How I lost a friend.. any good advices?

[Nikki07]

We were more like sisters, even closer, she meant a world to me, she always knew how to listen and she would always give me good and honest advice.. she was always there in times of need, through rough and sad days, through beautiful and sunny weeks, through thick and thin, almost through everything... and I really thought I could call her my friend. I believed she was the one worth of that atribute, I believed we couldn't fail or fall down ever... she understood me the best, our souls were compatible and united, she was a friend I thought would never find. I've let her in my heart like no one before, and I wasn't afraid... but suddenly, my dream fell in the water, after this stormy summer,... one guy entered her life, and my world slowly started to crash... we weren't so connected anymore, we haven't gone for coffee in weeks, I started to see her rarely than ever, our communication got worse and I felt like I don't know her anymore... And I had my times of trouble, I felt abandoned and sad, I striked with depression, but she wasn't there anymore to bring me the light... I was on my own. I've found it hard to fight against all these feelings inside of me, and I didn't know what to do. I hated him for taking her away from me and I hated her for letting that happen... I still don't understand it and months after I'm still fighting this battle and I'm still torn and bruised. All I wanted is a friend, a real friend, someone I could confide in all the time and who could do the same with me. My heart was always opened for her, but now everything went wrong... I thought friends mean something, I hoped somehow I could find someone whom I'll trust, and I thought that was her... I understand she needs to spend some time with that guy if they plan to get married one day, I understand they are in love and everything, but I don't and I won't ever understand why do they have to build their own little world and just keep everyone outside... why do they have to slaver one over each other all the time, like they're some stupid teens. I don't know how to explain my feelings... it's just hard. And that guy, her boyfriend, is also my friend, and before he hooked up with her he was in love with my other friend but she didn't return the feelings, and before that he had a crush on me, while I didn't on him. At first I was avoiding him, but later he said that everything is cool, that we can be just friends. So we hanged around sometime, emailed each other, discussed, had coffee's and I felt safe and nice, didn't think he would change his mind again. But he did, and he told me again that he still has some feelings for me, what made me angry and frustrated and I lost my trust in him and we stoped hanging around for some time. But later again he started to act normal again, he didn't bother me that much, we used to communicate over sms or mail, but evetually, when she came into his life and into his heart and into his mind he completely neglected me and never did he call me out for coffee as a friend, nor did he show some friend interest toward me or other people. Just him and her... in their own little world. And now i feel really betrayed and have no trust in anyone anymore, I hate hanging around with them or with others, I just love staying home in my little world as they are in their own. And I still fight depression and some of my other own issues, but it seems like no one cares... I am all alone.

 

[texastig]

We were more like sisters, even closer, she meant a world to me, she always knew how to listen and she would always give me good and honest advice.. she was always there in times of need, through rough and sad days, through beautiful and sunny weeks, through thick and thin, almost through everything... and I really thought I could call her my friend. I believed she was the one worth of that atribute, I believed we couldn't fail or fall down ever... she understood me the best, our souls were compatible and united, she was a friend I thought would never find. I've let her in my heart like no one before, and I wasn't afraid... but suddenly, my dream fell in the water, after this stormy summer,... one guy entered her life, and my world slowly started to crash... we weren't so connected anymore, we haven't gone for coffee in weeks, I started to see her rarely than ever, our communication got worse and I felt like I don't know her anymore... And I had my times of trouble, I felt abandoned and sad, I striked with depression, but she wasn't there anymore to bring me the light... I was on my own. I've found it hard to fight against all these feelings inside of me, and I didn't know what to do. I hated him for taking her away from me and I hated her for letting that happen... I still don't understand it and months after I'm still fighting this battle and I'm still torn and bruised. All I wanted is a friend, a real friend, someone I could confide in all the time and who could do the same with me. My heart was always opened for her, but now everything went wrong... I thought friends mean something, I hoped somehow I could find someone whom I'll trust, and I thought that was her... I understand she needs to spend some time with that guy if they plan to get married one day, I understand they are in love and everything, but I don't and I won't ever understand why do they have to build their own little world and just keep everyone outside... why do they have to slaver one over each other all the time, like they're some stupid teens. I don't know how to explain my feelings... it's just hard. And that guy, her boyfriend, is also my friend, and before he hooked up with her he was in love with my other friend but she didn't return the feelings, and before that he had a crush on me, while I didn't on him. At first I was avoiding him, but later he said that everything is cool, that we can be just friends. So we hanged around sometime, emailed each other, discussed, had coffee's and I felt safe and nice, didn't think he would change his mind again. But he did, and he told me again that he still has some feelings for me, what made me angry and frustrated and I lost my trust in him and we stoped hanging around for some time. But later again he started to act normal again, he didn't bother me that much, we used to communicate over sms or mail, but evetually, when she came into his life and into his heart and into his mind he completely neglected me and never did he call me out for coffee as a friend, nor did he show some friend interest toward me or other people. Just him and her... in their own little world. And now i feel really betrayed and have no trust in anyone anymore, I hate hanging around with them or with others, I just love staying home in my little world as they are in their own. And I still fight depression and some of my other own issues, but it seems like no one cares... I am all alone.

Your not alone. I believe God is wanting you to start trusting Him and having a relationship like you had with your friend with Him.
The reality is this: People will fail you. But God will not fail you. We will fail God but He will remain faithful to us.
Thanks,
TT

 

[BrotherAtArms]

Well the most repeated yet true thing for to say is that Jesus is one who sticks closer than a brother, He will never leave you nor forsake you. He loves you, and He sees what you are going through... as the Bible says, His eye is on the sparrow...

But more than that is to say I understand what it means to lose friends... both me and my wife have had friends just move to other states, disconnect themselves from us, and so forth. We aren't hated by them, just things happen and people become distant... I guess something I've come to realize is that it's all part of becoming an adult... we have lives where our paths separate. I know what it means to have a heart broken, and I know what it means to be depressed, believe me, I was once a suicidal guy and I wanted to die.
Jesus turned everything around for me though, He saved me from my hurt several years ago because though I wanted to die, I wanted to live even more.
Sadly, friends can come and go. I don't know if you grew up with this girl you are talking about, but I believe God has a plan for your life, and He will bring someone into your life that you can be even closer to than this girl. But also He may bring her back into your life, she just needed that time with her guy and then everything will straighten out. One thing that you can count on to be true is that God will always provide your needs.
If you are hurting, He brings relief.
If you are sad, He brings joy and comfort.
If you are lonely, He brings you counsel.
If you are lost, He provides a way.

Look to God, and I believe soon that He will get you through what you're going through. There's always light at the end of any dark tunnel we find ourselves walking through, there is a blessing on the other side of 'through'.

 

[Nikki07]

Yes, I know what you mean, that is truth... but it's hard sometimes to cope without any true friends in your life.

 

[BrotherAtArms]

Now that I think about it, my sister went through something like this... she still found new friends... hope is never lost.

I want to give you some advice. Take it or leave, it's your choice.
You know that you feel alone, and maybe you have some free time on your hands... maybe a lot. So I think what you should do is take this time, get into a place where you can be just you and God. Have a Bible in hand, some nice music going, maybe a cup of ice cream, just have some time quiet time with Him. Tell Him what's going on, how you feel and ask Him to take the pain away and fill the void in your life.
Start by reading Psalm 42.

 

[musical]

Nikki

I so feel the pain that you are going through. If it is possible to access old posts from last year look for the thread under general struggles under Has anyone every been fooled. If you are unable to access the old post by Rosebush than I will give you a summary of my experience. I'd like to know under what circumstances you became friends? Did you turn to her because you were unhappy. If so maybe she was trying to get you through a bad time in your life. That is what happened to me. Let me tell you from experience in experiencing a very deep hurt. You can get past it. I wouldn't try to make your friend feel quilty, or keep trying to get her to spend more time with you. If she wants to get together let her make the first move. If you act hurt, etc you may drive her away. Been there, done that. Years ago I stiffled my "friend" because I was too needy. It took me a long time, but I finally figured out the person was my mentor, not my friend. If I were you, I would get involved with other people, and possibly seek out some way to help others in the community or church. Don't focus on this friendship. Trust me, I've been there. It only made the hurt worse. Don't depend on one person to make you happy. Rosebush--BEEN THERE AND SURVIVED

 

[Johnnz]

Sadly, good friends can move away sometime. That always hurts. But probably will happen again sometime. Quite commonly a romance will spell the end of a singles relationship, leaving one party rather upset.

You must move on, not withdraw into yourself, and keep contact with others.

John
NZ