How do you know if your loved?

[Alineko]

I just had a big fight with my boyfriend. His idea of love is buying and doing things. Mine is by affection and the little things. We're not entirely different people but were not entirely alike.

I'm confused and distorted by what society says how people should act when then love you.

What do you as christians and God think that love is? How do you really know if someone loves you?

 

[f U z ! o N]

you need to read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. i went through the same thing with my girlfriend until we figured out each other's love languages. He obviously shows love by gifts and acts of service while you do not feel loved by those things. yours must be physical touch. trust me GO BUY THAT BOOK ASAP. it will help you. how do you know if someone loves you? well they are interested in your life, want to be with you, show you affection and put your needs above their needs. they also love you unconditionally. thats love.

 

[Carri20]

That's such a tough question...mostly because infatuation and lust often disguise themselves as love and it can be very difficult to tell where one of those things end and the next begins. But to me, real love is something that doesn't come naturally like lust and infatuation. It's not an emotion but a conscious choice we make on a day-to-day basis. Love means cooking for your SO even when you don't feel like it and doing it with a smile on your face. It means skipping lunch at work so you can spend your last $5 on a birthday card for them instead, even though you skipped breakfast too and are starving. It means that if you found yourself in a life or death situation, you would readily die so that they might live. That's the best definition I can come up with on the spur of the moment.

I'm sorry you and your boyfriend had an argument.. I hope you're able to patch things up quickly, and maybe when you've both had a chance to mend you can sit down and try to figure out a long-term solution. Anyway best wishes & God bless!

 

[TravellingGrace]

I was going to suggest the 5 love languages, but somebody else beat me too it plus Blue Impulse is right about the biblical definition of love.

 

[Boss_BlueAngels]

Your ultimate definition of love:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

(1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

~ ~

That's the best answer you could ever get.

 

[sweetdarlin2u]

Your ultimate definition of love:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

(1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

That's the best answer you could ever get.

AMEN!!!!!

I also agree w/ the recommendations on "The Five Love Languages" - it helps you see people and how they express love totally differently.

in Christ,
danielle b

 

[Living4Him03]

Fights are pretty normal...but yes, read the love languages book or take a quiz and make sure each of you knows the other's love language. I think that it's very important to know how a person feels loved and receives love. Maybe your boyfriend just doesn't know what makes you feel loved. Sometimes you just have to tell him.

The best example of love is God's love for us, in sending Christ to die for us, so that we can live. Christ sets the example for what love is.

 

[mikeymae]

Greetings!

You know a person is in love with you when is willing to lay down his life for you. (Jesus said this, "No greater love than a man has this, that he lay down his life for his friends.) In other words, it is no longer about the person (selfishness) it is about the other person and vice versa. If a person can choose to honor you rather than himself/herself he loves you. Granted that is not the end, love is not a one time thing it must be cultivated daily and be willing to grow daily. True love is death to selfishness. Of course, the fruits of love are founded in 1Corinthians 13:4-8.

Regards,

Michael

 

[The Princess Bride]

you need to read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. i went through the same thing with my girlfriend until we figured out each other's love languages. He obviously shows love by gifts and acts of service while you do not feel loved by those things. yours must be physical touch. trust me GO BUY THAT BOOK ASAP. it will help you. how do you know if someone loves you? well they are interested in your life, want to be with you, show you affection and put your needs above their needs. they also love you unconditionally. thats love.

I AGREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just last night, my fiance and I were talking about love languages. SO I find it quite interesting this was brought up.

Here's the link to a quiz based on the book by Gary Chapman.
http://selectsmart.com/FREE/select.php?client=lovelanguages

While there is no definate way to tell what someone's love language is, it is very helpful to have a good idea.

 

[symphonyb]

When you do not question it.It's that direct in your heart.If you're questioning it,maybe there's reasons to look deeper.Maybe not.