Hopeless or Less Hope?

[DeAnn]

Hello to all,

I just registered on this forum. I think I just wanted to share with strangers tonite. Today i am feeling so depressed. I feel very hopeless. I have ben struggling with so many things for the past couple of years. Sometimes I feel like I'm cursed. Maybe I have chronic depression-I don't know. It comes and goes. I have been struggling with finances for a long time now. Ever since i graduated with my degree, have not been able to find th job I want and the pay i want. It has been ay over four years. I just feel very tired. Ihave felt like this mauy times before but this time I totally feel like giving up on hope. Life is not enjoyable anymore. I have learned a lot and have omplained but I have always bounced back onth road of faith. Tonite I am not sure. It has been too long.

And let me say this before i go on, I do not need any one to spiritualise an answer. What i am feeling is very real. I don't need any 'Job friends' responses either. I do not need someone right now to tell me 'pick up the boot straps and go on'. I'll do that in time- I hope. I am jsut having a pity party I guess. I just saw this link and decided to tart post.

Anyways, as I was saying, maybe I jsut want someone out there to lift me up in prayer. I really feel hopeless today. I have been in moments like these but this is way further than where i used to be. I know what the Bible says but I have been in my situation so long that I think Iam giving up hope of ever having to enjoy life the way I want. There are good htings that are happening people that I know and I now i am really believeing that God has forgoten about me. I was in a situation a couple of years ago in which I almot lost my life. i must admit, iI wonder why I was saved from leaving this world then. I could have been spared all of this despondency and hopelessness. Yes, it is thanksgiving and I can thank God for hte simple things, but it is certainly not nice when you can't enjoy the simple thinkgs in life without having to worry about bills and such. And there are other things in my life that just add a burden to the whole thing. I'll get into them one of these days with you all-if there is a need. Right now, I just thought that i had accomplished something and then I can't seem to get anywhere with it in this life. It just do not make sense that after all this time God will allow you to accomplish and then not give you an opporunity. the right moment jsut seems to allude me. I don't know.

Anywas, thansk for listening. There's more but right now that is all I can type right now. I don't even know what i am looking for and why I need strangers to listen to me gripe (rueful smile) but I just feel like it guess. Anyways, enjoy your thansgiving guys. And all the best. I believe for you more than i do for me.

So sorry about my grammatical errors and bad spelling. Please overlook my faults. Thank you for your time.

DeAnn

 

[Sojourner<><]

Hi there DeAnn. I just want to let you know that I am on the same page with you tonight. In fact, I'll just cut right to the chase, I'm just about ready to throw in the towel. Quite frankly I feel like a worthless piece of dung that struts around as if it thinks it can be magically transformed into a real person. I've been alienated by my friends and family because they don't understand me and things have just been getting worse. I'm nearly in complete isolation as it is and I've begun to seriously contemplate suicide for the first time in quite a long while.

*ahem*

Sorry, I just had to get that out. I suppose that makes me bad company but hey, if it helps you to see something good about your situation, then that's awesome.

Tell you what, I'll pray for you if you pray for me.

 

[~HopeFloats~]

There are so many days I feel hopeless wondering why my life is the way it is.. I try my hardest to make a honest change and well nothing seems to change a nice break in anything i would love..

I have no words of wisdom but I too feel your pain and hope one day we are all better because of it

 

[WVCoalEater]

I too am going through a very rough time.


I do not have my wife, and kids with me at the moment, I lost my job, and my home for the time being. I do not know when I will get to see or talk to my family again, or if they even want me back.

Over the years I have tried to give them the things that need, but I failed every time. Sometimes I think maybe I should fade from their lives. Let my wife remarry to someone who can help her, and make her happy. And, to let my kids have a daddy who they can look up to, and learn from.

I miss my family so much that the pain is unbareble at times, but yet I try to go on. I hope that I can reconcile with them, but so many things are going against me to prevent it that is is unreal.

 

[thepianist]

Hello to all,

I just registered on this forum. I think I just wanted to share with strangers tonite. Today i am feeling so depressed. I feel very hopeless. I have ben struggling with so many things for the past couple of years. Sometimes I feel like I'm cursed. Maybe I have chronic depression-I don't know. It comes and goes. I have been struggling with finances for a long time now. Ever since i graduated with my degree, have not been able to find th job I want and the pay i want. It has been ay over four years. I just feel very tired. Ihave felt like this mauy times before but this time I totally feel like giving up on hope. Life is not enjoyable anymore. I have learned a lot and have omplained but I have always bounced back onth road of faith. Tonite I am not sure. It has been too long.

And let me say this before i go on, I do not need any one to spiritualise an answer. What i am feeling is very real. I don't need any 'Job friends' responses either. I do not need someone right now to tell me 'pick up the boot straps and go on'. I'll do that in time- I hope. I am jsut having a pity party I guess. I just saw this link and decided to tart post.

Anyways, as I was saying, maybe I jsut want someone out there to lift me up in prayer. I really feel hopeless today. I have been in moments like these but this is way further than where i used to be. I know what the Bible says but I have been in my situation so long that I think Iam giving up hope of ever having to enjoy life the way I want. There are good htings that are happening people that I know and I now i am really believeing that God has forgoten about me. I was in a situation a couple of years ago in which I almot lost my life. i must admit, iI wonder why I was saved from leaving this world then. I could have been spared all of this despondency and hopelessness. Yes, it is thanksgiving and I can thank God for hte simple things, but it is certainly not nice when you can't enjoy the simple thinkgs in life without having to worry about bills and such. And there are other things in my life that just add a burden to the whole thing. I'll get into them one of these days with you all-if there is a need. Right now, I just thought that i had accomplished something and then I can't seem to get anywhere with it in this life. It just do not make sense that after all this time God will allow you to accomplish and then not give you an opporunity. the right moment jsut seems to allude me. I don't know.

Anywas, thansk for listening. There's more but right now that is all I can type right now. I don't even know what i am looking for and why I need strangers to listen to me gripe (rueful smile) but I just feel like it guess. Anyways, enjoy your thansgiving guys. And all the best. I believe for you more than i do for me.

So sorry about my grammatical errors and bad spelling. Please overlook my faults. Thank you for your time.

DeAnn

DeAnn, you will be in my prayers, dear.

 

[DeAnn]

Thank you all for taking the time to respond. And thanks for the prayers. I am grateful for the responses. Those are the realness of a conversaiton I am looking for. I sure needed t feel like a human being and for someone to relate to me as a human being. I am usually known as the strong person and my friends and family all rely on me as the emotionally strong one. I am the one that usually give the advice to the eople surrounding me. Alas!, being a human person, you'll never feel like that all the time. People around me also have these great expectations of me and sometimes I feel like Sojourner-they do not understand me.
Thanks for sharing your unique piece with me. I guess we all need each other-whether in cyber world or not...(smile)
Anyways,I am feeling little better today-still not quite that great, but I woke up this morning as least..and that is a start. I hope today I can find more hope s the day goes on. Still don't feel 100 percnt up to it. still feel like God is not the 'Jesus loves me this i know ' God..Frankly, I am not quite sure about Him that much anymore..

Yeah, i know i am not the only one going through stuff but everyone's stuff is most certainly unique in their eyes..man, it must be really rough for you all that shared. I do hope that hope for you all will increase and not decrease..(Hopemore and not Hopeless)

Appreciate the sincerity..I will visit this site more often..maybe we can help each other out as far as listening, not being judgemental, critical or insensitive- strangers but not soo much strangers, you know? ah well..anyways, I got to go but i will visit you all again..It was niceto see you guys respond..take care

 

[Jimmy West]

Hello to all,

I just registered on this forum. I think I just wanted to share with strangers tonite. Today i am feeling so depressed. I feel very hopeless. I have ben struggling with so many things for the past couple of years. Sometimes I feel like I'm cursed. Maybe I have chronic depression-I don't know. It comes and goes. I have been struggling with finances for a long time now. Ever since i graduated with my degree, have not been able to find th job I want and the pay i want. It has been ay over four years. I just feel very tired. Ihave felt like this mauy times before but this time I totally feel like giving up on hope. Life is not enjoyable anymore. I have learned a lot and have omplained but I have always bounced back onth road of faith. Tonite I am not sure. It has been too long.

And let me say this before i go on, I do not need any one to spiritualise an answer. What i am feeling is very real. I don't need any 'Job friends' responses either. I do not need someone right now to tell me 'pick up the boot straps and go on'. I'll do that in time- I hope. I am jsut having a pity party I guess. I just saw this link and decided to tart post.

Anyways, as I was saying, maybe I jsut want someone out there to lift me up in prayer. I really feel hopeless today. I have been in moments like these but this is way further than where i used to be. I know what the Bible says but I have been in my situation so long that I think Iam giving up hope of ever having to enjoy life the way I want. There are good htings that are happening people that I know and I now i am really believeing that God has forgoten about me. I was in a situation a couple of years ago in which I almot lost my life. i must admit, iI wonder why I was saved from leaving this world then. I could have been spared all of this despondency and hopelessness. Yes, it is thanksgiving and I can thank God for hte simple things, but it is certainly not nice when you can't enjoy the simple thinkgs in life without having to worry about bills and such. And there are other things in my life that just add a burden to the whole thing. I'll get into them one of these days with you all-if there is a need. Right now, I just thought that i had accomplished something and then I can't seem to get anywhere with it in this life. It just do not make sense that after all this time God will allow you to accomplish and then not give you an opporunity. the right moment jsut seems to allude me. I don't know.

Anywas, thansk for listening. There's more but right now that is all I can type right now. I don't even know what i am looking for and why I need strangers to listen to me gripe (rueful smile) but I just feel like it guess. Anyways, enjoy your thansgiving guys. And all the best. I believe for you more than i do for me.

So sorry about my grammatical errors and bad spelling. Please overlook my faults. Thank you for your time.

DeAnn

DeAnn, I have some suggestions and then I will pray for you.

First, give yourself to God entirely. Give yourself to him 100% mind, body and spirit. Don't hold anything back. He will never take everything, but he is blessed by the committment. Next, make it your purpose in life to be a blessing to him at all times. Make his needs your needs. Make his desires your desires. Make his priorities your priorities. Talk to him often throughout the day. You do not have to pray to talk to him. Just talk to him like he is your loving father. For, he is. Everytime you think of him, tell him that you love him. Live for him. Turn everything over to him, for he cares for what is his. Express your faith in his ability to supply your every need. There must be faith for there to be supply.

Most Heavenly Father, I pray for my friend, DeAnn. I ask you to smile on her with your love and goodness. I ask you to bless her with favor in everything that she does. Please hear her cries. Please hear her pleas. Help her, for she is your loving child. I pray this in the Name of Jesus, AMEN!
www.gth-ministries.org

 

[Sojourner<><]

You're very welcome DeAnn. God Bless and have a happy thanksgiving.

 

[Anti Existance]

lets see i have a website that contains tips and links for financial advice, you might want to look into it.
http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=2085244

What your depression concerns , i've been there and the darkness can just be totally painfull and overwhelming, this book saved me from depression and suicide , http://home.quicknet.nl/qn/prive/kes/cycle.pdf called the Cycle of the Soul. The feeling of hopelesness and despair can be taken away from you if you only take the effort to look up and see the light.

http://www.aleroy.com/Abetway.htm read this and then
http://www.aleroy.com/board00.htm some of the experiences here, they can be really encouraging. *hugs* i love you so much =) , i hope that it may be inspirational.

 

[DeAnn]

Most Heavenly Father, I pray for my friend, DeAnn. I ask you to smile on her with your love and goodness. I ask you to bless her with favor in everything that she does. Please hear her cries. Please hear her pleas. Help her, for she is your loving child. I pray this in the Name of Jesus, AMEN!

....And AMEN!!!
Hello Jimmy,
thank you for that wonderful prayer. Just keep doing that for me, okay?

Your suggestions are the best suggestions and boy do I know what to do-spiritually that is..I know that I need to take everything to God in prayer and all that..I grew up in church by the way, so I know what to do. I will do that (and trust me I have had my share of the sack cloth and ashes) but I guess when you are in a situation so long you sorta lose sight-being human of course and you don't seem to believe in those suggestions..it's like why bother? That's where i am--I must admit I am not so much there now, I am slowly moving away as the day goes on and I keep coming back to this site to read at intervals as much as I have the time today (thank God for day off) I also see there are some lovely people out there and I think it's jsut the sincerity and practicality of the responses that I need. No one is condemning or judging, or offering advice right now and I appreciate that. just being there is good enough for me right now...
thanks again

 

[blessedmomof5]

Deann,

i too am feeling the same as you as as some of the others.....
maybe more like sojouner.....ahem....but, i keep going. why only God knows why. at least thats what i am assuming. i will say a pray for you. since i find it hard to pray for me......i wish you well my friend.
Denise

 

[DeAnn]

[Anti Existance]lets see i have a website that contains tips and links for financial advice, you might want to look into it.


What your depression concerns , i've been there and the darkness can just be totally painfull and overwhelming, this book saved me from depression and suicide , called the Cycle of the Soul. The feeling of hopelesness and despair can be taken away from you if you only take the effort to look up and see the light.

read this and then
some of the experiences here, they can be really encouraging. *hugs* i love you so much =) , i hope that it may be inspirational.

Thanks to you too AntiExistence..I will most certainly look into the links..
Speaking of suicide..I will confess that last night was so low that I thought that if i was brave enough I would just rid myself of my existence..but I am afraid i am not one of those brave ones..It's a blessing in disguise and as low as I have come, I could not do it to myself..Maybe I also think-what if God's word is indeed true and I come out the loser? i really don't want to find out..I'll stay miserable wishing I could do cease to exist but not finding the courage to actually put it in reality..but those thoughts are real--i tell you..

Thanks again..that is an intriguing name--AntiExistence..someday-if you will-please indulge me as to why you chose that name-if there is a story behind it...Thanks a lot...

 

[DeAnn]

By the way Sojourner, you are not bad company..Sorry I was in a selfish mode and did not see the depth of your pain also...I am reading again and I wanted you to know that too...
We can both pray for each other...I guess no harm in praying for each other right? Probably the best thing When I get a hang of this thing, I 'll send those smiley things and hugs and all of that good stuff to you too..All the best...

 

[DeAnn]

Deann,

i too am feeling the same as you as as some of the others.....
maybe more like sojouner.....ahem....but, i keep going. why only God knows why. at least thats what i am assuming. i will say a pray for you. since i find it hard to pray for me......i wish you well my friend.
Denise

Hi Denise, I know exactly what you mean when you say finding it hard to pray for yourself..It's easier to believe for others but it's so difficult to believe for myself..I wish you well too and thank you for your prayers. You can have Jimmy's prayers for you too..it's a nice prayer..I'll pray with you too..

Oh here are the smileys..

DeAnn

 

[blessedmomof5]

thank you DeAnn,

Are you feeling better? I am hoping so.And i will bet there will be more prayers and people feeling like us coming your way. nice to meet you.
Denise

 

[Sojourner<><]

By the way Sojourner, you are not bad company..Sorry I was in a selfish mode and did not see the depth of your pain also...I am reading again and I wanted you to know that too...
We can both pray for each other...I guess no harm in praying for each other right? Probably the best thing When I get a hang of this thing, I 'll send those smiley things and hugs and all of that good stuff to you too..All the best...

Hey, no worries. You gave me a good excuse to rant about things for 30 seconds or so. It did make me feel better by the way.