How do your walks match up?

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

I would venture to say I'm the stronger Christian of both of us. God is the first person I turn to in everything I'm deciding on (that is SERIOUS decision making, not just 'will I wear the white or the pink skirt today' IYKWIM), whereas B will just weigh up all the options in his head, and choose the most beneficial.

God would be as equal as his job, socialising, me, etc etc. He isn't the centre of everything he does, he's just another part of his life. He loves God, loves going to Church, reading the Bible, all that kind of stuff, but he doesn't do it ALL THE TIME - just if it gets encouraged. Kind of confusing - as I'd think someone like this wouldn't have Christian behaviour, but he does! Acts EXACTLY the same as ANY of my Christian friends (and does what they would too - God-based behaviour), but just doesn't bring God into the equation. Oh yeah - he has invited God into his life, and would be an example of Christ to anyone he came in contact with.

What is your walk and your bf's walk like?

We haven't had any major dramas because of the way he views God - still have great prayer time, read the bible every night, go to church, and have a WONDERFUL relationship (that I would call God-based, judging by our behaviour to each other and others involved in the relationship), and he never stops us doing "Godstuff" - in fact he highly encourages it. I don't think we have a problem because of where he places God (it doesn't affect our relationship badly at all).

Anyway enough about me - how do your spiritual walks match up?

Sasch

 

[Princess Pea]

Sascha - I've seen other posts you've made about this topic, although I can't find them back at the moment. You seem truly concerned that your boyfriend have a strong walk with God, and that's commendable. You SHOULD want to be with a man who takes his faith seriously, and at least as seriously as you do!

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I've always been uneasy with the term "strong Christian." Although our words and actions do indicate our priorities, I don't believe God wants us to go around judging other believers' walks with Him based on those externals. Remember that God is the only one who can see our hearts, and He alone knows how much of a "strong Christian" we really are. Remember the parable Jesus told about the Pharisee and the tax collector! Remember that all our strength comes from God, and we are strongest when we admit that we have no strength in ourselves. It's ALL Him!

Without knowing you, or your boyfriend, or the situation, I don't know exactly what advice to give. However, if a man I was dating (or even a female friend, for that matter) was constantly probing me, trying to measure the strength of my faith, admonishing me to do things differently, comparing my walk with God to his, and giving off the impression that only a "strong Christian" was good enough for him, I probably wouldn't react very well. I might get fed up and remind him that my relationship with God is, in the end, between God and me (even though it would and should affect my relationship with him.) I might start changing things in my life, but for the wrong reasons: trying to please my boyfriend instead of God. I might even be tempted to answer his questions dishonestly! I might get discouraged and end the relationship, deciding that I'd never be good enough for him and therefore was eventually going to get dumped anyway. I might get defensive and start looking for flaws in his life. I'd realize, even as I was doing them, that none of these things were very Christ-like behaviors, and then I'd realize that this relationship was leading me into un-Christlike behaviors ... and it just wouldn't be a good thing!

Your boyfriend, like you, and like me, and like EVERYONE who professes Jesus as Lord, is a work in progress, and no two of us are alike. We all have our own strengths, weaknesses, gifts, abilities, etc. Maybe he doesn't pray before he makes a big decision, but maybe God's just given him a special ability to make decisions? And maybe there's something similar in your life - like, maybe when you enter a funeral wake, he prays and you don't, but that's because you have a God-given ability for comforting people, and he has no such gift and therefor has absolutely no clue what to say to the widow. He prayed, and you didn't - does that mean he's a stronger Christian? Maybe I'm way off here, but do you see what I mean? In some ways, and at some times, it's possible he may be a "stronger Christian" than you are. In any case, I think it's probably rare for a couple to be on the same page all the time. Of course, if you're truly concerned that he's eventually going to pull you AWAY from God, you probably shouldn't be with him, but I think you know that already!

I'm sorry if that was all too rambly, or if I put words in your mouth that you never said. It just sounds like you've got a good guy there, and if I had one like that, I think I'd just enjoy being with him, doing "Godstuff" and regular stuff, while placing his spiritual life in God's hands. Don't expect him to be exactly like you; instead, realize that you can learn from each other. God will answer your prayers for guidance in this area, even if He takes His own time to do it!

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

Princess,

Thank you for your posting. I've been getting to that point through a lot of the advice I've gotten off of this site (thank you).

This is where I am at now...

My prayers go something like this ' 'God I don't understand it, but I love him and I love you, and I know you understand it. Open my eyes to see him and his failings as you do. Show me how I can be more of the person you want me to be, and if it is your will, let my behaviour be an example to him as to why we should ACTIVELY put God first, and not just seem like we do'.

I know I have a wonderful man here - and I know God has B's spiritual walk on HIS time, and not mine - as in, just cos I SEEM to be more 'prolific' in the God Stuff, does not mean that B doesn't want it as well. I have felt in some ways I may have shut down B's ability to search out God on his own, because I have gone on (and on and on and on!) about it in the past.

I feel like some may have felt I've 'put it away into a darkened corner', but until I see it affecting our relationship in a negative way (ie pulling us away from God, putting each other above God, etc etc), I don't REALLY think I have THAT big of a problem, and harping on it, rather than praying about it and leaving it up to God, is pulling us away from each other, more than encouraging each other in our walks with God. B has been one of the few guys in my life who regularly encourages me to 'tune in' to God, so I have HEAPS to be thankful for, right there.

I'm keeping on praying for God to open my eyes to how he sees B, and for an accepting of B in the phase of Christianity he's in now. I realised I was focussing on his shortcomings so as to run away from mine. Now, I'm more focussed on what God wants from ME, and ensuring that being with B isn't hindering me from that - and it's not. I've discussed where I feel God is calling me to with my life, and according to B, this does not hamper our continuing on with 'eventual marriage' discussions (not saying he's proposed, but we are approaching our relationship with marriage the focus)...

Thank you, Princess, you reminded me of the promise I made to God earlier this week (ie focus on MY walk, and ensuring that being with B is not hampering that and leaving B and his walk in God's hands and to keep asking God to show me B the way He sees B)...

Sasch

 

[Glorianna]

Sascha Fitzpatrick

I'm praying for you.

 

[Princess Pea]

Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders, Sascha! I think you're going to be OK!

 

[Glorianna]

Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders, Sascha! I think you're going to be OK!

I would definitely agree with this. I've read a lot of her posts and can definitely see that!

 

[MaryAlaina]

I'm in a bit of a different situation. I met and married my hubby while in a period of rebellion (was a Christian, but not living that way). I have since returned to the Lord in a big way. Hubby will go to church with me and "supposedly" made a commitment to the Lord, but his behavior doesn't show any difference. He does absolutely nothing to grow in his spiritual walk. It frustrates me alot, but I know that it is really between him and God, and the times I try to ask questions and/or push the issue, it ends up being very negative and destructive.

I know God was patient with me until I was really ready to submit to Him as Savior AND Lord, and I guess that is what He is doing with hubby now. Your guy make not be all you wish he was, but he is certainly doing a lot more in that direction than many of our husbands. I would be thankful for what he does do, pray for him, and not push him. You wouldn't want to do anything to turn him the other way.

 

[Glorianna]

Wow, that must be hard MaryAlaina.

 

[MaryAlaina]

Yeah, it is. But I just continue to pray for him and trust God. I am trying to be a good example too, so that he will be drawn closer to God by that. He did agree to do a Bible study one on one with me-- we bought the books, and are supposed to each do a lesson during the week, and then go through it together over the weekend. I did mine already, so I'm just hoping he follows through and does his!

 

[Glorianna]

Yeah, it is. But I just continue to pray for him and trust God. I am trying to be a good example too, so that he will be drawn closer to God by that. He did agree to do a Bible study one on one with me-- we bought the books, and are supposed to each do a lesson during the week, and then go through it together over the weekend. I did mine already, so I'm just hoping he follows through and does his!

Definitely. Stay strong in the Lord. I'm praying for you.

 

[MaryAlaina]

Thanks!

 

[Lioness816]

Princess,

Thank you for your posting. I've been getting to that point through a lot of the advice I've gotten off of this site (thank you).

This is where I am at now...

My prayers go something like this ' 'God I don't understand it, but I love him and I love you, and I know you understand it. Open my eyes to see him and his failings as you do. Show me how I can be more of the person you want me to be, and if it is your will, let my behaviour be an example to him as to why we should ACTIVELY put God first, and not just seem like we do'.

I know I have a wonderful man here - and I know God has B's spiritual walk on HIS time, and not mine - as in, just cos I SEEM to be more 'prolific' in the God Stuff, does not mean that B doesn't want it as well. I have felt in some ways I may have shut down B's ability to search out God on his own, because I have gone on (and on and on and on!) about it in the past.

I feel like some may have felt I've 'put it away into a darkened corner', but until I see it affecting our relationship in a negative way (ie pulling us away from God, putting each other above God, etc etc), I don't REALLY think I have THAT big of a problem, and harping on it, rather than praying about it and leaving it up to God, is pulling us away from each other, more than encouraging each other in our walks with God. B has been one of the few guys in my life who regularly encourages me to 'tune in' to God, so I have HEAPS to be thankful for, right there.

I'm keeping on praying for God to open my eyes to how he sees B, and for an accepting of B in the phase of Christianity he's in now. I realised I was focussing on his shortcomings so as to run away from mine. Now, I'm more focussed on what God wants from ME, and ensuring that being with B isn't hindering me from that - and it's not. I've discussed where I feel God is calling me to with my life, and according to B, this does not hamper our continuing on with 'eventual marriage' discussions (not saying he's proposed, but we are approaching our relationship with marriage the focus)...

Thank you, Princess, you reminded me of the promise I made to God earlier this week (ie focus on MY walk, and ensuring that being with B is not hampering that and leaving B and his walk in God's hands and to keep asking God to show me B the way He sees B)...

Sasch

Hey Sascha,

You know how God always gives us "just what we need, just when we need it?" Well, I don't usually venture over here, but I did tonight and read through this thread. So much like me and my Michael. I know I talked about him some before in other threads. Well, in my heart I really gave it to God. I am at peace with it. I want us both to be happy. I want M to walk his walk with God as God wants it to be and for my walk with God to be as God wants Our's to be. I am really okay with that now. Of course, should we need to part paths, I would be sad, very sad, but I would be okay and I would know it was part of God's plan. M had surgery today and I needed to get some things for when he comes home to help him around the house. On my way to the store and in the store, this is what I had been thinking of. Weird...

 

[New Creation]

Thanks for the reminder folks about giving it to God. Princess Pea, that was a great post and bang on the money. I needed that.

My fiance is the one who led me to God and I was truly ravenous for my first year. I'm not as desperate for God as I was then and that is a tragedy really.

I'm always wishing Lloyd and I could do more praying and reading the bible together, but have I been praying for it? DUHHHHHHHHH

Ladies, keep us in your prayers, if you don't mind. Thanks.

 

[Glorianna]

My fiance is the one who led me to God and I was truly ravenous for my first year. I'm not as desperate for God as I was then and that is a tragedy really.

Yeah, most, if not all, Christians' walks are like this. Like a roller coaster with its highs and lows.

Ladies, keep us in your prayers, if you don't mind. Thanks.

I will definitely be praying for you.