Big hugs to you Madison.
I'm sorry for all the things you are going through. I want to tell you right now that you are so loved by God and by others. I'm not going to repost what others have written, but I would like to share that loneliness is not only experienced by those alone, but even by those married or who have someone.
There are sometimes things that we go through that we don't feel anyone else understands. God understands. You are so gorgeous in God's eyes. Although I have not seen you, it doesn't matter. You are so beautiful. Do not doubt that.
My husband shared with me quite awhile back when I was bashing myself for how I look. He said Starr Jones, a beautiful, big, black woman portrays herself as sexy, beautiful, lovely, vivacious. This got me to thinking that maybe the world portrays only women who are thin beautiful, but that is soooo wrong. Beauty comes in many shapes, sizes, forms. My dh also shared with me that no one can make me think I'm ugly unless I felt that way already. I got so angry at him, but later told him he was right. I allowed what others thought of me to define who I was rather than how God saw me....as one of His chosen and beloved children.
There was a time when eating alone, sitting alone, being alone bothered me. But, as I learned to love who I was as a person, good and not so good stuff, it no longer bothered me that I was alone.
What I have found attractive about other people was not how they looked, rather how they felt about themselves....if they felt good and positive, that energy eminated from them. If they felt negative, unhappy...that energy also eminated from them.
Have you ever been around a really miserable, unhappy person? Don't they sort of suck the like out of you? And, have you been around someone who is happy, fun, enthusiastic? Don't you have more energy around them and feel good around them?
You can choose what kind of person you want to be. Things take time, but you can sometimes determine how much time things take. God is willing to work with you. Make a decision every time a negative thought comes into your head to claim a promise of God's or something God says He loves about you. Memorize those verses. Keep them close to your heart.
Over Thanksgiving my dh, kids, and I visit my aunt & uncle. My daughter asked me if I could have some pumpkin pie. I replied No. My daughter asked why. My uncle quickly piped in, "You don't want to look like your mom, do you?" My daughter said, "I want to look as pretty as Mommy." I see myself as this beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, curvaceous, intelligent, creative, fun woman. The initial reaction in my mind was to say something mean. However, is that what God would've wanted? No. Since I was a guest in their home. I said nothing. I just gave my daughter a hug, told her I loved her, and discounted the mean remark by my uncle. I felt pity on him that he felt he had to say something mean to me. He's done this my whole life every time I visit. It used to hurt me because I let it. Now, I blow it off. I know who I am in Christ, and I will NOT let him tell me otherwise.
Let things go, be thankful, pray, give yourself a break and some time, learn to love who you are no matter where you are in life. You are loved and so beautiful.
Blessings,
Doris
I'm sorry I have never exparenced that and hope I want have too but in the mean time just keep busy take your mind off and just concintrate on the one thing that matters, God lean on him and let him guide you I'm sure he will bring peace and happiness to you in his time not ours 
They are very valid, God-given relationships, though, and I know God can greatly bless us through them.
