1. Your daughter announces that she has lost her faith in God. How do you respond?
A) Express concern at her change of heart, but respect her decision.
B) Disown her completely, and make sure that all your family and friends never speak to her ever again.
C) Kill her.
A comes closest. This has happened to me by the way--and I responded with A, plus praying that God will reveal His true nature to my daughter and that she will open her mind and heart to Him.
2. A scientist publishes data that appears to refute your theory of creation. How do you respond?
A) Critically examine the new findings, and modify or even abandon your theory if necessary.
B) Acknowledge the new findings, maybe even admit that your theory is at fault, but continue with your theory unchanged.
C) If the new data does not agree with your beliefs, then it is nothing more than LIES from the DEVIL himself, and you will not listen to it.
A. But I have yet to see any science that DISproves the idea of intelligent design.
3. Your child is critically ill, and requires life-saving major surgery. Do you...
A) Take the child to hospital immediately, and pray that she recovers quickly.
B) Take the child to the local faith-healer (on TV if possible), as modern so-called medicine is not to be trusted.
C) Tuck the child into bed, and pray over her. If she dies, it is surely God's will.
A. Of course.
4. It is Sunday morning. What do you do?
A) Have breakfast, watch some inspirational religious programmes, maybe go to the park if it's a nice day.
B) Go to church in your best clothes. Take the children whether they want to go or not.
C) Get up at 5am and walk the streets, taking the Word Of God to people on their doorsteps. They will not be upset at being awakened so early, if they are given Good News.
B. Until the children are old enough to make their own decisions, as mine are now--22 and 24 years old.
5. It is Easter. How do you celebrate?
A) Buy the kids some Easter Eggs, watch "Jesus Christ, Superstar" on TV.
B) Go to church, and remember how Christ died for you.
C) Build a large wooden cross and nail yourself to it, so that others may see how Jesus suffered.
Definitely B, plus a family celebration which includes all of A except watching Jesus Christ Superstar which is inaccurate.
6. A local clinic is performing abortions. How do you respond?
A) Pray that the young girls make the right decision, one way or another.
B) Write an angry letter to the local newspaper, and Church newsletter. Maybe picket the clinic with a group of friends.
C) Shoot one of the doctors, while waving a banner saying "Thou shalt not kill"
A.
7. You have committed a minor sin. What do you do?
A) Be sure to mention it next time you go to confession.
B) Pray for several hours for forgiveness.
C) Get a friend to beat you with birch branches until you pass out from loss of blood.
D. Simply pray for forgiveness while thanking God for 1 John 1:9.
8. Your wife has asked for a new dress for her birthday. What do you get her?
A) Something expensive that shows off her best features.
B) Something plain and baggy, but comfortable.
C) A huge black dress that covers her from head to foot, leaving just a small slit so that she can see where she's going.
I don't have a wife, but Mike would do A if I asked for a new dress. Specifically, he would take me shopping and let me pick out my favorite.
9. It is Halloween. What do you do?
A) Have a Halloween party, let the kids dress up as monsters and ghosts. What fun!
B) It is a pagan ritual, and you will have nothing to do with it.
C) Walk the streets, shouting at foolish parents who are leaving their children open to demonic possession and Satan's influence.
D. Have a Halloween party, with a limit on how demonic a costume can get. Take the children trick or treating under tight supervision.
10. You are part of a team designing a new type of jet engine. How do you do your research?
A) Acquire as much information on the subject as you can, from all leading experts.
B) As A, but also pray for guidance and strength.
C) Read Genesis. All answers may be found in Genesis. Yes. All answers.
B.
11. A biology teacher at the local school is teaching the Theory of Evolution. Do you...
A) Feel relieved that good science is being taught, but make sure to teach your children about the spiritual world as well.
B) Request that the school gives equal time to Biblical Creationism as well.
C) Take your children out of that den of Satan. Teach them Genesis. Pray for the teacher, as he is going to burn in Hell for a loooong time.
D. Public school does what public school wants, but supplement the education at home.
12. Your favourite married TV Evangelist has been caught taking drugs with a prostitute. He tearfully appeals for forgiveness on his show. What do you do?
A) See through his scam, and hope he gets everything he deserves.
B) Pray that he has seen the error of his ways. Jesus forgives him, so why can't you?
C) Cry all night. Send him all your money. Write angry letters to the newspapers asking why he is being persecuted for his faith.
Combination of A and B.
13. Your church leader has predicted the imminent end of the world. What do you do?
A) Ignore him. You've heard it all before, and you know he gets a bit excitable.
B) Pray harder and try to strengthen your faith for the end-times ahead.
C) Sell your house and belongings. Store food and weapons. Drive into the hills so you can watch the Rapture coming while all the sinners perish in flames.
D. Change churches, since no respectable church leader would claim to know the date.
14. Amazing new pictures have been released from the Hubble Space Telescope. What is your reaction?
A) Marvel at the natural beauty of the universe.
B) Marvel at the awesome spectacle of God's Creation.
C) Marvel at the clear images of Jesus, Peter and Mary that God has painted using galaxies and nebulae. Annotate them accordingly and place them on a website so that others may see them also.
B.
15. You meet a stranger walking down the street, who asks you the time. What do you say to him/her?
A) "Let's see... It's a quarter past eleven. You're welcome."
B) "Quarter past eleven. Say, I'm on my way to church - would you care to come along?"
C) "It's nearly the time of the Second Coming! Kneel, friend, and pray with me for Christ Jesus is on His way!"
Probably A.
16. While out with your church friends, you meet a disabled person in a wheelchair. How do you react?
A) Treat them exactly as you would anyone else.
B) Tell them how brave they are, and that you'll pray for them.
C) Tip them out of the chair, and hold them down while praying and trying to drive out the demons that are inflicting them. Their cries of rage or fear are clear evidence of the devils fighting the exorcism.
A. And pray for them but don't make a production of it.
17. You are the pilot of a passenger aircraft. One of the engines fails at twenty thousand feet. What is your reaction?
A) Inform air-traffic control, and attempt to land at the nearest airfield.
B) Attempt an emergency landing. Praise your God for bringing you all to safety. A miracle!
C) Leave the controls and pray for help. If no help is forthcoming, pray that God will usher you all quickly into the next life.
A and B.
18. When asked, "Do you feel that you are able to truly think for yourself?", how do you reply?
A) "Of course. I make up my own mind, even if goes against my religious upbringing."
B) "I'll ask my church elders, and get back to you."
C) "I used to, but now I happily submit my will to my God. Life is so much better this way."
D. Submit my will to God, knowing that it and thinking for myself are not mutually exclusive.
19. Your teenage son is playing rock music in his room with some friends. What do you do?
A) Say "Hey, this has got a good beat!", and dance around, embarassing him forever.
B) Ask if he wouldn't rather play some good Inspirational music, or Gospel albums?
C) Call the church Elders around to exorcise the stereo system, and drive the demons out of the child before he loses his soul to Satan.
D. Ask him to turn it down so I can't hear it, if it bothers me.
20. How did you celebrate the year 2000?
A) Like every other New Year, you had a get-together with family and friends. Maybe a bit bigger than usual.
B) Even though you knew that the dates are a little arbitrary, you still chose to celebrate this as 2000 years since the birth of Christ.
C) Sold all your posessions, bought a one-way ticket to Jerusalem and an "I TOLD YOU SO!" T-Shirt, and prepared for the Rapture that was definitely, positively, certainly going to happen
this time. Rationalised away the non-appearance of Christ or the Rapture afterwards.
A.
21. You are told that your wife was seen walking in the street with another man. How do you respond?
A) What's the problem? I love my wife and trust her implicitly. No doubt it was a friend or colleague from work.
B) Confront her about it and find out the truth. If it was perfectly innocent, apologise for doubting her. If not, pray together for strength to overcome this.
C) Set fire to her and stone her to death as an adultress. Your family may also join in.
Again I don't have a wife, but if it were Mike with another woman I'd go A.
22. You meet someone who claims to be an atheist. How do you react to this strange notion?
A) Let him/her be. I believe what I believe, and others can believe what they like. I know the truth but it's a private matter.
B) Inform the person that God believes in them, even if they do not believe in God, and that you will pray for them.
C) Make it your life's purpose to convert them at all costs. Pester them incessantly and bring up the subject of their salvation at every opportunity.
A, elements of B, let my beliefs be known while not intruding on the other's free will, and pray for that person without making a production of it.
23. Bonus question for Christians : How do you pronounce the name of your Lord and Saviour in everyday conversation?
A) "Jesus"
B) "Jesus Christ" or "Christ Jesus"
C) "JEEEEEeeeeeh!-Zuss! Praisehisname-hallelujah!"
B. 
