How do you handle groups?

[Sonshine]

Here's the struggle I'm having right now:

I had joined a womens group from our church several months ago. During many discussions I felt like none of the women understood what it was like living with a non believer. They always talked about disucussing things with their husbands and praying together and reading the bible together, etc, etc. No only did I feel like an outsider, I also found myself being jealous.

I quit the group about a month ago and can't say that I'm sad I did. They had a big Christmas party where they invited all the husbands. I would have never been able to get my husband to go and don't know if I would have wanted to.

I am thinking about trying another group that I know has a couple of divorced women in it. I just want to be more prepared to handle the 'Christian couple' talk. Any suggestions?

 

[WashedClean]

Here's the struggle I'm having right now:

I had joined a womens group from our church several months ago. During many discussions I felt like none of the women understood what it was like living with a non believer. They always talked about disucussing things with their husbands and praying together and reading the bible together, etc, etc. No only did I feel like an outsider, I also found myself being jealous.

I quit the group about a month ago and can't say that I'm sad I did. They had a big Christmas party where they invited all the husbands. I would have never been able to get my husband to go and don't know if I would have wanted to.

I am thinking about trying another group that I know has a couple of divorced women in it. I just want to be more prepared to handle the 'Christian couple' talk. Any suggestions?

Hi Sonshine,

Sorry I didn't reply sooner, I haven't been on in several days.

I can totally relate to what you're saying. I've been in the same situation numerous times. It's hard not to be envious. Sometimes I think other women don't know how blessed they are, especially if they have always been in a Christian marriage.

I have a couple of suggestions: I don't know how large your church is, but you could ask your pastor if there are other women in similar circumstances that you could start your own group. Also, pray for God to lead you to women who are in your situation and also pray for Him to soften your heart or take away your feelings of jealousy or resentment toward other Christian couples. Every week when I go to church, I'm all alone and hardly anyone talks to me. There are many couples around me, but I just ignore it. I remind myself that it's not about me, it's about worshipping the Lord.
I also would suggest having your pastor(s) pray for your husband. We have a large board at our church and I know the Deacons have prayed for my hubby.

I'm not saying this is your case, but I am fully to blame for being in an unequally yoked marriage. We were both unbelievers when we married and then I became a Christian. I still believe my husband and I are meant to be together and we have a strong marriage. But it's still a struggle at times. But the bottom line is that I got myself into this situation (again, not saying you did). This keeps me from feeling sorry for myself. God is faithful, just keep your eyes focused on Him!

God Bless You Sonshine!

WashedClean

 

[snoopy2]

Hi Sonshine,

I, too, can totally relate to your situation. I have felt a bit like a fish out of water for most of my Christian life when in fellowship groups. I even initiated a group some years ago at my last church for women in our position, but although it was good to get together and pray for our spouses, there wasn't the honest and open sharing that I was hoping for in order to support each other through the difficulties - maybe I'm just a whiner!!

I think it is impossible for someone to appreciate the complexities and difficulties of living with a non-christian because it affects so many areas. Likewise, it would be very difficult for us to truly appreciate all the problems associated with other life situations, for example, being the wife of a pastor or someone with a huge responsibility within the church. That's why this forum is so welcome because it is a place to come and be open and honest with people who are going through the same thing. But, I do think that churches, in general, could be more supportive of their members in our situation by being committed to praying for the unbeliever, for the sake of the member and any children - not to mention the spouse him/herself! It's great, WashedClean, that you're getting that support.

Don't give up on the fellowship, Sonshine. I allowed it to get to me and gradually ended up not going to church and drifting for five years, which didn't do me or my children any good at all. Don't allow your own sense of discomfort to rob you of having fellowship. That wouldn't be what God wants.

I'm praying for you.

 

[Sonshine]

Thanks for the replies. I'm feeling better about it today, some days it gets to me more than others.

I am going to try a new group this week and if that doesn't work I'll just keep trying or possibly talk to the leader to see about starting a new group. (I hesitate to do that because he might suggest that I lead it).

There are lots of wonderful, supportive people in our church. It has helped me to get involved in serving for many reasons - Its a reminder to keep my eyes looking to God. It is also a good way to get to know people in the church. My husband doesn't understand why I would spend my 'free' time at the church volunteering.

God Bless You and you are in my prayers,

 

[HMM1]

I am fortunate to have other ladies in my Bible studies that can relate. ( I don't think it's fortunate that they are unequally yoked but that we can support each other) However when I first started going to the studies I did not know that there were others in my position. I found that when I opened up and explained how things were in my house and asked for prayer then other people did too! And even the equally yoked women would bring up marital issues they needed support on and everyone was able to open up a bit more. That's what I experienced. I will keep you in my prayers!

Blessings and peace~
Heather