My testimony stems from a life of being rejected, beaten, abused in ll forms, being abandoned and having no trust in any parental figure. I lived with this woman who was in her 60's when I was very small and her husband was a pastor at small church in NY. He didn't live with us, but he visited. She, was an odd character, who the greatest thing she taught me was love for animals. But if I did something she felt was bad, I got beaten with wooden brush and sent to the Jesus Shrine to beg forgiveness. So I was scared. Scared of the most beautiful creator. ANd to make things even worse, she would put a picture of Jesus on my hands at night to protect me from masterbating...at a mere 4 years old or so. So I'd stare at that picture and watch it wink at me, smile at me, smirk....all I wanted to do was throw that picture down, I was so scared....and this begins my journey in my losing faith.
After her husband died, she gave me back to my biological mother suddenly...and I had no idea who this woman was. And the reason being that on the pastors death bed, he asked to see me and apparently disregarded her...in her eyes. Which caused her to become extremely jealous enough to just give me away.....and she was all I knew as I was not allowed to have friends, or even go to school regularly...she was very strange indeed.
After going to my Bio's, she inturn had not told her husband about me at all. I was a secret pregnancy in which she wanted desperatly to abort me, but instead was locked in her room for 9 months, and immediatly gave me to the first bidder even before she left the hospital. (My adoptive mother worked in Maternity at the time and my paperwork crossed her desk as the "Missing baby") Apparently she told him she was babysitting me and one Sunday brought me before the church and her husband confessing her sin. This is what I've been told.
So from extensive physical abuse, the school system removed me from her care within a year. I went into a few foster homes and at 9 met my adoptive parents....who were old. (to me that was) So I tested them to the limits. I'd been given away so many times, why not them too. So at 17, I moved out after graduating HS. Got involved in the occult,sexually active, (And thank God I had some morals because you can't imagine what kind of things others around me were doing) I got pregnant at 22 and my Mom treated me like I was 13. But the guy was nowhere near my type and he practically raped me so I had no intention of telling him about it. But, the devil convinced me to "Do the right thing"...so I told him. And he wanted an abortion. So...what to do? I am not into abortions, and I don't want to be with him either...so I prayed for 3 days straight, pleaing with God...."God, IF you are real, make this baby too big to have an abortion."
I was 11 weeks along when he forced me to go to the clinic. I went in, ready to jump off the table, lie and say had it and be done with him....when the technician looked at the ultra-sound and said.."__________, this baby is too big for this procedure, you can not have an abortion today...you have to reschedule." At that moment, I Knew there was God. And 3 weeks later when I went for my first pre-natal appointment, I was 14 weeks according to their monitor...the exact amount of weeks the abortion clinic had said I was. This is part one....I have yet to meet Christ at this point. But that is for another day
God Bless
After her husband died, she gave me back to my biological mother suddenly...and I had no idea who this woman was. And the reason being that on the pastors death bed, he asked to see me and apparently disregarded her...in her eyes. Which caused her to become extremely jealous enough to just give me away.....and she was all I knew as I was not allowed to have friends, or even go to school regularly...she was very strange indeed.
After going to my Bio's, she inturn had not told her husband about me at all. I was a secret pregnancy in which she wanted desperatly to abort me, but instead was locked in her room for 9 months, and immediatly gave me to the first bidder even before she left the hospital. (My adoptive mother worked in Maternity at the time and my paperwork crossed her desk as the "Missing baby") Apparently she told him she was babysitting me and one Sunday brought me before the church and her husband confessing her sin. This is what I've been told.
So from extensive physical abuse, the school system removed me from her care within a year. I went into a few foster homes and at 9 met my adoptive parents....who were old. (to me that was) So I tested them to the limits. I'd been given away so many times, why not them too. So at 17, I moved out after graduating HS. Got involved in the occult,sexually active, (And thank God I had some morals because you can't imagine what kind of things others around me were doing) I got pregnant at 22 and my Mom treated me like I was 13. But the guy was nowhere near my type and he practically raped me so I had no intention of telling him about it. But, the devil convinced me to "Do the right thing"...so I told him. And he wanted an abortion. So...what to do? I am not into abortions, and I don't want to be with him either...so I prayed for 3 days straight, pleaing with God...."God, IF you are real, make this baby too big to have an abortion."
I was 11 weeks along when he forced me to go to the clinic. I went in, ready to jump off the table, lie and say had it and be done with him....when the technician looked at the ultra-sound and said.."__________, this baby is too big for this procedure, you can not have an abortion today...you have to reschedule." At that moment, I Knew there was God. And 3 weeks later when I went for my first pre-natal appointment, I was 14 weeks according to their monitor...the exact amount of weeks the abortion clinic had said I was. This is part one....I have yet to meet Christ at this point. But that is for another day
God Bless
hi friend
