How do I approach a Leader??

[0bscure]

I can't say too much, because I think other people from my church are on here, but here's the situation.....

I go to a Bible study that has 2 people leading it. They are meant to take turns leading it, like alternate weeks or something. One of them has only been there twice out of the last 8 weeks. Fair enough, 2 weeks he was away on holidays, but at least once I heard that the reason was "I don't feel like it tonight". I can see the other leader is getting really annoyed, because she has a pretty loaded schedule and doesn't always have time to prepare every week. Usually she has 2 weeks in which to look at the next subject and prepare, and can usually find enough time, but lately has been busier than usual, so the extra strain of having to do it all herself is not needed. On top of this, the other leader has moved in with a girl he really likes from church.

I can see the rest of our Bible Study group are also concerned and/or annoyed about the situation, and its distracting us from focussing on the studies.

Should we be asking them to step down as a leader, or asking them to show more commitment? I don't know what to say, what Scriptures are appropriate, and how to bring them up without appearing judgemental, especially because they are a friend.

 

[CaliGirl341]

The number one thing you should do in this situation is pray about it. Try to help the other leader out as much as you can and I think it should be a leader to leader thing. The one who is having a lot of stress should confront the other leader. And through prayer and some communication on both sides hopefully everything works out, in the mean time be patient

Romans 12:12 - "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

James 1:12- "Blessed is the man who perseveres unter trial, because when he has stood the test, he will recieve the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."

 

[fishstix]

Pray about it. Ideally, the other leader should be the one talking to him about this. So you might want to take your concerns to her. You could also respectfully let him know your concerns directly if he does show up one week. It probably isn't your place to ask your leader to step down - that would be something for his boss to do - likely in this case the pastor of your church. Talking to your pastor would be a last resort - and again it is probably something that would be better for the other leader to be doing. You would likely only want to go to your pastor yourselves if you have talked to the guy yet it continues to be a problem and your other leader is doing nothing about it.

The only time I would suggest immediately going directly over their leader's head to the pastor would be in a situation where there is abuse or if you are in danger. If neither of those are the case, then work through the proper channels and whatever chain of command your church has.

 

[Macca]

I can't say too much, because I think other people from my church are on here, but here's the situation.....

I go to a Bible study that has 2 people leading it. They are meant to take turns leading it, like alternate weeks or something. One of them has only been there twice out of the last 8 weeks. Fair enough, 2 weeks he was away on holidays, but at least once I heard that the reason was "I don't feel like it tonight". I can see the other leader is getting really annoyed, because she has a pretty loaded schedule and doesn't always have time to prepare every week. Usually she has 2 weeks in which to look at the next subject and prepare, and can usually find enough time, but lately has been busier than usual, so the extra strain of having to do it all herself is not needed. On top of this, the other leader has moved in with a girl he really likes from church.

I can see the rest of our Bible Study group are also concerned and/or annoyed about the situation, and its distracting us from focussing on the studies.

Should we be asking them to step down as a leader, or asking them to show more commitment? I don't know what to say, what Scriptures are appropriate, and how to bring them up without appearing judgemental, especially because they are a friend.

This is a job for the pastor; if the pastor does not know of the live in situation, then he/sha should be made aware of it, along with prayer for the situation. Macca.

 

[InTheFlame]

Something you haven't mentioned, is if there's anything unusual happening in this leader's life (apart from moving in with someone he has a crush on - not the smartest of moves I'll grant). Has he had more stress than usual? Is everything OK? Is your study group the type of group where he could talk about something that was causing him problems? Is there anything the other members of the group can do to lighten the load on the other leader? Are you all praying for him and each other?

(I'm not trying to be judgmental here - I want to understand the bigger picture..)

 

[Rafael]

I agree that the elders of the Church should know if somebody hasn't gone to the person and talked to him about the sin. Is this leader a friend of yours? If so, the Bible gives us instructions for dealing with a brother living in open sin:

1 Corinthians 15:11 What I meant was that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a Christian yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or a drunkard, or a swindler. Don’t even eat with such people.
12 It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your job to judge those inside the church who are sinning in these ways.
13 God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, "You must remove the evil person from among you."

1 Timothy 5:19 Do not listen to complaints against an elder unless there are two or three witnesses to accuse him.
20 Anyone who sins should be rebuked in front of the whole church so that others will have a proper fear of God.

Matthew 18:15 "If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the fault. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.
16 But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses.
17 If that person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. If the church decides you are right, but the other person won’t accept it, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.

 

[0bscure]

Something you haven't mentioned, is if there's anything unusual happening in this leader's life (apart from moving in with someone he has a crush on - not the smartest of moves I'll grant). Has he had more stress than usual? Is everything OK? Is your study group the type of group where he could talk about something that was causing him problems? Is there anything the other members of the group can do to lighten the load on the other leader? Are you all praying for him and each other?

(I'm not trying to be judgmental here - I want to understand the bigger picture..)

I understand that you're not being judgemental InTheFlame, and I appreciate you rasing these points.

There is nothing unusual that we are aware of, and our group are usually pretty open with each other about any stresses/problems we're facing.

Some of us have prepared studies, and told her to phone us if she needs us to bring it along and run the night.

Yes, we have been praying for our leader. We always pray for each other, and have been faithful in doing so through this.

The living situation has been discussed and is in the process of being sorted out. Our group have decided that we need to all sit down and talk to our leader together, to make him aware of how we are feeling. We want to sort this out so there is no bitterness.

 

[TheMainException]

What I would suggest is that you ask them to show more commitment or step down as a leader. Even if they are a friend, they have to do what they sign up for...you can't bail on people like that...make that clear to them too.