a week. I was a Cubbie, a Sparky, and a Pioneer (Awanas ;-D). I believed that Jesus died for my sins and everything was peachy. In 7th grade, poo hit the fan. I started to suffer from severe depression. Everyday I came home from school to sit in my room and cry until I fell asleep. It was absolutely for no reason. Then came the anxiety. I used to love to read in class. I would be the first person to volunteer. But all of the sudden I was more scared to read infront of people than I was scared of death. I remember one time in Social Studies, the teacher called on me to read just one small sentence. I started stuttering and ended up walking out of the class in tears infront of all of my friends, without finishing the sentence. I finally ended up in therapy, where I was diagnosed with OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder). I could go on for days about the ridiculous stuff I would do. I would sit at the bathroom sink for hours, in tears, washing my hands until they were literally dripping in blood. A big problem I had was with Christianity. I felt like if I didn't read the Bible for at least an hour a night, then I was being a bad Christian. I had to pray constantly for forgiveness, for every single bad thought that popped up in my mind. One time, I told a kid at school to shutup and I came home crying because I felt so bad. I ended up calling him to apologize, he was stupified. My OCD pretty much kept me in check, I never really did anything wrong, I couldn't without feeling the worst guilt in the world. By my freshman year in highschool, I pretty much had my OCD under complete control. At that time I finally felt like I didn't have to read the Bible. I still did, but it wasn't because of my OCD. But I started to feel like God wasn't part of my life. I became very upset and talked to a lot of my youth leaders. I continued to feel more empty until my senior year in high school. I continued to be very involved in church, but looking back now I was just trying to convince myself I believed. Well, during my senior year I found out that my best friend, a wonderful girl who was a strong Christian that I looked up to, was not a Christian anymore. She led many people to Christ in middle school. I always looked up to her so it was really hard on me and my belief. At that point I told myself, "She knew more about Christianity then I'll never know, and now if she doesn't believe, what am I doing?" I then decided to put off my beliefs until after college, when I would have more time research everything. With Christianity out of my life, I needed something to keep me busy. Kentucky Deluxe. A lot of it. I drank KD at least 3 times a week during my senior year. I hated life. I was angry. The only thing I looked forward to was getting drunk or high. The summer after my senior year I drank everyday until I started to get really bad allergies. My throat got really sore and so I couldn't drink or smoke, which was terrible. I was angry. I remember praying, "God I don't know if you're there or not, but if you are I need help because I'm going down the poo hole pretty fast." Well the next week I took some ecstacy, and long story short I ended up in the hospital with an irritated liver and pancreas. Terrible news right before my freshman year in college. I took it as a sign that I needed to start researching Christianity right away so that I could understand it and walk with God once again. I started reading non stop everything I could get my hands on. I even thought about going to Dallas Theological Seminary. At college, while everyone was out drinking, I would be up in my room reading articles online. I had a lot of questions. I prayed every night that I would be shown the "truth." I pretty much did that all year until this summer. I worked at a pizza place this summer. There was a kid there who I worked with, who went to my high school and let's just say he wasn't the coolest kid on the block. He wasn't smart, good looking, or cool. He would tell me about how everyone made fun of him in high school. I then found out that he had some disease and he wasn't expected to live for many more years. I thought to myself, "This kid isn't a Christian. God's making him live this absolutely terrible life, only to die and go to hell to suffer for eternity?" That's when I really started to doubt Christianity. I then came back to school where I met some Mormons. I talked with them a lot, and had some debates. They were so sincere in what they believed, and no matter how much I proved them wrong, they were always ignorant to the facts. I realized that's the exact same thing I was doing with Christianity. I was trying to patch up my questions with faith. Throughout this whole time, probably because of my OCD, I would think about death and religion nonstop, more than I thought about girls, which for all you guys out there, you know that is a lot. It drove me insane. A few weeks ago, I said forget it, I'm done worrying about this stuff. I ended up one night getting on this site and reading the night away. I read a lot of stuff online and bought both of Sam Harris' books, 'The End of Faith' and "Letter to a Christian Nation', both extremely great books. I consider myself agnostic now. I can't prove God. Part of me still has belief in one, just because of how everything has fit so perfectly together in my life, but I have no proof so I don't worry about it. My life has been completely changed though. I love life. I find beauty in every aspect of it. I want to help people, not because I want to please Jesus or because I'm scared of hell, but just because it makes me happy to make other people smile. I'm so open-minded and understanding, at least I try to be. I see live as a huge learning process, and it's been a great journey so far. I've gained so much knowledge within the past few months, it amazes me. And the more I began to know, the more I realize how much I really don't know.
I prayed more than anything for God's help. Nothing. Read through whydoesgodhateamputees.com if you have time.
rocklife, for the past ten years of my life I showed nothing but patience and perseverance. I spent my first year at college studying Christian answers every night, getting on my knees in tears and asking for guidance. I met with a youth leader from my home church, a pastor from my home church. I talked with a person from probe.org and one of his friends that actually works at my university. I met with two college ministers here in my college town. Nothing. You say you have Jesus as your sacrifice. Go research why the Jews are Christians. Read some of their arguments. You'll have to forgive me because I forgot the exact verse, but there is a passage in the OT where Moses (I think it was Moses) asks God to punish him for the sins of his people. God tells him that he cannot take the blame for other peoples sins, every man is responsible for his own sins.
Rita, Jesus may not be implying it, but the unfairness is still there. Thomas got to touch Jesus, to see him and feel him, how is that not an advantage over me living 2,000 years later?
Paul, why is a simple child-like faith favored by God? That sounds like a stupid trick to get a large group of followers. It reminds me of the passages in the Quran where Muslims are told not to question the Quran in anyway. Mormons believe the same type of idea. A simple child-like faith allows simple child-like people to believe in anything. And I think anyone who saw with their own eyes that Jesus died on the cross and rose again would do anything for Jesus. If I saw that, I would cut off my arms and legs for Jesus and gouge out my eyes if he asked me too. Just because God expects more from them doesn't make it just.
Boran, well I would rather not be blessed and be 100% sure that Jesus was real than be blessed and not sure. I was "blessed" and not sure and now I am neither.
Emmy, I've prayered more sincerely than you would probably believe. Besides, that's exactly what the Mormons say, "Just pray sincerely." It's a mind trap because you either will believe, and if you don't then you weren't sincere. It tricks your mind into believing.
JustAVessel,
Just
1. guided by truth, reason, justice, and fairness
Fair
1. free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice
Why would it be fair for all of us to burn in eternity forever? Because the Bible says so? A real nice God. And why would we have to be seperated forever? The answer I get is because God cannot be in the presence of sin, but then how was Jesus (God) able to be on the Earth?
Thanks for your replies.
I have two more questions...
What happens to aborted babies? Do they go to heaven or hell?
Also, do you think you would still be a Christian if you were born in a Muslim country where you are taught to hate Christians from the day you are born, where apostacy is punishable by death? Think about it. Think about the way you feel about Muslims now. You're probably say to yourself, "How could they believe in such a lie." I guarantee you that they are thinking the exact thing about you, probably worse too.
