Hook Me.

briareos said:

Brinny

I know exactly how I feel, dark, death, lonely, despair, loss, sadness, wonder, sacred, hushed, silence, all of these things... I just don't see a pic that shows it well.

Why don't you find a picture for me and tell me why you chose it.

This is a better way to judge how good I am at impressing my thoughts and feelings onto others through writing

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i'm kinda a fledgling at this, but i'll read the poem again and get a stronger sense of what it emotes for me and see what i can find....

actually let's not muck up this fine thread... if you do choose to find a pic for me, send it to me in the form of a message, i'd be thrilled to see it!

briareos said:

actually let's not muck up this fine thread... if you do choose to find a pic for me, send it to me in the form of a message, i'd be thrilled to see it!

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Ok. Will do

motherprayer said:

She worked to juggle her stroller, baby bag, and two daughters as she stepped off of the bus. Her whole life had changed forever. God had told her what she needed to do, and yet she still didn't feel as though she had the strength...

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The constant bump of words in an effort to portray correctly rather than effortlessly and not leaning on the beauty that is sensed from afar... took away from it's effect (in my humble opinion) but the content is there

Good job!

I think the simpler you can say it the better, do not over elaborate or define, do not remove the opportunity or requirement for your reader to create their own grand picture by painting a strict one for them it needs to run across the paper like a smooth running stream, no bumps screeches or halts that many words will bring, it needs to read seamless and resound inside , paint a picture and let us wonder to understand, when you break it down completely with many words you remove the wonder of it all.

Keep up the good work.

My picture of words did not post as a picture.

Did you just paste the url or did you click the pic icon above and place it in the box that appears?

Rising to his feet he stood frozen to the spot, he had two choices, throw away his career and possibly his life to protect an old fossil and some harlot., harlot? but I love her.. and she wants to love me, and I want you to love her, show her love she has never known

briareos said:

Did you just paste the url or did you click the pic icon above and place it in the box that appears?

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I made the picture of words myself in here.

it didn't show?

You find evil doesn't stand up and say "hey I'm evil and I'm here to ruin your lives, I'm here to try and steal your heart from the Father so I can crush you in my grasp". no it much more subtle than that "Hey baby call me Dracula lets live forever, I'm the wolfman lets howl at the moon, I'm Casper all friendly and sweet"

Love them, hate them fear them or wish to slay them, anything to distract mans eyes from the Father.

and that be the truth brother. Amen.

The night was miserable, cold and dark, not a single star shone briightly offering hope that tomorrow would come, every tree hid a monster and ever shadow was a demon waiting to devour,maybe that was just way it looked to me, maybe others saw the soft crisp moonlight, or the warm summer evening breeze, maybe no one else heard the demonic cackles from the shadows.

I am unsure what brought me here, only a year ago I would have given my life to defend the very people I now march against, If you asked me to recall a single instance where i decided I would betray man and God I could not tell you, or find a single act that sent me down this dark path.

The Cathedral and the Followers on the outside appear to be the same, both have the right characters in the right places, both say the right things and worship the right God.

But once you pull back the layers you find the truth is so very different, evil lurks in the heart of man, no doctrine or dogma can erase it, no edict or decree from councils of men can control it, no Law of Man can restrain it, a true monster which devours all.

That is not to say there is nothing which can defeat this evil, Love can triumph where the Law fails, True undying unconditional Love can erase the last traces of darkness and truly free the enslaved human heart.

Only the creator of man, the Father whom sent his only Son to die on behalf of his wayward creation can supply such undying love, no words scribbled by man or doctrine created by man can fill that void.

I sought the Cathedral to find God, and in doing so I have never felt more distant to him, I have filled my heart and soul with more doctrines.

If doctrines and knowledge of mans Doctrines and Traditions could save you, I would be a Savior, instead my heart has turned to stone and I can no longer hear the Father, what cruel Irony, I sought God from those who claimed to know him and have become more unsure of who God is because of it.

Their god is so unlike the Father I once knew, He is so unlike his Son which came to show us the way.

Their god is based on mans traditions and doctrines, a god that who doesn't want to speak directly to his children, but instead speaks only from those pious few, who men heap praise upon, Masters and Rabbis where the Christ said neither should be so.

So now I march against the Followers, my intent is to wipe their kind from the earth, if you were to ask me tomorrow, or a thousand years from now I could offer no justification from the Fathers Love letter to us, revealed by his Son.

However the Cathedral tells us to kill, so we kill, we follow man, we forget the Father and serve the Patriarch.

Somewhere in my Heart, some long lost place inside me somethings cries out, maybe tomorrow I will know, maybe tomorrow I will finally live again, but for tonight I kill again, in the name of the god of the Cathedral.

May God Forgive me, for I can't deny I know what I am about to do.

riveting, my friend.

thanks

---
"Yes delicious isn't it? like little lambs to the slaughter they listen to every word I say and never question it..they have the secret to my undoing on their coffee tables and bed side cabinets, but its so much easier to to hear me preach it at them.. they wont need to mess up their perfect little world by seeking the Father for themselves..and that suits me fine..an unarmed foe is so much easier to slay" Vlad smirked as he sliced deep into his steak, blood oozing onto the plate "Delicious no?"

....and they refuse to wake up....

described perfectly.

briareos said:

The constant bump of words in an effort to portray correctly rather than effortlessly and not leaning on the beauty that is sensed from afar... took away from it's effect (in my humble opinion) but the content is there

Good job!

I think the simpler you can say it the better, do not over elaborate or define, do not remove the opportunity or requirement for your reader to create their own grand picture by painting a strict one for them it needs to run across the paper like a smooth running stream, no bumps screeches or halts that many words will bring, it needs to read seamless and resound inside , paint a picture and let us wonder to understand, when you break it down completely with many words you remove the wonder of it all.

Keep up the good work.

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Thank you! I have gone back and forth about my experiences, as I feel God leading me to write about them, and in the end, I am going to write a book about marriage and spiritual warfare. That was the perspective this piece was coming from, my first experiences after I left my husband. I thought of writing it from a fictional perspective, but I feel the subject matter would be too controversial.

This is the tease I wrote for the novel I'll finish someday. Would you read it?



Ever since Maggie’s husband walked out on her leaving her to raise their two sons, things have went from bad to worse. She lost her job when she stood up to her boss after he tried blackmailing her to get physical which, in turn, made her lose her home. Every apartment she looked at seemed worse than the last and none of the places she applied at has called her back. Now, with the arrival of a social worker that her ex-husband maliciously sent, she finds that if she doesn’t find a new place to live AND a job in a week, she will lose her sons. Then, with a proposal from a complete stranger, Maggie must decide to do what is seemingly crazy and irrational and trust God, or go on with the chance she will lose everything?A Closer Walk with Thee is a superb novel about trusting God when He tells you to do the unimaginable, and the amazing results that come from taking a leap of faith after the One who loves and works out all things for those who love Him.

BleedingHeart said:

The boy who would be known weeks from now as the Lightkiller began his new life standing in a single-file line. The line went off into the distance, ending in a white dot. Aside from the guards posted at regular intervals, this white dot was the only light he could see. All around him was a bluish-grey. He couldn't tell where the walls ended and the floor began. There were no textures: just the guards, the white dot in the distance, and that terrible shade of grey.

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I would read this. Lol dude you're pretty good

AMDG- For the greater glory of God

good grief, where's the rest of it? why you leave us hangin' like that? Please tell me there's more