How Do You Get Over Heartbreak?

[gunblayde]

I have been single for two months now. My ex-boyfriend of two years cheated on me and left me for a 16 year old girl. This is possibly the hardest experience I've ever had to go through. I thought he loved me, he said he wanted to marry me, spend the rest of his life with me, but I guess that was a lie.

I have nightmares about the situation often. I dream that I do everthing to try to win him back, and nothing works, he still rejects me in the end. I can't get it out of my mind, I replay the situation over and over in my mind everyday. I have been trying to keep my head high and go on with my life, but the depression always lingers.

I pray to God to give my heart peace, and it helps, but I still feel this angry bitterness that I can't seem to get rid of. I feel that this boy has stolen my life, heart, and virginity away from me. I don't feel worthy to ever be with another man.

I know God has forgiven me, but I just can't get over the pain and forgive those who had hurt me.

Please pray for me. If any of you have had a similar situation, please tell me how you got through it. I am having such a hard time.

 

[HumbleBee]

I know God has forgiven me, but I just can't get over the pain and forgive those who had hurt me.

gunb...Saying in all humility, God forgiving you is not somtin to take lightly, especially for premarital sex, a rebellious choice you made. Your bf 'promising' he gonna marry you is no excuse. So to say that you know God forgave you, yet you can't forgive......this shows you do not truly understand Christ's sacrifice on the Cross, nor the gravity of sin, especially sexual sin.

I have nightmares about the situation often. I dream that I do everthing to try to win him back, and nothing works, he still rejects me in the end. I can't get it out of my mind, I replay the situation over and over in my mind everyday.

You are experiencing the affects of betrayal. Jesus certainly knows how you feel! You were promised a 'lifetime commitment' yet instead got a one night stand. These nightmares also may be you trying to justify your misdeeds. If you won him back you may think that would make your sexual sin acceptable.

I have been trying to keep my head high and go on with my life, but the depression always lingers. I pray to God to give my heart peace, and it helps, but I still feel this angry bitterness that I can't seem to get rid of. I feel that this boy has stolen my life, heart, and virginity away from me.

You are depressed because you have sinned and given somtin very precious, and irreplaceable, away to swine. You may be angry with yourself and with the boy for seducing you. You are also experiencing Divine discipline that is not meant to be pleasant but grievous to teach you not to make the same mistakes in the future. The bad choices in your present will negatively impact your future, hence the importance of being obedient!

I don't feel worthy to ever be with another man.

That thought is from the devil to discourage you even further. Christ in you and His love demonstrated for you on the Cross, makes you worthy! He will send you a Christian hubby that accepts you unconditionally...someone who will love you for who you are in the present. Your past will not matter to them.

Psalm 34:18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 103:10-14 He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him; for He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust.

Isaiah 53:3-6 He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces He was despised, and we esteemed Him not. Surely He took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered Him stricken by God, smitten by Him, and afflicted. But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to His own way; and the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Galatians 5:4, 7-10 You who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace...You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. "A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough." I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion will pay the penalty, whoever he may be.

Galatians 6:7-8 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A [woman] reaps what [she] sows. The one who sows to please [her] sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

2 Timothy 2:22 Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

Hebrews 12:11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Psalm 25:7 Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to Your love remember me, for You are good, O LORD.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD...

 

[JPPT1974]

Praying to the Lord as well as leaning on Him to help me not to hold any more grudges as well as to give it all to Him.

 

[bostonlass]

I thought he loved me, he said he wanted to marry me, spend the rest of his life with me, but I guess that was a lie.

I'm so very sorry for your loss, sweetie. You know there is a possibility that he really did mean all that he said at the time that he said it and that it wasn't a lie. After all , this was not a one night stand...it lasted two years, right? Unfortunately, at such a young and tender age, the truth is that more often than not we don't know then what real love is and whether or not we've found "the one" that we will marry. It looks like he had his doubts and now he's on to someone else. Be thankful that this did not progress into marriage since he obviously was not a strong one in the morality department. The man is supposed to lead his family to heaven.....since the only place he led you to was the bedroom, would you really want him to lead the rest of your family once you had children? What type of strength and example is that for your children to follow?

I pray to God to give my heart peace, and it helps, but I still feel this angry bitterness that I can't seem to get rid of. I feel that this boy has stolen my life, heart, and virginity away from me. I don't feel worthy to ever be with another man.
I know God has forgiven me, but I just can't get over the pain and forgive those who had hurt me.

First of all, keep praying to God. When I am truly angry at someone I pray *for* them. I know it sounds absurd but believe me it works!!! It's hard and I'm doing it through gritted teeth at first but it's incredible the power that it has. For example, there is this one woman at work that is one of the people I report to. She used to get under my skin like nobody's business!!! Well I started praying that God shine His love into her and did that each night for about a week and now I'm free from my resentment! I view her as a sick person, not as a mean person and that helps me out a lot. View him as spiritually sick and it may help you.

You have to at some point be honest with yourself and see where you were at fault here, to be able to truly get over this situation. You say he stole your virginity and your heart, but unless he raped you, which I don't think he did but correct me if I'm wrong, you actually gave him these things. Do you think that some of this anger is at yourself perhaps for giving away something that you truly wanted to hold until your wedding day? When you get to the point that you can admit that........then I think the light will shine through and you'll be able to forgive yourself. Jesus has already forgiven you, if you truly know in your heart that you have done something to displease Him. You have to forgive yourself. Only then will you be able to move on.

You are worthy of a good Christian man, but first you need to heal and pray and allow yourself to be forgiven. Once you get your self-worth back, then your light will shine from within and the strength of Jesus and the fellowship of this board and of your church will be there for you to help you to be ever vigilant in choosing a man worthy of YOU. This man obviously is not worthy of the gift you have given him, and because he is so low as to have taken a gift so precious from someone, why on earth would you want to waste another moment of your precious time on someone like that? Certainly this is not someone you would want to be the father of your children.....is he really the example you want your child to follow? You are so very young and have so much time to spend on yourself, strengthening your faith in God and making yourself ready for someone who will lead you to a path of truth instead down the path that you have been.

God bless,

bridget