How can I know the difference between a test and a curse?

prudent_commenter said:

What is very disturbing about this case is that I kept me safe. All this beating around the bush with the jobs kept me safe, and healthy, and greatly increased my knowledge and wisdom. The latter is because from a distance you observe many things that you would not have observed if you were in the middle of them.
Through this, God gave me seeing and knowing things by observation and not by doing.

The main concern is the job. For a very long time I could not find work. But God never let me die. Right in the last moment He showed up with solutions. But, eventually this "game" will be over.

Death does not frighten me, neither the next world, regardless of what it is. But I don't know what God is planning. This may be the final test where He kills me. Or it may be just another test. If He's going to kill me, why the wait? It's a long wait even jobless. I don't get the situation.
If He wanted something from my side He would've let me know. He doesn't let me know, would imply He doesn't want anything. I can assume what, the intent is death or torture?
And you the ironic part, you know what it is? I'm actually better off than most. Blessed in many ways that even myself cannot comprehend (others see the blessings, but not me).

I just wish it was faster. Whatever He's planning, just to get it over with. I Spent my entire life in study, for what? If I'm right, all will be useless.

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prudent_commenter said:

It's the investment that is curious. He wouldn't have made me such if He planned to let me die. Great efforts are taken to stay away from the corruption of the world, to preserve the body and mind, and to gather knowledge, and form wisdom from it. All this.. is His doing.
And the life is holy. But why, that's the question.

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prudent_commenter said:

I tell the same to those that think they walk in the spirit. I give them my example, and they don't take it very well.

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