How deep is my water?

[DeepWater]

thank you......

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

I'm pretty sure God isn't confused.

 

[DeepWater]

yes Melissa,

God isnt confused.

Sometimes tho, in life, things can get to be so unbelievably twisted and strange, that it would seem that the maze you find yourself in, is quite impossible to escape.
The worst part is to pray and get silence., as this tends to create such anxiety.
I hope that you are never in a situation that to solve it..... is to harm another or yourself.
These are the worse situations.

One of the worst things a Christian can do is get trapped in a situation that is based on pity., as pity tends to create the illusion of love, but its really just a false enabler that allows life to get into a mess.
Be on your toes, coz many relationships that are not good for you, you will keep because of pity.
Dont let pity trap you., coz the trap is bottomless.

 

[Blank123]

honestly... (assuming you're telling the truth about your situation) I don't believe you should be with either woman.

You've been leading woman #1 on for 20 years. Enough is enough. Let her go and get on with her life. She will find a way to survive without you. You also have to know that for someone who says he's stayed this long because he cares that running off to marry another woman while you're with her is going to hurt her much worse and do so much more damage to her heart than if you'd sit her down and say, "this isn't working. We need to break up." Honesty is freedom. Game playing is drama and heartbreak.

You don't know woman #2. I say this as someone who has dated online before - you don't truly know someone until you've spent a substantial amount of time with them in person. I'm talking at least a year - give it enough time for the hormones to die down and see if this is who you really want to marry.

You mentioned suicidal thoughts. Thats an incredibly huge red flag that you're not in an emotionally stable state where you can even reasonably consider committing to anyone. You need to address the issues you're dealing with in your life, heal, and then think about dating. In that order. Otherwise you're just asking for a lot of pain and drama for everyone involved.

 

[DeepWater]

honestly... (assuming you're telling the truth about your situation) I don't believe you should be with either woman.

You've been leading woman #1 on for 20 years. Enough is enough. Let her go and get on with her life. She will find a way to survive without you. You also have to know that for someone who says he's stayed this long because he cares that running off to marry another woman while you're with her is going to hurt her much worse and do so much more damage to her heart than if you'd sit her down and say, "this isn't working. We need to break up." Honesty is freedom. Game playing is drama and heartbreak.

You don't know woman #2. I say this as someone who has dated online before - you don't truly know someone until you've spent a substantial amount of time with them in person. I'm talking at least a year - give it enough time for the hormones to die down and see if this is who you really want to marry.

You mentioned suicidal thoughts. Thats an incredibly huge red flag that you're not in an emotionally stable state where you can even reasonably consider committing to anyone. You need to address the issues you're dealing with in your life, heal, and then think about dating. In that order. Otherwise you're just asking for a lot of pain and drama for everyone involved.

hi,

i appreciate your thoughts.

may i say, in response........that in not game playing.
i did try to leave in the mid 90s, but, was working so much that i ended up sick before i could leave.

and i will tell you that woman A, has told me many many times to leave.
basically every time she is angry.

and i did sit down with her a few times this week and try to explain why im leaving.
its odd.
when i met this woman........she played the game that a lot of women play, which is to pretend to "like" and "be into" everything i was into.
over time, i came to find that she is into nothing i like, and it was pretty much just her trying to adapt to me early on.
im a musician, and she is a woman who does not even like to listen to music.
However, the first year or 3 or 4, she did pretend to.

i think that one needs to consider that as she has given me 20 years of her life, i was also here giving her 20 of mine.
could i have given more?
you bet.
but couldn't everyone be better to their mate?

for example, ive never had an affair.
how man men can say that?
how many do you know that are right now sleeping around on their wives by day and lying to them about how much they love them by night.............But I never did this.
i just went almost 18 years with no sex.
you want to try that?
you want to be that dedicated to a relationship that is making you crazy?
Who does that?
Heck, most men leave in 5 or 10yrs just because they are BORED, but i stayed and tried for over 20 until i am about NUTZ.

and no im not justifying myself.............im just telling you the truth.

So, i do appreciate that you think im a devil who is only here on earth to harm this woman im with, but i can assure you that i have, especially in the last 5 years given and given and given, but im sick of it.
Im sick of a house that smells like a kennel.
im sick of grandchildren who took over our lives the first 7 or 8.
im sick of waiting for her "end time transfer" to show up (Kenneth Copeland), while i pay the light bill again with my SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITY CHECK.. the last 5 years.

so, no, im no angel, but, i have tried, more then most men.......to deal with this woman.

now im ready to try a new life, coz this one is a living death.

the fact is, ither choice i make, is probably wrong., however, to stay in a situation that makes me want to die, is not going to fix my issue, my friend.
Sometimes u just have to cut the cord and face the music.
This is unfortunate.

I wish we were all perfect and behaved as Jesus did, however, thats not going to happen.
All of us are flawed, selfish, prideful, greedy, and impatient.
Im probably worse then you, but im sure im better then others.

thank GOD for Jesus, or we would all end up damned, if it was left up to us.
However, and thank God again....he has provided a way, and a pardon, that allows even the worst of the worst like me, to be a part of the angelic host, for all eternity.


thank you for your comment.

 

[Blank123]

and i will tell you that woman A, has told me many many times to leave.
basically every time she is angry.

Then one of you needs to leave. simple as that. There is really no excuse for hanging around in a relationship that neither person apparently wants to be in. She doesn't have cash? She surely has a church or friends or family, or welfare. You were sick? you surely have church or friends or family, or government assistance of some kind.

Don't use your situation as an excuse to stay with someone you don't want to be with. I know I sound harsh, and trust me I don't mean to, but to use it as an excuse is a copout. There are always choices to be made. Even if it came down to living in the same house but not being in a relationship. That is also a choice that could have been made at any point.

for example, ive never had an affair.

I'm sorry, but thats not true. You became so emotionally committed to another women, while you were with Woman A that you committed to marrying her. You may not have had sex with this other woman, but you certainly were not faithful to the woman you were supposed to be faithful to. In my opinion, that sounds an awful lot like an affair.

So, i do appreciate that you think im a devil who is only here on earth to harm this woman im with

I never said that. I said you should respect both women enough to leave them and figure out your issues first so that you *can* be fully committed to just one woman. Because it honestly does not sound to me like right now you're in a healthy emotional place to be able to consider or commit to anyone. You need to address that.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

yes Melissa,

God isnt confused.

Sometimes tho, in life, things can get to be so unbelievably twisted and strange, that it would seem that the maze you find yourself in, is quite impossible to escape.
The worst part is to pray and get silence., as this tends to create such anxiety.
I hope that you are never in a situation that to solve it..... is to harm another or yourself.
These are the worse situations.

One of the worst things a Christian can do is get trapped in a situation that is based on pity., as pity tends to create the illusion of love, but its really just a false enabler that allows life to get into a mess.
Be on your toes, coz many relationships that are not good for you, you will keep because of pity.
Dont let pity trap you., coz the trap is bottomless.

It isn't really that confusing or impossible to escape. See the above posts by LT. Also, why are you telling me to be on my toes about relationships? I'm married...

 

[DeepWater]

Then one of you needs to leave. simple as that. There is really no excuse for hanging around in a relationship that neither person apparently wants to be in. She doesn't have cash? She surely has a church or friends or family, or welfare. You were sick? you surely have church or friends or family, or government assistance of some kind.

Don't use your situation as an excuse to stay with someone you don't want to be with. I know I sound harsh, and trust me I don't mean to, but to use it as an excuse is a copout. There are always choices to be made. Even if it came down to living in the same house but not being in a relationship. That is also a choice that could have been made at any point.
I'm sorry, but thats not true. You became so emotionally committed to another women, while you were with Woman A that you committed to marrying her. You may not have had sex with this other woman, but you certainly were not faithful to the woman you were supposed to be faithful to. In my opinion, that sounds an awful lot like an affair.

I never said that. I said you should respect both women enough to leave them and figure out your issues first so that you *can* be fully committed to just one woman. Because it honestly does not sound to me like right now you're in a healthy emotional place to be able to consider or commit to anyone. You need to address that.

you know, my issue is so much deeper then ive been able to share here.............so, i will share more, that maybe some of you can at least see the trap im in.

first of all, i do care deeply for woman A.
but we dont get along..
we live as friends in her home............thats our relationship.
she sleeps in her room, and i basically live in mine.
we are friendly, unless i say something wrong, which usually happens because i just am burned out of the prosperity gospel ministers who are in my ear here for 15 years.
Look, im a baptist...........more fundamentalist then southern......and she is a pentacostal / word of faith type.

in other words...........she is totally involved with Duplantis, Copeland, Dollar, Hagee, Roberts, Osteen, Hagan, ect.
See it?

Im ok with some of their theology, however, im not ok with a lot of it...
Mostly, i just dont agree that the main purpose of a christian is to be "blessed"., and these people are absolutely convinced that its our "bible right" to be "rich".
And maybe it is........however, i feel that if you point a christian towards serving god for what he can do for you,.......that is to say........everything i do, i do coz i know i'll be blessed in the doing..........then i feel that is a carnal way to serve god........in that im ONLY doing it coz i'll get the "100 fold return".
To put is simply..........i think the prosperity gospel theology teaches a sort of christian greed...a continual chasing of blessings..which i absolutely reject.
The idea that i give to God to get from him, as my reason for giving......i just find that abhorant, so...........girl A and i fight like cats and dogs coz all she wants to do is listen to these people teach " bible blessing rights"...

and YES, God wants us to be prosperous............OF COURSE.........but the idea is to do the WORK of the MINISTRY, and the blessings follow...............NOT, do the work FOR THE SAKE of being blessed".
Thats how i see it, and i think Paul the apostle has the same viewpoint, as he said that "godliness with contentment is great gain".........not "money and more of it is your reason to pursue God".

Im the type who likes Charles Stanley, Adrian Rodgers, David Jeremiah.........those people........as i find them more intellectual, but mostly, i find that i agree with a soul winning based idea of Christianity as the reason for it all, and any other purpose, is not the main idea of WHY God saved us for ministry, or discipleship.
We are saved to lead others to the saving knowledge........thats the idea............in my opinion.
And certainly, the prosperity gospel crowd does not have as their main idea or teaching........"soul winning".
Just go to their programs or to their sites, and try to find a book on witnessing, or leading someone to Christ.
You wont find it........so, that is a fundamental flaw in their teaching, and that is why i cant stand it, for the most part.
But she loves it.........and she is obsessed with hearing it, constantly, and its like an icepick in my head to hear it, at this point.

so, basically, that is the root of our issue, and the reason i never married her.
its because on one hand i care about her deeply, but on the other hand we are so separated by our theology, that we literally cannot sit and talk about a bible verse without a fight.
Im not kidding.

I have over the years tried to settle down about this, and just live and let live, but i just cant do it enough for us to have peace.
Right now, im writing you this at 7:50am on a Monday morning, and she has already been up since 4:30, first praying, and reading the bible, and now she has tuned in to Copeland, and has already started taping him AGAIN.
She literally has a pile of tapes, where he is taped on them, that is about 3 feet high and about 3 feet wide.
I stopped buying her the blank videos a while ago, and now she just retapes him over the old tapes.....she has hundreds.
And it just makes me angry to even think about her doing this.
How can anyone just keep obsessing to this point on a few preachers, whose message is so simple that you can get it the 1st time you hear it.
But she thinks that "faith cometh by hearing".......so, she feels that she needs to hear the prosperity message every day, as this is building her faith to receive.

so, truly one of us is nutz.
maybe its me, but, im not the one who is getting up every day of every week to tape these prosperity gospel people.


and also.

she didnt work enough in her life to get social security.
can you believe it?
so, she has none, and cant get any till she works more and gets more "quarters" according to how they set up the system to pay out.
So, she has tried wal mart, kentucky fried chicken, the bible book stores in our area, as well as small department stores, and noone will hire her coz of her age and lack of experience.
She has tried to find a job.
no luck.

So, here is the final part of this misery.

ive been in a remission for about 3 years.
im doing fine.
my SSDI is based on my bloodwork, which at this point is nearly perfect, and im up for review.
If they review me, and overlook my destroyed hips, (steroid damage), and strictly approve me or not based on my blood tests, then im in trouble.

here is the trouble.

Woman A's house is a reverse mortgage.
She is 65.
If she dies, her son gets the house and i get the street.
He wont let me live here, as the rules about a Reverse Mortgage, state that you have a year to sell it.

So, i have this time bomb now.

which is..

If i lose my income next May (my birthday), then im living in a house that is not mine if woman A dies..........and she's 65.

so, if i lost my income in the next 5 years, and she dies, im on the street.
i have no income, and i cant work coz of my hips, and then i have no home to live in, coz she died and im out.


so, i am so stuck in life, that i cant even think about it without nearly feeling panic.

And so, this girl ive known for 5 years online.....she is a nurse, she wants to take care of me, and she is decided that if i go to Israel, i can use my english speaking skills to find a job.
So, that is why i am looking very hard at this situation.
As it will actually perhaps save my life to go with girl B, where as to stay here with girl A, even if i marry her.......wont even keep me off the street if she dies, and if i lost my income, as the house will fall to her son and he will sell it ASAP, and so where am i then?
Maybe girl A will live to be 100, but maybe she wont.
This is an impossible gamble for me...
See it?

so, isnt this a nightmare?
im in a nightmare, and im doing the only thing i can do, ..which is try to escape what is coming, by leaving now..

if i could do anything else, i would, but.....what can i do?
Its not my fault that girl A cant get a job, and it not my responsibility to pay the bills here while she cant work, until the day she dies and then i have no place to live.
How can this be my responsibility to that extent?
So, her son can help her with $300 a month coz that is all she needs for bills.
She has my food card for food, and i will renew it for her as long as i can, which is at least 2 more years.
At that time, she'll be nearly 70, if she lives that long.
But i cant just wait here and keeping making all this happen, when my own income and living situation is basically a totally "who knows' at this point.
Its really a mess, isnt it?
What good am i to girl A, if i lose my income?
then im just dead weight here, who will have to be helped by her SON, just as she will if i leave.
Its the same issue, only worse for us both.
See it?

do i live here, and wait for girl A to die, then, hope that i still have my SSDI when my remission is now 3 years perfect?

that is like walking on a high wire blindfolded......it is CRAZY for me to stay here, knowing what is coming....


so, i hope this helps all the readers to fully understand how stuck i am..

i cant work, coz im not physically albe to do it, coz of my hips needing to be replaced, but they are not collapsed quite yet, so, i dont want to have them cut out yet.
Who would?

My SSDI is potentially going to be taken from me, because im in REMISSION for 3 years, and im up for review, and my income, my disability is based on blood tests, and they are nearly perfect for 3 years coz of my remission.
I do have a chronic disease, but at this point, as i near the review, im in a remarkable remission....

so, if i stay here, even if i marry girl A,.............and she dies.........and i lose my income............i will be in such a mess...........literally one day in a home, then then next day in the street.
I have no place to go..
I mean, im 50, and i cant go and live with my dad.
Thats not a life.


so, at the same time all this is happening to me......this girl comes into my life, who wants to take care of me, who understands my situation with money, and health, and is confident that i can get work that i can do in Israel coz i speak english..and, i cant work here, in the USA, coz im a total liability.......noone would hire me, and even if they did, i cant use my right leg much, as its about 80% harmed by the needed hip replacement.

so, its as if this girl came into my life as the lifeboat.

but the thing is............maybe she didnt.


all i know, is that i have such a situation that i cant fix by hope.
i have to DO SOMETHING., and ive run out of time, as Girl B is in my city till the 19th of the month, so, i have to choose and do.
I have to go back with Girl B and take my chances there, or i stay here with Girl A, knowing all about my income issue, and her age, and of course the loss of a place to stay if she does in the next few years, ect.


wow.

this reads like fiction, but its not.
Its a fact.
its my crazy life., and i need to fix it, as its making me so depressed and so full of panic to just float along and wait for what i see coming.

 

[Blank123]

you know, my issue is so much deeper then ive been able to share here.............so, i will share more, that maybe some of you can at least see the trap im in.

first of all, i do care deeply for woman A.
but we dont get along..
we live as friends in her home............thats our relationship.
she sleeps in her room, and i basically live in mine.
we are friendly, unless i say something wrong, which usually happens because i just am burned out of the prosperity gospel ministers who are in my ear here for 15 years.
Look, im a baptist...........more fundamentalist then southern......and she is a pentacostal / word of faith type.

in other words...........she is totally involved with Duplantis, Copeland, Dollar, Hagee, Roberts, Osteen, Hagan, ect.
See it?

Im ok with some of their theology, however, im not ok with a lot of it...
Mostly, i just dont agree that the main purpose of a christian is to be "blessed"., and these people are absolutely convinced that its our "bible right" to be "rich".
And maybe it is........however, i feel that if you point a christian towards serving god for what he can do for you,.......that is to say........everything i do, i do coz i know i'll be blessed in the doing..........then i feel that is a carnal way to serve god........in that im ONLY doing it coz i'll get the "100 fold return".
To put is simply..........i think the prosperity gospel theology teaches a sort of christian greed...a continual chasing of blessings..which i absolutely reject.
The idea that i give to God to get from him, as my reason for giving......i just find that abhorant, so...........girl A and i fight like cats and dogs coz all she wants to do is listen to these people teach " bible blessing rights"...

and YES, God wants us to be prosperous............OF COURSE.........but the idea is to do the WORK of the MINISTRY, and the blessings follow...............NOT, do the work FOR THE SAKE of being blessed".
Thats how i see it, and i think Paul the apostle has the same viewpoint, as he said that "godliness with contentment is great gain".........not "money and more of it is your reason to pursue God".

Im the type who likes Charles Stanley, Adrian Rodgers, David Jeremiah.........those people........as i find them more intellectual, but mostly, i find that i agree with a soul winning based idea of Christianity as the reason for it all, and any other purpose, is not the main idea of WHY God saved us for ministry, or discipleship.
We are saved to lead others to the saving knowledge........thats the idea............in my opinion.
And certainly, the prosperity gospel crowd does not have as their main idea or teaching........"soul winning".
Just go to their programs or to their sites, and try to find a book on witnessing, or leading someone to Christ.
You wont find it........so, that is a fundamental flaw in their teaching, and that is why i cant stand it, for the most part.
But she loves it.........and she is obsessed with hearing it, constantly, and its like an icepick in my head to hear it, at this point.

so, basically, that is the root of our issue, and the reason i never married her.

then you shouldn't have stayed with her for 20 years and led her on. but whats done is done. This isn't a complicated situation - if you don't see eye to eye on doctrinal issues that are important to you, then you break up and find someone else who you do see eye to eye with. In that order. Anything else is disrespectful and hurtful because whether or not you do see eye to eye... you are committed to that person until you clearly state otherwise.

I have over the years tried to settle down about this, and just live and let live, but i just cant do it enough for us to have peace.
Right now, im writing you this at 7:50am on a Monday morning, and she has already been up since 4:30, first praying, and reading the bible, and now she has tuned in to Copeland, and has already started taping him AGAIN.
She literally has a pile of tapes, where he is taped on them, that is about 3 feet high and about 3 feet wide.
I stopped buying her the blank videos a while ago, and now she just retapes him over the old tapes.....she has hundreds.
And it just makes me angry to even think about her doing this.
How can anyone just keep obsessing to this point on a few preachers, whose message is so simple that you can get it the 1st time you hear it.
But she thinks that "faith cometh by hearing".......so, she feels that she needs to hear the prosperity message every day, as this is building her faith to receive.

so, truly one of us is nutz.
maybe its me, but, im not the one who is getting up every day of every week to tape these prosperity gospel people.

It doesn't sound like you have tried though. It sounds like you've tried to ignore it and hoped you two would see eye to eye. You're just complaining about something you should have ended 20 years ago.

she didnt work enough in her life to get social security.
can you believe it?
so, she has none, and cant get any till she works more and gets more "quarters" according to how they set up the system to pay out.
So, she has tried wal mart, kentucky fried chicken, the bible book stores in our area, as well as small department stores, and noone will hire her coz of her age and lack of experience.
She has tried to find a job.
no luck.

thats sad, but pity is no reason to stay with someone.

Woman A's house is a reverse mortgage.
She is 65.
If she dies, her son gets the house and i get the street.
He wont let me live here, as the rules about a Reverse Mortgage, state that you have a year to sell it.

which makes sense. You despise his mother to the point of cheating on her. I wouldn't let you live there either. Now it sounds like you're actively using her for a place to live.

so, if i lost my income in the next 5 years, and she dies, im on the street.
i have no income, and i cant work coz of my hips, and then i have no home to live in, coz she died and im out.


so, i am so stuck in life, that i cant even think about it without nearly feeling panic.

then its time to start exploring other options. Church, family, friends, government assistance. Don't use other human beings by stringing them along. that is cruel.

And so, this girl ive known for 5 years online.....she is a nurse, she wants to take care of me, and she is decided that if i go to Israel, i can use my english speaking skills to find a job.
So, that is why i am looking very hard at this situation.
As it will actually perhaps save my life to go with girl B, where as to stay here with girl A, even if i marry her.......wont even keep me off the street if she dies, and if i lost my income, as the house will fall to her son and he will sell it ASAP, and so where am i then?
Maybe girl A will live to be 100, but maybe she wont.
This is an impossible gamble for me...
See it?

and what happens when you realise that you and the woman in Israel don't actually see eye to eye? Will you search for a woman to cheat on her with so someone else will care for you? Women are not supposed to be treated that way. They are people will feelings and hearts of their own, regardless of doctrine, and deserve to be treated as such. they're not here for you or to care for you.

I mean, im 50, and i cant go and live with my dad.
Thats not a life.

and this situation is?

so, at the same time all this is happening to me......this girl comes into my life, who wants to take care of me, who understands my situation with money, and health, and is confident that i can get work that i can do in Israel coz i speak english..and, i cant work here, in the USA, coz im a total liability.......noone would hire me, and even if they did, i cant use my right leg much, as its about 80% harmed by the needed hip replacement.

so, its as if this girl came into my life as the lifeboat.

honestly... it sounds like you're just viewing this other woman as yet another person to be used. She came into your life to care for you. No she didn't. God wouldn't bring someone into a Christians life to breakup a relationship, because whether you recognize it or not you did cheat on your girlfriend with this. Thats not a God honouring way to start a relationship. Also. No woman walks into a man's life looking to be his nursemaid and bank account, or the means to put a roof over his head.

You have to stop looking at woman to see what *you* can get out of them.

Why not actually try to do something to take care of yourself rather than see what people you can manipulate and use by drawing them into a romantic relationship just to be taken care of? Why not actively put some faith into the Lord and trust Him as you pursue legitimate means of supporting yourself and finding real solid help for yourself?

and just so you don't start thinking that I'm just some young kid who couldn't possibly understand... I also have a chronic disability that seriously affects my ability to work. But you know what? I'm not out there looking for a man to marry me and take care of me. I'm working two jobs so that I can be self-sufficient. I'm also going to school so that I can work towards a higher paying job at some point. It sure as heck is not easy by any means. I wake up in the morning and I pray for strength to make it through the day. But this path is much more God honouring, and much more respectful to the people in my life, than to try and get a man to fall for me so I never have to take responsibility for myself.

Maybe you really can't work. I'm curious how hard you've actually looked into your options for work to see if thats actually true or if you just assume its true because its easier and allows you to justify to yourself how you treat the women in your life. But assuming for a moment it is completely true, there are always other resources to pursue than to use women.

 

[Nienna_Lady_of_Tears]

I'm sorry but what I see here is two totally dysfunctional people housing together in some sort of pseudo relationship that will never lead to marriage...especially after 20 years, good grief if you were going to marry you would have done it a long time ago!

I've been homeless. It's not easy, but I had to do it in order to move on in my life. Sometimes we have to break away from everything in our current life in order to move forward.

You are in no position to be in a relationship with either woman. If you had a shred of common sense you would have realized that the relationship with "woman A" was going nowhere and found something else a long time ago.

I'm not saying that it's your disability that means you shouldn't be in a relationship. I am married to a disabled man, but he treats me well and keeps himself physically, emotionally, and mentally committed to me. We do have some squabbles but nothing like what you're describing.

You seem to want a woman only so you have a means to be provided for. I'm sorry, if that's all you want a woman for, get into an assisted living home.

 

[Inkachu]

I'm sorry, but you won't get sympathy from me. You created this mess, and you have no one to blame but yourself. And even if you want to martyr yourself with self-pity over this situation, you're still destroying several other hearts and lives in the process - congratulations.

You've wasted 20 years of a woman's life, and now you're about to abandon a life you've built (whether you were 'happy' or not) with this person, to marry (are you kidding??) a woman you've never met from another country (dude, this has DISASTER written all over it).

My advice: DO NOT marry the foreign woman. Don't marry the other one, either. In fact, please, for God's sake, do not get married at all. Tell the foreign woman you made a mistake, you can't marry her, and send her home (or anywhere else) with your humblest apologies and best wishes. She doesn't love you, as you've deluded yourself into believing. She's never met you. She doesn't know you. Emails and phone calls do not constitute a relationship, let alone an engagement. Next, get the heck out of this poor other woman's life and leave her alone. Learn what it means to be a man, support yourself, live alone, suck it up, and grow up.

 

[If Not For Grace]

Never Leave one person for another.

Either stay or leave because you want to (no other reason is necessary).

If you are planning to marry someone you met online, you have no business marrying anyone. (So far this is a virtual person).

Your logic and judgement seem flawed. A person in love and ready to marry usually
would not have suicidal ideations. A person living on SSI is in no position to support another, financially.

Get yourself in good operating order before taking on any relationship.

 

[elenore]

you created this mess. I agree with all the advice given.

 

[elenore]

PS. Just because you didn't cheat on this woman doesn't mean you didn't use her.