Hospital Anyone?

[quietpraiyze]

This came up during a counseling session...

What is it for YOU about going to the hospital when you're having an episode or a rough time with the illness that you don't want to go?

Why the resistance?

I'm asking because when I'm doing okay and I'm rational, I know when I get sick the best place for me is the mental hospital. All that's gonna happen is I sleep, bath, eat, get meds...get regulated or like rebooted then sent home. Length of time varies but that's about it. BUT when I have an episode I fight tooth and nail to not go to the hospital. It's like they're trying to take me to a death camp or something. Going to the hospital is not only not part of my vocabulary, it's not part of my DNA.

Somewhere in the midst of everything a hospitalization seems to signify defeat.

What does a hospitalization mean to you? What does it represent?

 

[Loven God]

I remember when I first went into the hospital . I was scared of the other people because I did not know what they would be like . I felt I needed help but I was not crazy and they were , would they try to hurt me . I could not sleep at night because I was scared someone might come into my room .
Would they give me drugs to dope me up all the time to the point I would not know what I was doing or not be able to wake up . Would they ever let me out . Would I be able to see my husband . It turned out to be not so scary after a couple of days . But I still hate going .

 

[quietpraiyze]

Thanks Loven but now knowing what you know why do you still hate going? Do you feel the same way about the "regular" hospital?

*I'm just asking to gauge my own experience

 

[Loven God]

Yes I still hate going because I get sent to diffrent hospitals . The last one I was in was way diffrent from the first one I was in , they had people talking to them self and starting fights . Hitting there heads on the walls and eating paper . I did not not know how to handle all that and I pushed to get out of there as fast as I could . I was there only 3 days but needed to be there longer but had to get out .
Regular hospitals do not a problem for me at all . Not unless I have to stay to long then it causes manic and depression moods and I find myself wanting to climbing the walls .

 

[quietpraiyze]

Thanks Loven God. I was just really wondering if others had the same kind of aversion to going to a mental hospital as I do. I've never experienced the kind of scene you described. I guess because they're big on the "rubber room" and restraints. They do this thing called "hands on" in a blink when people start to get too excited. Five or six of the staff will lay hands on you pick you up and the next thing you know you're in restraints. They don't stand for people messing up the peace. If you can't self restrain they will help you. :o

 

[St. Paul]

I mostly hate the hospital because I find it boring. In the end it helps me tremendously but I still hate it. I usually end up in the hospital every March or April. For some reason that's when my symptoms kick in. I've had manic episodes the past 2 years. The hospital seems to help level me out. I think its just because my medication wears off and I need a little fine tuning.

 

[quietpraiyze]

I mostly hate the hospital because I find it boring. In the end it helps me tremendously but I still hate it. I usually end up in the hospital every March or April. For some reason that's when my symptoms kick in. I've had manic episodes the past 2 years. The hospital seems to help level me out. I think its just because my medication wears off and I need a little fine tuning.

Wow I was just thinking about this maybe a little over a week ago. It's interesting that you should say your bipolar acts up in the Spring. For some reason it's been mostly Spring and Summer for me. I don't know why that is. I've wondered if it has something to do with all the outside activity and the energy levels because of it around me. It's very interesting...

Fine tuning...I like the way you put that!

 

[St. Paul]

Wow I was just thinking about this maybe a little over a week ago. It's interesting that you should say your bipolar acts up in the Spring. For some reason it's been mostly Spring and Summer for me. I don't know why that is. I've wondered if it has something to do with all the outside activity and the energy levels because of it around me. It's very interesting...

Fine tuning...I like the way you put that!

Yeah, I actually just discussed this with my doctor last week. I changed doctors after my last episode because my previous psychiatrist ignored my "things are getting a lot worse." He just kept telling me I'm doing fine! LOL!

Anyways, I was talking to my new doctor and he asked if I got depressed more in the fall/winter because it starts to get dark and gloomy and the weather stinks here in Michigan. So I told him no, surprisingly I seem to get worse in the spring for some reason! I have no idea why. I think it might be because I had a job the past 2 years and the stress of the job triggered my manic symptoms. That's at least my guess.

I'm on social security so I don't have to work, I just thought it might help to have a part-time job to keep me busy. But its not worth it if I'm going to always end up in the hospital over it. I was only working 15-24 hours a week. I unloaded delivery trucks and did stock for Michaels and Target. I'm actually debating as I type this whether I should try working again. I don't know what to do.