How fast can it happen?!

[looksgood]

A friend of mine is now married one year after meeting this girl. My parents had the same happen. I am told it is the going speed these days.

I always thought 3 years was a good time till marriage. But I guess I am wrong. How fast do you think it can happen and should happen. And can you really be ready for life with each other after only 1 year?

 

[momof3blessings]

Sure you can. I married my husband 6 months after meeting him. We will celebrate 17 years together in January. Sometimes if you wait to long it can be a problem. My sister was with a guy 5 years before she married him. They split up on their fist anniversary. Sometimes you just know it's right. It just depends on the person. I have SIL who married her husband 4 months after meeting him they will be married 15 yrs in Oct. It can work.

 

[canehdianhotstuff]

i see no problem with it.

 

[looksgood]

Hmmm...guess i am just too slow lol.

 

[msjones21]

It depends on how comfortable you both feel and God's timing. Not everyone can be a speed dater. The seasons of courtship and engagement can be beautiful times of Christian growth and mutual discovery. Marriage is wonderful, please don't get me wrong, but in the season of courtship everything is so new and exciting. I, personally, don't want to breeze through it in a rush to the altar. I look forward to being engaged and married, but I'm looking forward to deepening the bond with the man I care about through a season of prayerful courtship.

I think that if you both know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you want to be married and it's God's will and everything is in order (i.e., living arrangements have been made, financial needs can be met, all of the big issues have been discussed, parents approve, etc.) then there is no set time limit on how short or how long the season of courtship should last. Some couples drag it way out because of fear and that's never a good thing. Relationships are a huge risk, an exercise in faith. Sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zones in order to do God's will.

 

[tulc]

I knew my wife (of 28 yrs now) exactly 3 months from the day I met her. Not everyone is called to get married that fast.
tulc

 

[Yalith]

I knew my husband of 4 years about 2 months before we were engaged. But we were engaged for over 1 year and half before we were married. I don't think we would have waited so long if it weren't for financial reasons. We were both very young (I was 17 by three days when we were engaged, and 18 and 1/2 when we were married, he was 18 and 20).

I think it has worked out wonderfully for the both of us. I don't know if I'd reccomend it to everybody. To each his own.

 

[Ampmonster]

i just got engaged 7 months after meeting.
....sometimes you just know...

 

[canehdianhotstuff]

yup it isnt meant for everyone.

 

[PegasusOnFire]

I married my husband after 10 years of friendship. We were engaged a week after our first date, 2 years ago. We were married only 4.5 weeks ago. To me, it dosen't matter how long you have known the person as to when you get engaged then married, it is how God works it out for you. My husband and I needed that 10 years to know who we were. We met in Jr. High, and many thought that we would get married right out of high school, but we were not dating eachother, so that wasn't going to happen. We needed to find ourselves first, I found myself in college, he in the military. God then opened our eyes to see that we were made for eachother to love for always. But it was through lots of prayer and bible study. You have to remember that we need to keep God's time above our own time.

 

[Warrior Poet]

Awwww Peg I love you.

Warrior Poet

 

[mina]

I guess it's really up to God and what he's telling the both of you.

My parents knew each other since the 3rd grade. For me marriage is such a big step I would have to feel really really sure and really really comfortable so I'd lean towards a long time to get to know them and taking it slow, but who knows what God has for me.

I knew of teachers at my high school (they were married to each other) and their story was that they had known each other two weeks and then decided to elope. And everyone was shocked, because they are both so prim and proper. But hey 35 years later and they are still going strong and in love.

 

[Megan]

...on persons and circumstances... I really think one should not make "rules" on this... What is right for me (when involved with one person) might not be right for you.

prayers
Megan

 

[elm1976]

Everyone is different. I knew my hubbie for just under 12months when we got engaged and were married 9months later. We didn't want to wait to long as we had made the decision to marry and wanted to continue into the next phase of our lives together, growing and learning together. We have now been married 5 yrs and have two beautiful boys and are still young enough to enjoy the rest of our lives together.

 

[stubbornkelly]

My cousin was married a little more than a year after beginning to date his now wife. They met and started dating in the summer of 02 and were married in September of 03. My best friend was married almost a year to the day of starting to date her husband (married for four and a half years now). And my parents married four months after they met (married for 28 1/2 years).

A year isn't too soon, I don't think. If anything, I think some people drag it out too long. Unless you're really young (by which I mean late teens), three and four years seems excessive to me. You generally know within a few weeks if it's just not going to work, a few months to know that it will. Maybe a little longer to be really sure, but I think most people just know (not immediately, but sooner rather than later).

I know "they" say it takes 9 - 12 months to plan a wedding, but even a big fancy wedding doesn't have to take a year to plan. My cousin's wedding was planned in about 5 months, and it was super fancy schmancy and with about 300 guests.

Are you ever really ready for life together? In some ways, sure, but really, if you wait till you're absolutely ready, you'll never do it.

I actually think the average time increased during the latter half 20th century, and has only recently come around to being back to "normal." Ever hear of the phrase "one year from first date to wedding date?" Pretty common back in the day. I just think more and more young couples are saying, "we know now, so why wait?" All this, "I know we're going to get married, just not for a few years" is pretty ridiculous, IMNSHO. If you know you're going to get married, get married already! Many of the couples I know in the three and four year stage of their relationships have long been saying they know they're going to get married, and have known for a long time. Why the wait?

Honestly, if I'd been dating someone for a year (not married within a year, mind, but dating for a year), and we weren't engaged or close to it, I'd wonder what we were doing still dating.

 

[LN]

i got engaged to my husband six months after we started dating. Nine months after that we were married.

At the time my roommate and good friend was excited and happy for me but said that she personally couldn't imagine getting married so soon after meeting somone.

About a year later she met someone she worked with and was engaged six months after that.

Sometimes its hard to judge unless you are the person who has met your soulmate yourself.

The only thing about marrying so quickly is that if you are going to have a larger wedding at a hotel or a reception hall you have to plan it at least a year in advance.

LN

 

[Jamida]

I totally disliked my husband for the first 3-4 years of knowing him but then after an odd serious of God-changing events, I started to love him . Once we started dating, we got engaged after 6 mo. and married 6 mo. later. A total 1 yr. from the first date. BUT!! We knew each other through all the "bad" first!


Anyway, I don't think there's a cut and dry mould, but I do think you should make sure you date long enough to get past the emotional high and into a more solid, standard friendship of love. Whether it takes 3 mon. to do that or 3 years, it's variable.

AND! I am a firm believer of short engagements. There's no point in stretching it out once you know you're getting married. 6mo. to a 1 yr. engagement, I'd suggest. No longer than a year.

My 2 cents worth!

 

[looksgood]

Actualy I am happy to hear all of this. Especialy that last one jamida. It let me know that 2 people can go from not careing about each other, to a loving marriage in such a fast time. It really shows what power there is in love.

I personaly have yet to be in such a relationship. I come to this forum because I know one day I will and I wanted to listen to those who have gone before me. Cause to tell the truth I never even dated anyone. But God has shown me that if I desire this I must do my part. Thus I will start activly seeking.

I just wondered how quickly you can go from one point to the next. Because the way I looked at it, I would be dead before I was even in a close relationship. I thought it took a few months just to get close.

 

[freespirit2001]

This is curious about dating a twin....(They both live next door to each other too...) I met them both working together as electricians, where my sister-in-law and I worked together...One twin (my future fiance) had an Amish beard ( I didn't particulary care for) and the other twin had a good looking mustache---both were attractive successful men.....and country musicians...I later dated the twin with the amish beard---who I fell in love with---he has the dearest kindest heart of both twins...and became engaged 8 months later...(He shaved the beard off---much to my delight) and I shouldn't compare both twins...there's something about my fiance's eyes and heart that is the more endearing to me (?) We're still engaged 7 years later...not to rush things...but even if we elope tomorrow---it would be the same love---I'm so grateful to God for the gift of love and grace He gave me with my fiance....

His twin however became married about four months after meeting his wife...and the problems with that relationship affected our life for a time....but we had to severe the ties with the other twins wife...(she's feel mutual for all others involved)

Fast lane marriages could have a moral to the story...

I personally feel all contracts, including the marriage contract should be kept up in heaven under God's watch and care...the ceremony on this earth is a wonderful blessing...if its meant to be...its meant to be....

 

[DaveKerwin]

I waited one year to propose. In a year you learn a lot, if you try.