How do I surrender?

I know this may sound like a weird question to ask, and I don't know if anyone can answer it for me, but it's worth a shot.

Having just become a new Christian, my relationship with the Lord is still on the learning scale, so there are alot of things I don't understand.

There is a girl in the Charistmatic Community I've joined who I have extremely strong feelings for, who returns those feelings as well. It's different to anything else I've ever experienced with any other girl, for a start we both want to make sure it's right with God, and that we are doing everything right. I have spoken to my pastoral advisor, or cover, and he has told me that I need to surrender it to God. How can I surrender it to God? Is there anyway that I'm supposed to do it, like is there a set structure or something that I'm supposed to follow?

Any help would be greatly appreciated

flybywire said:

I know this may sound like a weird question to ask, and I don't know if anyone can answer it for me, but it's worth a shot.

Having just become a new Christian, my relationship with the Lord is still on the learning scale, so there are alot of things I don't understand.

There is a girl in the Charistmatic Community I've joined who I have extremely strong feelings for, who returns those feelings as well. It's different to anything else I've ever experienced with any other girl, for a start we both want to make sure it's right with God, and that we are doing everything right. I have spoken to my pastoral advisor, or cover, and he has told me that I need to surrender it to God. How can I surrender it to God? Is there anyway that I'm supposed to do it, like is there a set structure or something that I'm supposed to follow?

Any help would be greatly appreciated

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Surrendering means to just give it over to the Lord. It means letting God lead you in all things, not just relationships, but in ALL things. You do not have to be formal with God. I talk to Him like He is my best friend. I tell Him all of my doubts and fears. Why not? I mean, He knows what is in my heart anyway, right? So, it just helps to verbalize it. So, surrendering means to purpose in your heart that you will give this relationship over to God and you want whatever He wants. It is an acknowledgement of His wisdom in what is best for you in your life.

Hope that helps.

Lisa

as a new christian, you'll be coming across a lot of christian jargon such as the one you mention. You need to inquire as to what someone means when they use this jargon in talking to you. If possible ask them to refer you to something in the bible regarding relationships and prayer.
When you pray, mention her in your prayers to God. Talk to God about how you feel about her, how things are going, your hopes etc. As time goes on in your life, continue to pray about your relationship with her.
By the way, you won't do everything right, because there is no right/perfect way as you are human. That's okay with God, and it should be okay with you and with her.

Letting go and letting God

Welcome to the family of God, brother, and congratulations on the best decision anyone could ever make. It is a wonderful life. Sometimes it seems difficult, but upon later reflection, we realize it was worth it all.

By surrender, your pastor may in addition mean the prayer of relinquishment (more jargon). This means that you need to tell God that you are willing to give her up at any time if it is His will. If you don't feel like that yet, then you need to ask God to give you the right attitude about the relationship, so that you will be able to pray that prayer.

Ps 37:4-6
4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, ....(NIV)
(As you focus mainly on God and desire to always follow His will, He will change your desires if they are not good for you.)

Prov 16:3-4
3 Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.
4 The LORD works out everything for his own ends-- (NIV)
(If you desire His will above all, God will give you the right plans, and they will work )out.

Prov 3:5-6
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
(NIV)

Letting go and letting God:
2 Cor 1:9
9 Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.
(NIV)

Christians realize they are not saved by their own works but by God, yet many of them, once they are saved, try to live the Christian life in their own strength. The more they rely on God and just cooperate with Him in His work, the more successful and mature their Christian walk will be. I have more to say about "letting go and letting God" if you want to know more. And I'll pray for you.

Aloha in Jesus, brother

You just do it. You pray about it and if God says yes, fine. If He says no, life will go on.

Jesus had to surrender Himself to God's will:

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." - Luke 22:42

That's all surrendering is. Instead of "take this cup from me" since you're not about to die on a cross, you could pray something about winning her hand.

Now a girl isn't worth sweating blood over. Relax. Since you're so new to the faith right now it may not even be a good idea for you to get a girlfriend.

flybywire said:

I know this may sound like a weird question to ask, and I don't know if anyone can answer it for me, but it's worth a shot.

Having just become a new Christian, my relationship with the Lord is still on the learning scale, so there are alot of things I don't understand.

There is a girl in the Charistmatic Community I've joined who I have extremely strong feelings for, who returns those feelings as well. It's different to anything else I've ever experienced with any other girl, for a start we both want to make sure it's right with God, and that we are doing everything right. I have spoken to my pastoral advisor, or cover, and he has told me that I need to surrender it to God. How can I surrender it to God? Is there anyway that I'm supposed to do it, like is there a set structure or something that I'm supposed to follow?

Any help would be greatly appreciated

Click to expand...

how does one surrender?


two different acts

romans 6 talks about reckoning yourself dead in the flesh and alive to Christ this is the defense to the flesh

romans 12 talks about presenting your body as a living sacrifice..
this is called Lordship... are you going to let God direct you in your life

romans is about the christian life and each step as we mature

amen - how did I forget those verses?

Rom 12:1-2
1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-- this is your spiritual act of worship.
2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-- his good, pleasing and perfect will.
(NIV)

A great Christian workbook on that is Springle's "Rapha's 12 step........."

aloha in Jesus, friend

Make sure that you pray about everything, give everything over to God daily. And Flyby, ABSTAIN.

NewCovenant said:

Make sure that you pray about everything, give everything over to God daily. And Flyby, ABSTAIN.

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When you say abstain do you mean that I have to abstain from sex (which I have been doing for the last 2 yrs now) or abstain from contact with her completely? (which is what i've been advised to do by some). I have tried to avoid her so God can work completely, however once I'd done that for about half a week I was torn inside, I couldn't not see her or even talk to her. We are able to talk about alot of things from our pasts, she hasn't had the greatest past being raped and abused, and she has had real trouble getting over it and not trying to blow my own trumpet, but she's told me that I have been a big help by allowing her to become close to a male again and trust them and feel safe around them.
She has helped me with some of my past, with me being an ex drug addict suffering from depression and low self esteem (which still affects me sometimes), and i just can't seem to stop thinking about her.

It is so great that you both want God's will before anything. With your pasts, you could both also get a lot of practical and spiritual help by joining a Christian recovery group. Many of the larger churches have them. (You don't have to attend that church). Basically, Christian recovery groups are simply practical discipleship in depth. And it helps tremendously with relationships. A great place for any Christian.

God bless you both, friend. I'll pray.
Aloha in Jesus

I was talking about abstaining from sex, hon, but it sounds like you're on the right path.

It means, letting go & letting God. Just trust God in ALL things & in all circumstances. He'll take good care of you. After all, He's the creator of the universe. I think He can take care of you.

I keep trying to give it up to God, however it still seems like I'm trying to do it all under my own steam, even when I talk to her I feel like I'm manipulating the situation. I don't want to manipulate and I try really hard not too seem like that, but the only way I can feel like I'm not is to stop talking to her, and if I did that then I believe I would go insane!

I know that surrendering means, (among other things,) that you give God the full opportunity to either prosper or dissolve the relationship. This does not mean that He will dissolve it, only that you esteem your relationship with Him to be of a higher priority than your relationship with another human being. Abraham was asked of God to give up his Isaac and in so doing proved to one and all where his priority relationship was. He was quickly allowed to keep his Isaac.