how can you know if he/she really is God's will for you?

[blessing]

how can anyone know?

 

[KeilCoppes]

how can anyone know?

I was at a singles conference late last year, and the speaker made a good point. It's a better question to ask if we are being wise and obedient in our choice. Do we really believe that we will be able to thwart God's secret will by making a wrong choice in a mate? If we do, then God will never get much of His will in that area. What we need to be concerned about is being obedient to God's revealed will in Scripture.

God's will is expressed in two branches - His revealed will, which we learn of in Scripture, and His secret will, which we don't know until things happen.

Try thinking of this: If you make a wrong choice and marry the wrong person, then you have tons of places where God's will is thwarted. If God planned matches

A<->B, C<->D

and you being A choose to marry person D, then we have God's plan or will thwarted in matches

(wrong) A<->D (wrong), E?<->B (wrong), (wrong) C<->F?

And if E and F were supposed to marry G and H, then those matches thwart God's will, and so forth and so on, with the possibility of almost an infinity of places where God doesn't get His will done.

I personally don't believe God's secret will gets defeated that way - I have an infinite God who does rule the universe from galaxies down to the last blade of grass. There are so many times when I don't know why He chooses to do things, or ordains difficulties, but I do know that He says He makes all things to work for my good - including difficulties, and evil in the world. I also know that He holds me accountable for my actions. If I say that what scripture says or what happens in life is unfair (such as in Rom 9), who am I to speak back to God? The divine potter can do what He wants with the clay. And yet, iit is the duty of the clay to do whatever it can to be obedient to the instructions that He does give.

The ultimate question with regard to a mate and God's will needs to be "what does the 'right' one mean". (1) There is 'right' in my book which along with a dollar will get you a cup of coffee when compared to God's 'right'). (2) There is what scripture says about what is 'right' with marriage (which I seek) - God's revealed will. (3) And lastly there is God's secret will, which I won't ever know until after the fact. Given my human failings, (1) may be flawed, (2) is present, and (3) is unknown (I am not a prophet). Of the three, I know (3) will happen (and God blesses obedience, though not necessarily with circumstances). In the meantime, God requires me to walk righteously, so all I can do is strive to follow (2), His revealed will - and it doesn't have my name in there anywhere. I just have to trust God and walk.

It's a different way to live, knowing that at the same time I am responsible, and yet God has ordained all things. I can't put it together in my head and reduce God to human thinking - I just have to accept it. His thoughts are greater than mine. But I know that He makes all things (even my imperfect choices) to work to the good of those who love Him, even chance events as the lot cast in the lap of the king.

I'm well aware that there are many who disagree, sometimes vehemently, but I find it a great peace to live for the God who in scripture says He rules all things, even though I don't know it all. How do I know who the right one is in God's will? I don't, but I trust in God's providence as He knows, and I work to seek in wisdom the one who seeks to serve God and makes my soul sing. :^)

pax

-kc

 

[LifeInYou]

I do not believe God has a certain, special someone for each of us and if we don't find him/her we aren't doing His will or on His path. God will (imo) permit us to marry whomever we choose because we are free-willed, choosing beings. If we choose someone who also has Christ at the center of their life, who we love, and who has similiar beliefs/goals/interests as we do, I think the marraige will be prosperous for the Lord and each person will be more *able* to accomplish their special purposes for God. If you choose someone who significantly differs from you in areas such as these, than you may not be as connected with one another or as supportive of eachother's plans/desires. In essence, the marraige will be more difficult (imo) and less productive for God. So the question is, what is more important to you?

Sometimes we come across people who we have GREAT chemistry with, when we imagine our lives shared with them, we picture an adventurous, passionate, thrilling time together, but then we think about what we would accomplish for God together and it seems, well....lacking. Then we imagine ourselves with others and we picture very little passion, if any at all, and little adventure and excitement, but at the same time, we see that together, we would accomplish amazing things for the Lord.

My dilemma is...can a relationship have both elements? I certainly will not compromise in the 'spiritual' area, but can I have the passionate/adventurous side as well? *pout* I want it ALL!! hehe

 

[catch22]

I can't explain how you know....I think you just know. The you just have to hope the other person "knows" too.

 

[shania]

Catch22,
Are you married or single?
Well I thought I knew one time and what a disappointment to find out I was wrong. I just take everything one day at a time now. If I meet someone I"ll take things nice and slow and nothing will happen until we are both certain that it is God's will.

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

here's what you do. Pray that God will prepare you to be the wife/husband who he desires for you to be (If that's his plan for u to marry) and also pray that he would be preparing the person you are to marry. And you can ask him to reveal to both him and you who you are to be with in HIS perfect time. And ask him to close any doors where the people are not right for you and just be patient and focus on him.

 

[arkon3]

I agree with Ashes

 

[klewlis]

My dilemma is...can a relationship have both elements? I certainly will not compromise in the 'spiritual' area, but can I have the passionate/adventurous side as well? *pout* I want it ALL!! hehe

of course you can have both! I know plenty of couples like this.

 

[charligirl]

'Should I get Married?' by M Blaine Smith is a great book and covers this very question!

 

[mina]

jeremiah 17: 9 tells us that the heart is deceptive and exceedingly wicked, who can know it? I think that we can't just rely on our own desire and feelings because those can be deceiving and easily swayed. What I have always thought is that If you and the other person can serve the Lord better together than apart then it shows God's guidence in the matter. I've also heard to run towards the Lord as fast as you can and look around and see the one who is running next to you. I dunno though. I'm pretty confused about it in my life right now.

 

[musikbebe]

LifeInYou, I agree! I want it all too I think you just kind of "know" when a person is the one. Look for a person who is centered in Jesus. What you can do is pray. and pray and pray and pray lol. just like Ashes said. lots of good advice here.

 

[pelham]

I believe that people that choose someone and just get married are taking a big chance that their marriage will not work. Divorce has become a known remedy for this hastiness. I seeking a mate, would pray that the Lord would send to me the man or woman best suited to be my husband or wife and make no specifications of my own. He knows all and knows us all and promised to keep no good thing from us. We must simply go to the source.

 

[DontWorryBeHappy]

I think that when it's the right one, you just know. As long as you are with someone who holds your beliefs as strongly as you do and doesn't compromise their faith and you think you could live with that person's day to day changes, you will be on the right path. Just keep your heart open. God will tell you when and if it's right.

 

[Tenorvoice]

I belive that God has someone chosen for you to marry. Unless.....He has blessed you with the Spiritual gift of singleness. ok you might be asking how can I know if I have this gift or not?? The only way to tell is ask yourself this question "Do I or, have I ever thought about getting married or being married?" If you have then you DO NOT have this gift of singleness.


Now to the point about when will you know when that person has come along. You will know because you will be saying that "This is not someone that I could live with, this is someone that I CAN NOT LIVE WITHOUT!

What could be worse than being unmarried?

Being married to the wrong person.

If you wait for Gods choicethen you will not miss it.

one last thing......... Do not let anything(even a good thing) deture you from Gods will. If you stay there then in His time He will bring you the one that you NEED!

peace be with all

 

[markmayer23]

well, you will know it by having an impression on the other person that you could live together inspite of all the difference that you both have... You can assure it when God Himself is at work and everything is getting smooth, no hindrances, no hesitations, no bad signs. You will feel it when many people are supporting both of you and encourage you for marriage. And God has put a desire in your hearts to be married someday...

 

[markmayer23]

you will only know it when both you are in a right time, right age... and also you should better ask yourselves if you can, you truly love the person and the person also truly loves you, and you are ready for a long lasting relationship filled with happiness and trials... just pray always and devote yourselves to God. Will God be glorified if ever you will pursue it?