How do you explain ADHD to those who do not understand?

[dusky_tresses]

This is starting to be a touchy point between well, I'll say "Joe" and I. Joe tells me he was convinced that when he was little, at least from age 10 and younger, he had ADHD. He remembers behaving very obnoxiously and badly and being very hyperactive.

Whenever I try to explain to him that ADHD is not so simple, and that many children NEED medication just to help them get through a daily routine, he scoffs and says that even though he believes he had ADHD as a child, his parents did not acknowledge it or give him medication, and Joe says he is glad for that.

I try and try to explain to him that many children with ADHD need a lot of help and just can't "outgrow" ADHD but it's as if what I say goes in one ear and out the other. I've even had a professor who works as a clinical psychiatrist say that medication is the most effective way to treat ADHD symptoms but he acts like medication is an evil or something.

Even though I don't have ADHD, I've worked with children who do and it's starting to bother me with the way he thinks about this. It can't just be oversimplified into a "I know I was a bad kid, but my parents treated me normal, and I'm okay now". I've read of cases where children, yes children have committed suicide or done self-injurious things to themselves because their parents did not know how to or did not treat their ADHD.

I know not all children with ADHD need that much help but for those who do, a lot of people like to pass judgement such as Joe. I'm not even sure he even had ADHD as a child, he makes it sound like he was just a naughty class clown, yet continues to criticize those who choose to acknowledge ADHD and treat it using medicines, therapy, or personal aids.

How do I explain this without seeming defensive or insulting him? Because I've gotten to the point where I am getting defensive on behalf of the children I've worked with.

 

[pharmacy_student]

When I learnt about this I struggled a bit at uni. I see far too many drugs for ADHD being prescribed nowadays, it is like any naughty kid is given Ritalin or Dex for their disorder. Whilst this still remains a problem to me, I have come to believe that there are genuine examples of children suffering from this disorder.

Explain it this way. How come kids before drug therapy for ADHD would get in trouble all the time and fail school but after drug therapy goto the top of their class? There are many examples of this around the world. I would have to agree that the current drugs used in practice as less than desirable, and many psycho-behavioural therapies are looking very promising - so check them out if you need some help.

Also explain to him that when he was a kid there wasn't the medical knowledge there is today. There are simply some kids to don't concentrate or behave because they are mentally incapable of it, they cannot make themselves sit there and be still and listen.

I hope that helps you.
Jason

 

[dusky_tresses]

When I learnt about this I struggled a bit at uni. I see far too many drugs for ADHD being prescribed nowadays, it is like any naughty kid is given Ritalin or Dex for their disorder. Whilst this still remains a problem to me, I have come to believe that there are genuine examples of children suffering from this disorder.

Explain it this way. How come kids before drug therapy for ADHD would get in trouble all the time and fail school but after drug therapy goto the top of their class? There are many examples of this around the world. I would have to agree that the current drugs used in practice as less than desirable, and many psycho-behavioural therapies are looking very promising - so check them out if you need some help.

Also explain to him that when he was a kid there wasn't the medical knowledge there is today. There are simply some kids to don't concentrate or behave because they are mentally incapable of it, they cannot make themselves sit there and be still and listen.

I hope that helps you.
Jason

That's true-- back in the 80's (when he was little) there wasn't a lot of knowledge regarding ADHD and how to treat it, much less what it's full symptoms were. I too agree many children are overprescribed, but parents are also changing that too. The child I work with no longer takes a lot of medicine-- his parents are using behavioral therapy in conjunction with medication, and he only takes one type of medication each day.

 

[Frangible]

Unfortunately due to scientologist propaganda it may be difficult to get people to accept it as a real condition. I just try telling it as it is... numbing, paralyzing mental fog. But I usually never bring it up, I think it's probably going to be an uncomfortable topic most of the time.

 

[InTheGarden]

Browneyes,
Is "Joe" someone you spend a lot of time with? Does he work with children? I guess I just wonder because it seems that he is really set on his opinion and he's not going to change it anytime soon, no matter what you tell him. I know it's frustrating, but maybe it's time to drop the subject with him for awhile. Just a thought.
Thanks though for standing up for those of us with ADHD!

 

[Lisa0315]

This is starting to be a touchy point between well, I'll say "Joe" and I. Joe tells me he was convinced that when he was little, at least from age 10 and younger, he had ADHD. He remembers behaving very obnoxiously and badly and being very hyperactive.

Whenever I try to explain to him that ADHD is not so simple, and that many children NEED medication just to help them get through a daily routine, he scoffs and says that even though he believes he had ADHD as a child, his parents did not acknowledge it or give him medication, and Joe says he is glad for that.

I try and try to explain to him that many children with ADHD need a lot of help and just can't "outgrow" ADHD but it's as if what I say goes in one ear and out the other. I've even had a professor who works as a clinical psychiatrist say that medication is the most effective way to treat ADHD symptoms but he acts like medication is an evil or something.

Even though I don't have ADHD, I've worked with children who do and it's starting to bother me with the way he thinks about this. It can't just be oversimplified into a "I know I was a bad kid, but my parents treated me normal, and I'm okay now". I've read of cases where children, yes children have committed suicide or done self-injurious things to themselves because their parents did not know how to or did not treat their ADHD.

I know not all children with ADHD need that much help but for those who do, a lot of people like to pass judgement such as Joe. I'm not even sure he even had ADHD as a child, he makes it sound like he was just a naughty class clown, yet continues to criticize those who choose to acknowledge ADHD and treat it using medicines, therapy, or personal aids.

How do I explain this without seeming defensive or insulting him? Because I've gotten to the point where I am getting defensive on behalf of the children I've worked with.

My son was diagnosed and treated for ADHD until recently. Apparently, it was a misdiagnosis. He actually has Asperger's Syndrome. I do not know how children are diagnosed today for ADHD, but it was just a lot of questionaires when my son was diagnosed. I think they need to do a full psychological evaluation to rule out something more serious like Asperger's. My son has sufferered tremendously because of it.

Anyway, I will tell you how I explained ADHD to my son when he was around six or so. I said:

"You know when you go outside and you run around at recess. It's like a light switch that you turn on an off. You go outside and you yell and run and play very loudly and it's a lot of fun. But then, the teacher says it's time to go in and all the kids line back up. At that point, you turn your light switch off, and you become quiet and follow the inside rules. Well, some kids have trouble turning their light switch off, so they take medicine to help them learn how. Someday, you will be able to switch your light on and off without any help at all."

I don't know if that helps in your particular situation. The things I have read about ADHD is that it is a short-circuit in the synapses in the brain. It is generally found in very intelligent children and because their brain is firing rapidly, for some reason, the signals get crossed or do not fire correctly to begin with.

Seriously, if you haven't already, have your child fully evaluated by an experienced psychologist especially if the medicine doesn't quite work as well as you were told that it would.

 

[dusky_tresses]

I don't have my own child but I work with children and no Joe, does not work with children.

What he has a problem understanding is how his parents never bothered to acknowledge that he might have had a problem, but why some parents need to give their kids medicine and acknowledge that they have problems.

I have told him that if the "bad child" syndrome would have escalated to worse behaviors, it would have been neglectful for his parents to stand by and do nothing.

He just feels that many child behaviors are being overdiagnosed. I would have to disagree because he hasnt seen the extent of the behaviors.

 

[katallasso]

What I see as a big problem is people juming to prescription drugs when often DMAE and DMAE combinations made especially for ADD and ADHD work very well for many children with no side effects and are very cost effective.

 

[dusky_tresses]

For the parents of children with ADHD, what were some of the behaviors that made you think that perhaps, something wasn't right? how were you able to differentiate that between your child just being "bad"?

 

[Lisa0315]

For the parents of children with ADHD, what were some of the behaviors that made you think that perhaps, something wasn't right? how were you able to differentiate that between your child just being "bad"?

My son may have been misdiagnosed. I do not know if he has AS in addition to ADHD or if he was always just AS. However, I saw no behavior that made me think ADHD while he was home, and he stayed at home with me until he started school. His teachers however experienced many problems. His kindergarten teacher allowed him to run around the room all day because as she put it, he absorbed more running around than the other kids did sitting still all day. He was a target for teasing by the next year which he responded to in a very aggressive way. He developed twitches and funny mannerisms likely from the Ritlin which he was put on right before 2nd grade. His language was very delayed compared to other kids his age, but he was reading at middle school level by second grade, like a high school senior by the time he was in the third grade. One kid asked my son's teacher a question and the teacher did not know the answer. The little girl replied, "That's okay. I'll just ask ...(fill in my son's name)." His teachers complained that he refused to read fiction. He only wanted to read non-fiction. His math skills were such that they gave him problems that MBA's where I work struggled with the answers. (Logic problems) He has a Mensa IQ. He had lots of difficulty making and keeping friends. (Oh, Lord, the list goes on and on).

So, yes, I knew there were some major problems with my child. They did not become evident until he started school, and the schools are ill equipped to handle these kinds of problems. They would rather dope a kid than really work with them. However, my son had SOME outstanding teachers. There have been teachers who have sat and cried with me over my son. That is how much they cared about him. I speak mainly of the uncaring system of our public schools, not teachers themselves. We have been very fortunate in the teachers that my son has had. I do think there was a rush to diagnosis and I wish to God that I had dug deeper with him.

He is now 15, has no desire to drive yet, is very delayed socially and emotionally, but he has come a long, long way.

 

[smooze]

a constant sugar high (dont add sugar) oops too late EVERYBODY rUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnnn

 

[dusky_tresses]

But how do you as a parent make the distinguish between "bad" behavior and "bad" abnormal behavior? after all my friend said he was a really bad kid who could barely sit still...but that was back then in the 80's where this information wasn't available yet.

So how do you know how this difference is apparent? I know that a lot of parents need to have their children get bran scans and testing done to determine a biological disposition.

I'm just having a hard time explaining to him, along with other people who choose to adopt the crazy scientology view that diet and exercise can help a kid whose nervous system has a hard time understanding proprioception.

 

[Lisa0315]

But how do you as a parent make the distinguish between "bad" behavior and "bad" abnormal behavior? after all my friend said he was a really bad kid who could barely sit still...but that was back then in the 80's where this information wasn't available yet.

So how do you know how this difference is apparent? I know that a lot of parents need to have their children get bran scans and testing done to determine a biological disposition.

I'm just having a hard time explaining to him, along with other people who choose to adopt the crazy scientology view that diet and exercise can help a kid whose nervous system has a hard time understanding proprioception.

You are asking the un-answerable question, I am afraid. My husband and I walked a fine line all the time trying to decide if our son could "help" it or not. Blurting out private things...unable to speak in a coherant manner. The blurting out was lightly punished. The inability to speak in a normal conversation was not. ADHD, or any other childhood disorder is very, very difficult to discipline, but then, you run the risk of them never learning to correct the behavior.

My advice to you is to get your kid into a psychologist office for FAMILY counseling. It is not so much the kid that has to change as much as the rest of the family needs to adapt and react correctly. That was my experience anyway.

 

[smooze]

What happens when the kid grows up? Then he ends up shunned by all the "normies" I say my wife StarrSDA loves me unconditionally. Oh what is this thread about again. I was just being arrogant again sorry. I thought this thread was about me. Im so vain I thought you all came online just to see if I posted something clever LOL. anyways behavious is now a quiet riot more or less. I need MEds any suggestions?

 

[dusky_tresses]

I don't have my own child, I just work with one who has ADHD. I just needed to have this thread to try to get SOME idea of how to explain this to other people.

My friend just believes that parents and psychologists and psychiatrists are overdiagnosing what he believes to be "normal childhood behavior". Whether it be leaping off the couch to take a nose-dive onto the floor, or "meltdowns" consisting of tantrums and emotional upheaval, or doing extremely physical things (literally bouncing off walls), he considers this to be "normal behavior". I'm not sure a 3-5 year old should exhibiting this sort of behavior though....

 

[Lisa0315]

I don't have my own child, I just work with one who has ADHD. I just needed to have this thread to try to get SOME idea of how to explain this to other people.

My friend just believes that parents and psychologists and psychiatrists are overdiagnosing what he believes to be "normal childhood behavior". Whether it be leaping off the couch to take a nose-dive onto the floor, or "meltdowns" consisting of tantrums and emotional upheaval, or doing extremely physical things (literally bouncing off walls), he considers this to be "normal behavior". I'm not sure a 3-5 year old should exhibiting this sort of behavior though....

I am not sure that I disagree with this. I wish that children of that age could be kids. We seem to start them younger and younger making them be little adults. It is a lot of pressure. I wish they could just be kids for a while longer.

What if our society was geared around the social and emotional needs of children rather than the educational system? For example, why not let them go to school and teach them social and emotional things from age 5 to 12, then, they start their education. They graduate high school at age 24, go to college, and enter the work force at age 28. In the time of Christ, you did not reach the age of majority until age 30, I think. I may have that wrong, but I think I remember reading that at some point. Why do we rush our kids to adulthood?

 

[dusky_tresses]

I am not sure that I disagree with this. I wish that children of that age could be kids. We seem to start them younger and younger making them be little adults. It is a lot of pressure. I wish they could just be kids for a while longer.

What if our society was geared around the social and emotional needs of children rather than the educational system? For example, why not let them go to school and teach them social and emotional things from age 5 to 12, then, they start their education. They graduate high school at age 24, go to college, and enter the work force at age 28. In the time of Christ, you did not reach the age of majority until age 30, I think. I may have that wrong, but I think I remember reading that at some point. Why do we rush our kids to adulthood?

That's interesting you say that...I've heard a lot of people say that in Biblical times, you were an adult at age 13-14...after all, it was normal for 15 and 16 year olds to be married, and you had to act like an adult. Personally I think it would be a horrible mistake to have people graduate high school at age 24-- people are immature at age 24 as it is!!! how many parents seriously want a 24 year old child still living at home? I don't think modern times is forcing people to rush into adulthood, but adult topics are introduced at younger and younger ages...but that's a topic for an entirely different thread.

I guess with my last post what I was trying to get at was, sure there is normal childhood behavior-- but how do we determine when it has "crossed the line"? in one of my child development classes, we would watch case studies of children with ADHD and how at age 3 they were breaking puppies' paws because they were to rough with them, or almost jumping out windows because they wanted "a rush", or like a cousin of mine, who would literally bounce off walls until he was black and blue. How do we know that isn't normal behavior? does anyone have any scientific insight to this, say good journals they could point me to?

 

[Ave Maria]

I just simply tell them that I have an imbalance in my brain chemistry which causes me to have a low attention span and sometimes hyperactivity. I admit, though, that as an adult I have very little hyperactivity. Also, my doctors refuse to re-diagnose me with Adult ADHD even though I am certain I have it. I had severe ADHD as a child and I still suffer from the symptoms. My doctor tries to explain it as symptoms of depression. I personally disagree because I suffer from these symptoms even when I'm not depressed.

 

[dusky_tresses]

A lot of people still do not believe the whole chemical brain imbalances.

 

[Frangible]

I just simply tell them that I have an imbalance in my brain chemistry which causes me to have a low attention span and sometimes hyperactivity. I admit, though, that as an adult I have very little hyperactivity. Also, my doctors refuse to re-diagnose me with Adult ADHD even though I am certain I have it. I had severe ADHD as a child and I still suffer from the symptoms. My doctor tries to explain it as symptoms of depression. I personally disagree because I suffer from these symptoms even when I'm not depressed.

See if you can try Wellbutrin if you switch depression medication-- it's an anti-depressant that also has pretty good efficacy against ADD. It also doesn't lead to weight gain and lack of libido like SSRIs.