Sometimes when I read the bible or have a moment where I feel very connected to God I will, sometime after that, have a strong and persistant negative self-talk session which takes me into a downward spiral towards despair. I actually think this negative self talk is generated from evil that is trying to turn me away from God and the strength of it is from the previous event where I was connecting with God. I don't know if what I wrote made any sense to anyone who reads it. I have actually been affected by it and have put off reading the bible so I wouldn't be subjected to the downward spiral. I have tried to employ just continuing to pray to God when I realize, on some level, what is happening.