How can the husband help?

[dbhost]

I am pretty sure there are other guys out there thinking this. I'm pushy enough to ask...

How can us guys, your husbands, help you, our wives, who are dealing with TTC issues make it an easier experience?

I ask because my wife is having some issues... (Her cycle is WAY off due to a very high level of stress we have both been put through with a VERY bad job she had, doing our own wedding with very little help, and the passing of a favorite aunt... We are going to see the OB/GYN in two weeks to see what we can do to medically help this.).

Anyway, she is scared about the problems with her cycle and the thought of fertility issues hangs with us a bit. I want to make sure I am doing everything I can to put her at ease, help her get back on track physically, and keep myself ready and able to give her the right ingredients at the right time as it were...

So any pointers you ladies can give me, and also any advice other former TTC Dads, or other TTC want to be Dads on what you are doing would be greatly appreciated...

Thanks...

 

[lovesdolphins]

1 - Happy Birthday

2 - Just be there for your wife - support her in her trials; pray with her, etc. Be a strong shoulder for her to cry on when she gets sad. The fact that you are posting here shows me that you are interested - just be there for her. If you see that she seems to feel like she's broken - tell her she's not - that's she's perfect.

 

[felinity]

I echo a lot of what lovesdolphins says. Be actively supportive, if that makes sense. Go to doctor's appointments, if you're able to. You might give her small gifts to help her feel better when you face disappointments, or try to plan activities together. Do things that help her to know that having a child is important to you, too... but don't forget to remind her that you love her for herself. Don't let trying to conceive take over your marriage, if you can help it, and do what you can to enjoy life as a happily married couple, without the added complications that a baby will cause in the future.

 

[dbhost]

Cool, so I guess I am on the right track then... That is a good thing...

I know a lot of my friends aren't really that supportive of their wives... I personally think that is begging for trouble... I've been down the big D road once, and I do NOT want to go there again. Especially with the wife I have now. God has blessed me more than I can tell you about with her...

 

[Assisi]

I found it really helpful that my husband would let me talk about the same things over and over and over again, and still actively participate in the conversation

 

[felinity]

I know a lot of my friends aren't really that supportive of their wives... I personally think that is begging for trouble...

I mentioned it because my husband is wonderful and kind and amazingly awesome, but he doesn't really get it. He's had less time out of school than I have, and while he wants kids, he doesn't fully understand the urgency with which I want them. So he's supportive, but he's not supportive, if you understand my meaning.

I found it really helpful that my husband would let me talk about the same things over and over and over again, and still actively participate in the conversation

It sounds like you're very blessed in that department.

 

[tigercub]

I found it really helpful that my husband would let me talk about the same things over and over and over again, and still actively participate in the conversation

what she said

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

reassurance was big for me... I needed to hear that even if we couldn't concieve, we was still so proud to be my husband... TTC problems make you feel like a failure as a wife sometimes...