How common is marrige for physically disabled?

white8tiger0 · Nov 3, 2004

I'm 24, with Spina Bifida. I'm going to agree with a lot that has been said in this topic. I think we are our own worse enemies. I have never been on a date, or ever had a girlfriend. I had this thing online (which I would never do again). but it was never real, neither of us new eachother. Anyways, I don't know if this is true for anyone else, but when I was younger, I think I put myself out their more. As I got older, I guess I realized I am different from everyone else, and then you realize how a lot of society is, it just makes your kinda of low about yourself. I now know what I have to offer, and I just think to myself that no one would want that, so I don't even bother approaching a female companion. I look pretty normal from the outside, I walk with a limp, which can go un noticed for the first few meetings with people, then they ask, did you hurt yourself? I guess I will end this here.

babysnakes · Nov 4, 2004

well i have really bad glaucoma and in my right eye i have barely any sight and my eye has scar tissue all over it making the whole thing a pale bluish color that is very noticable bc i don't look like i have a pupil in that eye. even so, i am pretty normal but i need help seeing a lot of things. fortuanately i have a best friend who realizes this and will read me things she knows i need read to me without even asking. now... speaking of romance i have had one serous boyfriend ( 2yrs) and have a new one now, and the problem i have is that they don't seem to realize how much help i need, even if i seem normal. also, i can't drive and i worry about being able to take care of children if i can't see that well.

Jake88 · Nov 11, 2004

I'm not disabled, but I wouldn't think it would be a severe hinderance.

33ad · Nov 13, 2004

babysnakes said:
i worry about being able to take care of children if i can't see that well.

I'm older than most of you, I'm 51. I'm not disabled but have been married nearly seven years to the most wonderful woman I ever met, and she has been blind since 9 months old. She was widowed once, (Having a baby to care for) and was then married to a very abusive disabled guy. She fortunatly for me divorced him, and I look after her like a princess. She is away from me for 3 weeks getting her third guide-dog, and I miss her very much. I can only see her Sundays. So my phone bill this month is going to be terrible (HeHe)
Her collegue at the office is also totally blind, has two young kids, and is divorcing her husband, who is also blind. So she has to look after these kids on her own. but even thru all this she still has faith in God.
Yes, it's hard waiting for Mr or Ms right, but it's worth it. Even I had to go thru two failed marriages before God gave me the right partner.

Keep praying, your Soul Mate is out there, God will guide you to each other.

God Bless you

bubblegirl23 · Nov 14, 2004

Quote: Something about "...in sickness and in health..." isn't taken all too seriously as it should these days.

Absolutely true! I aim to find a man to live in my chem-free conditions, which aren't that bad, and they run! I even found a man not wanting children (because I can't have any) and he barely last beyond "hi, I'm a disabled emerging writer..."

For me, I'd be happy to marry someone disabled too, but because I can't work, they have to be able to. Missing limbs, deformities, wheelchair patients etc don't phase me a bit. They are my companions through this tough track called life - I share this love with you all. Romantically, if I wasn't disabled I would be breadwinner to a disabled man. Unfortunately my bread isn't paid with my own money yet. PLEASE LORD - let me be a famous writer!

Sea

p_kitha · Nov 19, 2004

It is as common as any other marriage. Never say you are too old to get on a date or get married and never be ashamed of your life. Take this in the good way you have never been in a relationship you have never been hurt...no guy has ever taken advantage of you as the girls that have already gone on a date take it on this way God must be holding that special person to come at the right time. When is his time. Never losse faith. Never think you are worst than other people. You are as valuable as anyother girl and I am sure someone will apreciatte your heart but in the right time when that special person comes in your life don't let him go. For now pray for God to give you the right person that man that will want to spend the rest of his life with you and that will love you forever...remember never losse faith.

SamHunter · Nov 19, 2004

i sure as hell wouldn't marry a retard.

bubblegirl23 · Nov 22, 2004

I found a man like that then lost him. He was willing to move from the US for me! I told him I didn't love him because I didn't feel worth his sacrifices. Now we're friends online, but sometimes I wonder if I could have had a relationship with him. I've missed out on him - do you think God will send me another?

mike1212 · Dec 6, 2004

This is for anybody out there that feels there is less hope to find a mate than the other. My name is Michael, I am 26 years old, with an able body. When I was 23 I met the most wonderful women I have ever met, she was loving, and caring.

My Kavita had a form of muscular dystrophy. She didnt really say anything about it when we first met, but I sure did notice that she had trouble walking, and was a lot slower than I.

It got to the point in our relationship that I was carrying her up and down stairs, and helping her off toilets. This was while we were dating.

I married her last July. It was the happiest moment of my life. I loved her so much. I grew to actually love her in a stronger way because of her disability.

Unfortunately , she passed away of causes unrelated to her disease. This happened only 10 weeks after we got married, about 3 months ago.

I will tell you that at times I was annoyed that I had to walk slower, or cater to things that I probably didnt have to. But I pressed on. Now, I constantly look behind me, thinking that she will be there walking a little slower than I.

I would take back into my life all the disabilities that she had , TEN-FOLD. I would take them all back, to have her company with me again. Every person has disabilities. Some hinder the person, others make the person shine. Hers made her shine.

Don't ever think that there is not somebody out there for you. I carried my wife, but she carried me more.

Michael

belle1492 said:
Hi all I've often wondered how many of us with very visible physical disabilities are successful getting married? And if so at what age? I have Cerebral Palsy. At almost 29 yrs old its getting embarrassing to admit that I've never been on a date. I know some may think this might be better in the relationships forum, but I don't think there would be much of a response so this is why I'm posting this here.

I posted a thread in relationships a while back, asking everyone if they thought a physical disability would be a hinderance to a relationship, many people said it wouldn't be, and I have to take them at their word, but at the same time I feel like they might have been saying this just to be polically correct.

bubblegirl23 · Dec 12, 2004

GOD BLESS YOU !

I pray you find someone new to love and everythinng you wish is granted.

Wiffey · Dec 31, 2004

I became disabled due to a severe back injury less than a year after starting to date my husband. I had to have emergency surgery (disc removed, decompression & spinal fusion), and he was thrust into this caretaker role with me AND my young child. I knew he would not abandon me in a crunch, but I was SURE he'd run for the hills when I was able to be independent again. Instead he proposed.
The titanium rods in my back broke and I had to have my fusion revised a year & a week after the first surgery. It was 3 months before our wedding. He took care of me again, and I walked down the aisle ( without a cane and 2 days out of my brace) and we were married...

It takes someone very special to hang tough through all of life's traumas. Luckily, those special folks DO exist.

Wishing everyone love & happiness!

JeffreyLloyd · Jan 11, 2005

I've had a T-8 SCI since I was 15. I've been married now for a little over two years and have a beautiful 6 month old daughter.

Nothing is impossible with Christ.

Nossa-the-Lame · Jan 11, 2005

JeffreyLloyd said:
I've had a T-8 SCI since I was 15. I've been married now for a little over two years and have a beautiful 6 month old daughter.

Nothing is impossible with Christ.

You've said it brother! HIGHFIVES!

Shalom U'Berachot,
NTL

Wiffey · Jan 14, 2005

JeffreyLloyd said:
I've had a T-8 SCI since I was 15. I've been married now for a little over two years and have a beautiful 6 month old daughter.

Nothing is impossible with Christ.

God bless you and your family!

makkulu · Jan 14, 2005

Your daughter is adorable, congratulations and yep every blessing to your family.

Makk

CrimsonCryer1986 · Sep 14, 2006

I am single. I have had boyfriends, all of whom ended up dumping me I am sooooooooooo sick of being used and abused. I am really starting to doubt that there are any "good" guys out there. All I have ever wanted is someone to love me DESPITE my disability and treat me like any other "normal" woman. I am sick of men being with me, because either they feel sorry for me or they brain wash me into thinking that they love me and they are the best I can get.

mebby02 · Sep 23, 2006

Of course people who disabled have kids that perfectly normal. l know a women she had spinal bifida and she is doing great. And her husband has hyperactive disorder and there doing great. And they have a child together and there happy married so don't think you can't get married you so can . Doesnt matter whaty ou have or don't have

bubblegirl23 · Sep 23, 2006

Gorgeous little girl.

You know, I was passionate about this subject due to a lot of rejection from men from my disability. Now I've let go and left it to God. In honesty, I am happy to remain single, as the love of my family and dog (pseudo-kid) is enough.

It takes someone special to overlook physical medical issues, and should we find one they are precious. But if not, we are as capable in taking care of ourselves with God. I think that's an empowering realisation -- for me anyway.

Meanwhile I'm thrilled to hear of disabled people in love and having families. CONGRATS!

nightporter · Sep 26, 2006

I have Muscular Dystrophy and I married but I met my partner at 14 years old. Trying to meet someone as a grown up now is a nightmare, is it me or is it the wheelchair? I believe that special someone is out there waiting to be pointed in my direction.

katylees · Oct 9, 2006

I am in a relationship right now with a lovely guy who has CP (i do not have a physical disability) he is also a memeber here, infact we both met on here a few months ago and we just fell in love.. he is 15 years older than me and lives across the ocean! .. but he is coming over here to visit in 3 weeks time! and we have talked about marriage, but obviosuly not yet as we haven't met.. and i'm still ay university etc

Never forget that Through Jesus, nothing is impossible. He will carry you through tough times and whenever you need Him, He is right there with you.

How common is marrige for physically disabled?

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