How do I let go of all this anger?

[keeperOFsecrets618]

This is my first post. I found christian forums hoping for some advice and guidence. So if you have any please let me know.... but on with the reason I posted this. See... I live with one mom, whos an alcoholic and a drug addict. Things can get pretty rough. Like recently, shes called the cops on me. Her 15 year old daughter but thats a longer story I'm not going to get into. I have had a lot of bad things happen to me in my life and recently my brother was badly injured trying to break up a fight because the person who wasn't even involved didn't want him to stop it. Well long story short my older brothers jaw was broken in two places. Your probably wondering why I'm sharing this well... when it happened I was livid. I wanted to go and get the guy who hurt my brother. Its probably not the christian thing to do but I'm the type of person that will go kick someones butt for hurting those I love. Since that incident though I've had such a short temper and I've been able to fly of the handle so easily without meaning to. I don't know what I can do to control it. I feel so guilty when I yell at someone for something petty. I've had angery built up before from all the other things I've gone through but I've always been able to control it some what at least. Now I don't know what to do.


Help?


God's child,
keeperOFsecrets

 

[BlessEwe]

Inside I do feel God is telling you how you have stufted things that hurt. I have heard that anger comes from wanting to control things so we/or loved ones don't get hurt.

I do feel from reading your post that things are very out of control from addiction with your mom. So I am sure from the total out of controllness of this you may be trying to keep everything else in line, this is very common for children of alcoholics/addicts.

You may be finding that you are unable to fix these things and in turn stuff them which again turns into anger.

I know how you feel as I was right there too many years ago. I am also a recovering alcoholic/ addict.

First off know that I am praying for you, God can move mountains!

There is support for teens now and i will come back and post this info for you.

 

[FallingWaters]

This is my first post. I found christian forums hoping for some advice and guidence. So if you have any please let me know.... but on with the reason I posted this. See... I live with one mom, whos an alcoholic and a drug addict. Things can get pretty rough. Like recently, shes called the cops on me. Her 15 year old daughter but thats a longer story I'm not going to get into. I have had a lot of bad things happen to me in my life and recently my brother was badly injured trying to break up a fight because the person who wasn't even involved didn't want him to stop it. Well long story short my older brothers jaw was broken in two places. Your probably wondering why I'm sharing this well... when it happened I was livid. I wanted to go and get the guy who hurt my brother. Its probably not the christian thing to do but I'm the type of person that will go kick someones butt for hurting those I love. Since that incident though I've had such a short temper and I've been able to fly of the handle so easily without meaning to. I don't know what I can do to control it. I feel so guilty when I yell at someone for something petty. I've had angery built up before from all the other things I've gone through but I've always been able to control it some what at least. Now I don't know what to do.


Help?


God's child,
keeperOFsecrets

Hi. I have had to deal with a lot of anger in my self, too.

The safest way to deal with your anger is write out all your feelings. You can write in a journal, or start a private blog online. Keep it private, so that you can say whatever you want to without worrying what other people think. You can address your writing to God, too.

Writing out your feelings is a good way to get in touch with what you're really thinking and feeling, and also cry and pray and feel other feelings.

Also, focus on becoming a forgiving person because God wants us to become like Jesus, and Jesus is very forgiving.

 

[keeperOFsecrets618]

I know its taken me forever to get back to this post but I've just really gotten the chance to write again.

BlessEwe:

I was in a teen support group about a year or two ago. The group broke apart because we no longer had a sponser. It was the Ala-teen group. I enjoyed it. Even though we didn't always have a real meeting it was still cool to be around kids that were completely different in so many ways but were all similar in many others. As far as I know the group never got back together.

All of my time is focused on protecting my friends and family. I do want to keep them from being hurt and the more I realize I can't always be there the more is scares me and that angers me to. But I get angry at myself for that.


FallingWaters:

I write poetry when I get upset or when I'm angry but I haven't done it in a while. I guess I could start doing that again.

I have forgiven my mom for a lot because I know its not really her whos doing it its the alcohol or the drugs but some things I just don't know how to forgive her for because I don't see how she could have done them sober or not.

 

[Anti Existance]

You live in a dysfunctional household, children tend to copy parents ,or in other words the dreadfull behaviour around you is turning you into a dreadfull person, the anger and hate fests are a display of that.

My advice is to leave the house, maby live at your aunt or a womans shelter, what you need to do is to completely focus yourself on your studies and on your future, and never ever ,not even the slightest become like your mother. Give yourself up for adoption, and find security in a safe enviroment. The longer you stay in that mess the worse it will become, negative experiences will keep piling up,

Take my advice when i say, push all the possible negativity out of your life. You've had your share already, push them out, even if its family if they only bring misery in your life , you don't need them ,or anyone who does a thing like that. Do not return evil with evil, it will only cause more evil, only give love to those who are evil, aka how Jesus commanded us.

 

[Onlythingavailable]

Something I've learned when combating anger, is to never belittle, ignore or repress the cause of it. By this I mean if someone calls me something rude, I will mostly be hurt and feel anger. The anger I feel isn't sin, what matters is what I do then, do I let it slide or do I let the anger take control and retaliate.

Your mother is a drug addict, she called the cops on you, someone beat your brother up as he was trying to do the right thing. No wonder you feel angry! Just don't let the anger control you. I'm sorry things are so bad for you at the moment, but do remember that anger won't improve things. It was anger that caused the fight your brother tried to break up, and it was probably anger that caused that person to attack your brother.

 

[godismyabba]

Hi! If you ever get the chance, read a couple of books by Corrie Ten Boom (The Hiding Place and Tramp for the Lord). She was in a German prison camp for hiding Jews during the war. She was able to forgive a guard, but in her words, "Only through Jesus". She knew that she could not provide the feelings and the forgiveness, so she asked God to provide them for her. He did. I know it is easier said than done sometimes, but another thing I do is to try and put myself in their shoes, to see how I would feel. Granted, it was a fight, but many times there are things under the surface that we aren't seeing. You can't change yesterday, and the only person you can change is yourself and your behavior. It's not easy, but if you give it to God, He will help you.
In His Grip, Melissa

 

[Revelation1217]

Welcome to the forum.

It can be very tough to forgive.

But you must.

Forgiveness will set you free.

God is there, and He can help you.

http://christianforums.com/t6757915...en-it-comes-to-christianity.html#post42856773

 

[keeperOFsecrets618]

I've talked to God more and my best friend too. My temper is still a bit short but its not as bad. I know God is just giving me signs to hand him back the keys to my life because sometimes I like to go and take control which I don't mean to until well after I already have.

All your advice is great. Those who suggested I leave I'm greatful for your thoughts and concern but I can't leave. Even though my mom isn't the best of mothers I know she loves me and plus to many people need me because I'm kind of the "strong tower" in the family and in my circle of friends. I can't leave cuz they would all just fall apart. So I'm sticking around and taking care of my family. What ever happens here I can take care of it. Its what I'm here for anyways.


Thanks again everyone for your advice!



God's child,
keeperOFsecrets

 

[Onlythingavailable]

Be careful of assuming the "strong tower" role, because nobody is a strong tower! Everyone needs support and encouragement, and someone to vent to. It's admirable that you want to help those around you, but be mindful of your own limits, because if you go past them, you won't be able to help anyone.

You might be interested in checking out this thread. Saraharms1 was (is?) in the same place as you, so the thread might be of some use.