How Important is Politics in your Relationship?

[JAM2b]

My boyfriend is very involved in politics. I'm not as involved as he is, but I keep informed about things as well as I can and sign petitions and have strong opinions about issues and candidates.

We enjoy the fact that we are politically compatible. But we are in a long distance relationship, and that means we live in different color states. Red vs Blue. To me that is not such a big deal. The way I see if is that if you live in a state that is not politically dominated the way you want, then you can work to change that and attempt to influence others. He says that he could never live in a state of the opposite color because he does not want his money or taxes supporting that.

So in order for us to live together after marriage, it will mean that I will have to move to a different state. Which I don't mind for myself because I don't feel loyal to any state or region. I'm fairly easy to be content, and I can find something about any place to be happy about. The trouble with that is I have sons. My oldest has developed a life where we are. They also want to remain reasonably close to where their father is so visits are easier and less expensive for travel. If it weren't for the issue of my sons, I'd move anywhere without question. This is the main thing that is holding us up in our relationship. I won't make my boys move right now.

So, all of this brings questions to my mind about if others allow politics to affect their relationships.

Would you have a relationship with someone who is politically incompatible?

Would you try to change someone's political view points or affiliation if you loved them, but not their political persuasion?

If you were politically compatible but the person you are in a relationship changed their mind and supported candidates or causes that you did not agree with, would that be grounds for ending the relationship for you?

If the person you were in a relationship with wanted you to move to a state that was "the other color" would you want to break up over that?

 

[dayhiker]

I'd want a partner that was able to be comfortable with talking about topics that we disagreed on. That we could agree to disagree when we saw things differently.
People change views over time. So its possible that even if a couple agrees when they marry that they wouldn't 20 or 40 yrs later.

 

[cutie cookie]

I think the most important thing would be your "base" values. I.e. your identity in Christ, we're all sinners but we're all forgiven by the blood of Christ, we should take up our crosses and follow Him, etc. From there, I think as unique individuals, we will always have different opinions on how things should be approached. Unfortunately, you two are completely opposites! I think the important thing would be able to respect each other's opinions as long as it doesn't contradict your core values. Talking about political subjects can really open your mind about things. It may not change your opinion about a certain issue, but at least you can understand the other side of the coin. If it is really becoming an issue though, I'd say maybe avoid the topic altogether and talk about other things. But again, I stress, it is not so much whether or not you are politically compatible as it is your core values. If you are finding that the other person is not compatible with your core values, then I would consider that a bit of an issue you need to discuss. Otherwise, there are pros and cons to both sides of everything!

 

[JAM2b]

Cutie Cookie, I think you misunderstood. We aren't complete opposites. We are very compatible politically. It is not an issue for us. The only thing we differ on politically is that he doesn't want to live in a state that is "the other color," and I'd live anywhere. We are currently waiting for the sake of my sons. We aren't having trouble, and I don't feel that I need advice. I didn't mean to come off that way.

I was just curious about how important others place politics in their relationship. That's all.

 

[redblue22]

Some parts of politics are really important. There are unacceptable values. I would wonder why she wanted to be with me if her politics were that different. I'm not really into trying to change people. If you ask, I might be willing to tell you what I believe. I would listen to what you believe if you wanted to share.

I might go to a state with switching colors, but not the opposite color; not on purpose.

 

[JAM2b]

My views are a mix. I don't fit solidly into one party or another. Neither does my boyfriend, but the "other party" is more against our views than the one we side with.