how do you ask for forgiveness from the ones you love when you have totally hurt and wounded them beyond repair. are they supposed to take the pain you dish out and just be a tackling dummy? i have truely wrestled with this for some time now. i was diagnosed as bipolar a short time ago, but how do you know when it started. there are telltale signs throughout my life but i guess the biggest sign was when i got divorced. i asked for the divorce and then half way through it after ranting and raving about how it was going to be i decided i didnt want it. i totally destroyed my wife who i believe had had enough already. i put my family in a situation that is unthinkable when i was ready to kick her out on the street with three kids. all the time im thinking im right when you could not have been more wrong. then i guess i go into what they call a manic state, cant work, cant eat, cant sleep, start to mumble to myself, wont talk to anybody, totally isolate myself from the world. i try to commit suicide on numerous occations trying to convince myself that that is the only way out. finally on the fourth attempt when i think i have it all figured out, the easiet way possible to get the job done i almost hurt someone else very dear to me and i still fail to do myself in. this is just the most horrible thing that i could imagine anyone going through. i wish this illness on nobody, not even my worst enemy. for some reason God has saved me from myself and has some purpose for me. i try to live day to day now but the guilt and sorrow i feel almost envelops me. i ask my self countless times how i have gotten here? i do not understand why this has happened to me as i already have been stricken by a stuttering problem my whole life and i really thought that that was bad enough but obviously not. now that i have started meds and let me tell you they really do work for anyone that has doubts, but the fact remains that the trail of destruction from before is long and deep. soon i will be going thru trial and trebulation for all that i have done, and really i cant believe in my heart that i became this person. i had a kind and giving heart at one time, would help everyone, was thesweet guy next door type. with my medicatin i feel like that person again but it just seems too late to start over again. i had a beautiful family and i let it all get away and now there will be a hole in mm heart forever. feel so sorry for my two young boys who love me very much but i cannot see and dont really know when i will be able to see them again. please take my advice if you read this and get help for yourself as soon as you can because you might destroy everything in your life as i did and it will be too late to fix it. please dont let yourself become the villian as i have become in the eyes of so many. i am truely sorry for all the pain and hurt i caused everyone in my life and maybe one day they will forgive me as i know God will. i will keep fighting as hard as i can because my children need a father who they can be proud of. i ask the Lord to give me the strength to get through the coming months so that i can change my life and maybe the lives of others as well. i thank you for listening to my ranting and hope that maybe this will be a help to someone else before they get to the point that i have gotten to. God bless everyone and especially the poor people stricken with this disease that have ended their lives. may God have mercy on their souls!!!!!!!!
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how do you ask for forgiveness
- Thread starter helpneedednow
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sometimes you may not be able to ask. with time you may get to tell them how you can see things now, and how you feel. with enough time between the bad times and the present, they may choose to forgive you even though you didnt ask.
praying for ya man. always.
praying for ya man. always.
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To forgive yourself and ask Jesus to work it in those others and keep saying thanks to Jesus until you know He is true and not the lovelessness you might still hear accusing you.
Simply love on for only He(The Truth of God's love) can heal this for you.
1 Cor 13:4-17
Love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.
Love never fails.
But where there are prophecies, they will cease;
where there are tongues, they will be stilled;
where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Simply love on for only He(The Truth of God's love) can heal this for you.
1 Cor 13:4-17
Love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.
Love never fails.
But where there are prophecies, they will cease;
where there are tongues, they will be stilled;
where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
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Sometimes God strikes us down so we become humble enough to do his bidding.
There is good in you and expressing that is how you show the people you love who you are.
There is good in you and expressing that is how you show the people you love who you are.
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ty, been reading genesis and thinking about reading matthew next. had to reread genesis because kng james version was too hard to understand. hav a niv now, its so much easier to comprehend. i will do that, i am trying to get closer to god through my church and sunday school class. i am truly blessed to be around such great people and they are such a great guidance to the lord. your reply is much appreciated as are all the others, it inspires me to do better. thanks
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You are most welcome my friend
Please keep looking for The Living Word in your heart beloved of The Lord - nowhere else will You find Him true as such
For when I found His loving truth within my heart, He gave me the ability to survive my suffering and brought me my Good Life back.
Peace
Gerry
(please heed love hearing truth within!)
John 14:15-21
"If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."
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