how important is a relationship with your mother?

dubbies · Sep 10, 2006

I love having a close relationship with my mom. She has taught me how to be a Godly women and is a role model to me. I hope when I marry that I can treat my man the way my mom has treated my dad and has raised my family.

Fangtastic · Oct 25, 2010

I miss her terribly. Since my last post my mom lost her life to cancer. You don't realize the impact of their love and acceptance really until they are taken from you.Love them and tell them! Moms are like our shell on earth.

TheTrash · Oct 27, 2010

It depends.

If a man is a mama's boy, that's a liability. Unless you want to live at home single for the rest of your life, in which case, knock yourself out.

If your parent is toxic, you have to cut them out. If you're a better person having them in your life, then there's no real line.

Yukikyo · Oct 27, 2010

It's extremly important. We have a great deal of trust in each other. I can talk to her about anything and she listens without judging.

I'd be lost without her.

Wirraway · Oct 27, 2010

mikewould said:
how important is a relationship with your mother?

no matter what you think now, I guarantee you'll miss her when she passes away.

ShadowsChild · Nov 25, 2010

I sit on the fence with this one. It totally depends on your own situation.
Take for instance me.

When I was younger my mother and I fought -all the time. I told her I hated her, made her cry....long and short of it was, I was a horrible daughter. BUT....everytime I said things to hurt her - I was hurting too. It came down to this...in my own life I was hurting so bad that I wanted someone I loved to hurt with me, so I didn't feel alone.

Now, my husband and his mother aren't close at all. They have tried and never will be. He says that even as a small child he didn't feel close to her.

Maybe some people just aren't genetically made to have close relationships. Or have just hurt themselves past the point of return.

(Oh, and FYI my mom and I are best friends now)

ponderingnwandering · Nov 25, 2010

She's my mom. We're not close, but i respect her greatly and try to honor her the best i can. It's not that we don't get along, we're just very different personality wise.

TanteBelle · Nov 26, 2010

mikewould said:
how important is a relationship with your mother?

'Honour your father and your mother for this is the first commandment with promise!'

That passage always perplexed me! First commandment with promise!!!?? What does that mean? I've come to realize and believe that if you can't honour your parents (no matter who they are or what they've done), you can not honour God! How can you not honour someone whom you can see and honour Someone whom you can't see? And we learn more about the prinicples of faith and principles of life from honouring our parents. Our parents are the people in life who will most likely do us the most hurt. There will be a wound that will stay there forever if we don't heal it and it will haunt us for life. So if we can't learn to honour those who are our natural parents, we won't learn how to honour God or other people whom we meet in life. I will never learn to be a good wife and mother if I don't first learn how to be a good daughter! In the same way, I don't believe that a man will learn to be a good father and husband if he first doesn't learn to be a good son. Not that he's expected to follow his parents examples but that he's to learn from their mistakes! And despite their mistakes, he learns to honour them and realizes that they are human too!

So, to answer the OP, my relationship with my Ma is essential to me being a positive person and influence on my husband and kids, should God wish for me to marry! I don't agree with my Ma on much at all, but I learn where she's done right, where she's gone wrong, and how I can better those wrongs!

TanteBelle · Nov 26, 2010

ShadowsChild said:
I sit on the fence with this one. It totally depends on your own situation.
Take for instance me.

When I was younger my mother and I fought -all the time. I told her I hated her, made her cry....long and short of it was, I was a horrible daughter. BUT....everytime I said things to hurt her - I was hurting too. It came down to this...in my own life I was hurting so bad that I wanted someone I loved to hurt with me, so I didn't feel alone.

Now, my husband and his mother aren't close at all. They have tried and never will be. He says that even as a small child he didn't feel close to her.

Maybe some people just aren't genetically made to have close relationships. Or have just hurt themselves past the point of return.

(Oh, and FYI my mom and I are best friends now)

I know exactly what that's like! I pushed everyone away from me when I was young! I never got on with anyone in my house and even now, I am still the odd ball! There's no such thing as 'genetically close' in my opinion. It comes down to who you are and what you are prepared to sacrifice in order to make a relationship great! I literally hated my Ma when I was a kid. Now, I love her to bits! Has our relationship changed in that we are suddenly on the same page? Absolutely not! LOL! She still doesn't understand me one bit and we still don't agree on much! But I've learned to honour her despite who she is or how much I may disagree with her and in return, I recieve respect from her and a peace within. So, in regard to your hubby and his Ma, I don't believe that they will never be able to get on with one another. It comes down to them!

When we hurt someone or are hurt by someone, there's a hole within us. And the only person who can fit and fill that hole is the person whom we're hurting for or who has hurt us! No one else can fit!

ImperialPhantom · Nov 27, 2010

To me, it's not important at all. There is no possible way to have that relationship without poisoning every single other relationship I have, including all of my other family (both her side and otherwise), stepfamily, wife and my soon-to-be-born daughter, and due to the toxicity of that relationship in the past, I choose to distance myself.

LadyOfMystery · Nov 28, 2010

First off - i know that every relationship with their parents is different. Some come from broken homes, some have a great relationship with one or both of the parents, I think it all depends on the situation, and the people involved.

Now for me personally having a relationship with my mom is very important. We're very close, shes one of my best friends and Ive never felt shy about telling her anything. Sure we've had fusses, I've disagreed with her plenty of times but usually she either sees where Im coming from, or I see where shes coming from. Or we just drop it all together. Having her in my life is what's kept me going.
Now for instance if I was dating a guy and he didnt have a good relationship with his parents/mom or whomever, it would really be up to him. I'm not him, and not in his situation, so he would have to handle it in his own ways. It's not important that an SO have a relationship with his mother.

JordanDaniel · Dec 10, 2010

Ever since I was born I would sleep right next to her in her bed..cuddling for her warmth as much as possible. She would alwayys scratch my back for an hour
straight.. For some reason I couldn't say"I love you" I just couldn't. I did
and do lover her though.I could never tell anyone "i love u". Even though I did. I would get a wholesum hug from her every thirty minutes. She was very godly...
She died from an enlarged heart when I was 10 years old... I was with my dad in a different city at the time. I never got the chance to tell her I love her. I'm 16 mow with scars on my left arm...I hate it when people take their mothers for granted.whatever though it's not my place to judge. My relation was very important...I miss you mom I hope I see you again one day..

SirKenny85 · Dec 11, 2010

To have a relationship with either parent is very important. Obviously you're not going to get along 100% of the time, but meh, same goes with anyone else in life.

waves16 · Jan 30, 2011

I got along a lot better with my mother when I moved away from home. We always argued, but only because we're too stubborn and alike. I consider my relationship with her to be extremely important. Friends come and go, but I know mom is the only one I can call every day, and who will always love me no matter what. Well, dad too

mina · Jan 30, 2011

My mother and I are very close. She is one of my best friends and I've learned so much from her.

MarisCrane · Jan 31, 2011

It depends on how sane one's mother is. If a relationship will cause unnessecary greif, it's best to keep the relationship casual, seeing them at funerals, holidays, weddings, etc.

If the relationship is mutually fulfilling and co-dependant, there is nothing wrong with having a more close, and social relationship.

I personally, still live at home and get along fine with my mother. We go to lunch and hang out, but we certainly aren't BFFs. We probably will never be the types to treat each other as equals, the way I would or do with a close girlfriend, but we're still close.

saturnne · Jan 31, 2011

I thought it would not be as important as I grow older and that it wouldn't matter anyway because I would become independent, but now I see that it's actually the opposite. My relationship with my mom has gotten richer over the past few years as I came of age and I value it dearly. She's become like a very close friend to me. The saying, "your parents become smarter as you grow older" has certainly held true for me; the more I grow, the more I can relate with her. We maintain a healthy, reciprocal relationship; I also give her advice and sometimes even admonish her for some things she knows she can improve on.

SplendidTree · Feb 10, 2011

I think it is very important and am glad to say God is doing things with my relationship with me and my mother. I used to not care as much and we had a very rocky past. I'm thrilled!

Ceta_cea · Mar 28, 2011

In my option a good relationship with your mother is very important. Most of the times your mother is your first role modell, isn't it?

I love my mother for the things she did and is still doing for my younger sister and me. My mum grew up in a very bad environment, everything bad you can imagine did happen to her. Unfortunately she never spoke about it, therefore my dad didn't know either. Thing went downhill a round three years ago, when my mum made a bad mistake. While trying to making up for it and failing, she started a therapy. During this therapy her memorys came rushing back and she started to talk with us. She gratually healed and started a very deep relationship with God and with my father. Eventhough I never had the feeling that my parents relationship wasn't an happy one (until that mistake), I see know how much better they are.

Looking back at the things she had do endure, my respect for her has no end. I can't imagine how I would have put off with it. Infact I would't be able to put off with it, period. I love my mum because she took great care to make sure that neither my sister or I ever have to suffer from the spells that were cast on her.

She grew into a very wise women, with a big love for God and her children. She takes great effort in showing us how much she values us and want to know whats going on in our life. She is still shy and don't like to be in places where many people are, but she is trying hard to get ride of her fears. Therefore she became such a good role modell for me.

Woah, I wrote an essay on the topic, so I better stop here.

SparkyMaddie · Apr 17, 2011

I need her. I don't always feel my Dad understands me. It's a plus in my life!

how important is a relationship with your mother?

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