How do I take a stand against homosexuality when I'm a hypocrite?

grandvizier1006 said:

Another June has come and gone, and with it the recent designation of "Pride month", where all the corporations change their logos to rainbow colors to try and pander to gay people (and at this point most people aren't interested in fake pandering). But the month does serve as a time to be endlessly reminded by secular media that gay people exist and had enough social and market influence to make June "their month".

It all makes me uncomfortable, as someone who struggles with same-sex attractions and would be considered "bisexual" by their definition, but I don't like labels like that because they aren't what God wants for His people. I try to be a good Christian, but between my mental health issues and my porn addiction--sometimes I look for men, other times women, it switches sometimes, a phenomenon known as "bicycling" among bisexuals, and as much as I dislike the labelling it describes how I feel sometimes--I feel like I just need to be silent during all of this and not waste time engaging in the "cultural war" that we Christians essentially lost by running out of manpower.

At the same time, I don't want to give up my beliefs. I don't want them changed due to social pressure. And I certainly don't want my fickle, unreliable brain (I have OCD and Asperger's) to make me change my mind in a time of emotional vulnerability and weakness. I used to be very afraid of atheists finding out my attractions and trying to convince me to be as they've been taught the culture wants me to be. But I've been out in the world more and I realize now that people aren't so eager to do that.

That being said, I feel like I can't really admit to anyone, "I believe marriage is between a man and a woman, despite my same-sex attractions", and not be looked at as someone who's been brainwashed by right-wing evangelical fundamentalists. I have "evangelical" beliefs, but I'm not right-wing anymore and I'm certainly no fundamentalist. I just know what Scripture says and I try to follow Jesus' teachings on this issue. I've found more love from Jesus than I have from the world.

I don't know if there will ever come a time when I have to really admit to my beliefs, but if there does I want to be strong after someone who knows me well accuses me of hypocrisy due to my porn habits, even if I manage to get them under control. Maybe I care too much about my reputation, but I'd like to at least be a good witness.

Any advice and encouragement would be helpful. Also, homosexuality isn't allowed to be promoted here, but if you endorse homosexuality please don't private message me your "affirming" theology. I reject it. I don't want to be "affirmed", I'd rather be convicted and brought to repentance. My SSA is something I struggle with but it's not meant to be a part of me--it's just something that kind of happened based on complex circumstances.

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grandvizier1006 said:

Another June has come and gone, and with it the recent designation of "Pride month", where all the corporations change their logos to rainbow colors to try and pander to gay people (and at this point most people aren't interested in fake pandering). But the month does serve as a time to be endlessly reminded by secular media that gay people exist and had enough social and market influence to make June "their month".

It all makes me uncomfortable, as someone who struggles with same-sex attractions and would be considered "bisexual" by their definition, but I don't like labels like that because they aren't what God wants for His people. I try to be a good Christian, but between my mental health issues and my porn addiction--sometimes I look for men, other times women, it switches sometimes, a phenomenon known as "bicycling" among bisexuals, and as much as I dislike the labelling it describes how I feel sometimes--I feel like I just need to be silent during all of this and not waste time engaging in the "cultural war" that we Christians essentially lost by running out of manpower.

At the same time, I don't want to give up my beliefs. I don't want them changed due to social pressure. And I certainly don't want my fickle, unreliable brain (I have OCD and Asperger's) to make me change my mind in a time of emotional vulnerability and weakness. I used to be very afraid of atheists finding out my attractions and trying to convince me to be as they've been taught the culture wants me to be. But I've been out in the world more and I realize now that people aren't so eager to do that.

That being said, I feel like I can't really admit to anyone, "I believe marriage is between a man and a woman, despite my same-sex attractions", and not be looked at as someone who's been brainwashed by right-wing evangelical fundamentalists. I have "evangelical" beliefs, but I'm not right-wing anymore and I'm certainly no fundamentalist. I just know what Scripture says and I try to follow Jesus' teachings on this issue. I've found more love from Jesus than I have from the world.

I don't know if there will ever come a time when I have to really admit to my beliefs, but if there does I want to be strong after someone who knows me well accuses me of hypocrisy due to my porn habits, even if I manage to get them under control. Maybe I care too much about my reputation, but I'd like to at least be a good witness.

Any advice and encouragement would be helpful. Also, homosexuality isn't allowed to be promoted here, but if you endorse homosexuality please don't private message me your "affirming" theology. I reject it. I don't want to be "affirmed", I'd rather be convicted and brought to repentance. My SSA is something I struggle with but it's not meant to be a part of me--it's just something that kind of happened based on complex circumstances.

Click to expand...