How do I stop the tears?

[trinitygrace]

I'm 12 weeks pregnant now and I am finding that I am more and more emotional. I get into arugments with my fiance and I end up crying. The arguments are usually trivial and my fiance brought up the fact that I usually cry over something everyday.

Is this normal? All I do is cry whenever I am upset. I have always been a little emotional but never this bad.

Are there things I can do to stop the tears and be strong? I certainly can't do this when the baby is here! Please help!

 

[sparassidae]

Your hormones change so much during pregnancy and the early weeks after the birth. Basically anything is normal

The first and third trimesters are usually the roughest for most symptoms, emotions included. Things usually settle down during the second trimester. Assure your fiance that it's normal and don't beat yourself up over it.

 

[RoseofLima]

We are strongest when we allow ourselves the freedom to be weak and imperfect. For God's power is made perfect in weakness

What you are experiencing is totally normal. If will also be like this for a few weeks after birth. YOur hormones are in total flux. Try to explain it to your fiance, or hand him a book on pregnancy to read. Try your best to learn to stay silent when you are tempted to pick an argument with your SO and discern if it is something you really need to address with him ,or if it is just your emotions.

 

[RedTulipMom]

its TOTALLY NORMAL at 12 wks pregnant. our hormones go whacky. I know for myself..the 1st trimester, the end of the 3rd trimester and for a month or two after baby is born..i cry ALOT..even over commercials. i get super emotional during those high hormone times. Dont feel bad or beat yourself up. Tell your hubby this is PART of being pregnant..and hopefully he will be sweet and supportive while you go through all this to carry HIS child.

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

i so understand what you mean, i've been very emotional this whole pregnancy so far, i'm 24wks and it kind of comes and goes in waves, unfortunately the last 2wks or so it has been worse again - no middle trimester relief for me . I don't remember being this bad with my daughter, but seriously - lilo and stitch 2 almost made me cry the other day :o

my only suggestions are to just take it easy when you're feeling like that, give yourself permission to relax a bit - take a hot shower or eat a block of chocolate, or just deep breaths. When you feel on a very short fuse with your fiance, i would try and do something else - away from him, to get your mind off it until it passes a bit and you have a better control of yourself before the disagreements get out of hand...

Hope that helps!

 

[trinitygrace]

Thanks guys for all of your advice. It really helps to know that what I am going through is normal.

The 2 things we ALWAYS fight about is finding our own place. We are currently living in his dad's home and i cannot imagine raising our child here because I hate this houseand the neighborhood is full of drugs. I want our own home with our own privacy and the house here is too big and too hard to keep clean. The floor in the kitchen is soft and is about to fall through and there are TONS of ants everywhere. I am disgusted living here. He keeps telling me I should be happy with what I have. I try but I simply cannot be happy living here. In addition to all of this, he has a dog that is really old. The dog loses control of his bladder and bowls at times and I have to clean it up. He sheds and it is so hard to keep the floors clean. It scares me to think the baby will have to live in this. He thinks his house is fine because it's the house he grew up in. I am just soo frustrated! I need prayer!

The second thing we fight about is our wedding date. I want to get married as soon as possible since we found out about the baby. But he wants to wait until after the baby is born. I told him I didn't want a fancy wedding. Just something in our church with a few friends and family. He think we should wait to have more money to spend on it. I want to do what pleases the Lord and getting married as soon as possible I feel would please him. That's what I get convicted of when I am praying or at church. My fiance doesn't seem to care about what I want though.

I feel like I am losing it. I hardly see him because he works second shift and I work first and when I am home alone at his house I sleep for hours. I am suffering from depression. I feel the house is sucking away all of my energy. When I do see my fiance all we do is fight about these two things and I end of cyring and cyring until I fall asleep. I use sleep to escape the pain. I just feel I cannot take it anymore. Please pray for me that this will pass! I was never this depressed or set on moving out until I got pregnant. My friend thinks its "nesting" but I'm getting it really early.

Please pray for me and post any advice you may have. God Bless you all!

 

[RedTulipMom]

i wish i had some advice, all i can offer you at the moment is prayers and big huggs. sorry your going through this.

 

[jgonz]

Why don't you get married in front of a judge now, and then do a nice wedding after the baby comes?

Hormones Always run high during pregnancy... but some pregnancies are more stressful or emotional than others. When I was pregnant with my boys, I was on top of things and made decisions instantly. When I was pregnant with my youngest girl, I was an emotional Disaster area. I couldn't even decide what to Wear and would cry Every morning looking at my clothes!

As far as where you're living... even though it's not a great neighborhood, you won't have to worry about your child interacting with the neighbors for awhile yet... Maybe it would be best to wait, save some money, and move after the baby comes? Moving while pregnant is no piece of cake...

 

[olafias]

You will be in my prayers! I hope things get easier for you!

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

They are very difficult and big problems that you two keep fighting over, and I would say that even discussing them in your current emotional state is probably making it all worse... I'm not saying it's your fault or that they shouldn't be discussed, but maybe you and your DF could just say something like *look, take a few months to pray about these things because they are really getting to me, and we'll talk about it again when i'm 18wks*, just giving some space to each others frustrations instead of picking at them may work wonders! This can be especially true for men (mine is EXACTLY like that sometimes), if they feel nagged then they retreat, if you give them some space and time to think it through for themselves then you can often come to a compromise...
Nesting can happen at anytime and also in waves, i think the hormones (again) just make you want to be in a clean environment sometimes... I would try to keep one area (maybe your bedroom?) as clean as possible so you can retreat, and the rest just do the minimal...

Have you got someone IRL that you can talk to, a close friend or mentor at church, it may help just to vent your emotions a bit on someone outside of the situation...
I hope it all improves for you and you can enjoy your pregnancy...

 

[chillybean]

Hugs to you! I don't think its "nesting" but legitimate concerns that you have regarding your life, husband, safety and child. You are a perfectly normal woman and mother to be. I also would want what you want... and it is soooo absolutely difficult to be in arguments with your man. I would pray hard that he come to know exactly what the Lord wants and be sensitive to your feelings because you are not wrong in having them. I pray that your depression be lifted soon... please don't blame yourself and feel that you are somehow not doing things right because you feel depressed. Jesus understands you (He made you!)and will not let you go ever.
Hugs, chillybean