Homosexuality :(

[WiIISeIIers]

Hey guys! I'm new to this forum, but I was just wondering how christians are supposed to deal with homosexuality?

I am a homosexual, but I don't want to be. I don't think that it's God's plan for me and I'm very depressed about it. I know that there are reform camps for this, to make you into an "ex-gay", but I've tried to follow their steps and nothing works.

Can anyone help me learn how to become attracted to the female body? I am capable of loving women (I've had several girlfriends), but I'm still attracted solely to men.

Help please!

 

[Everlasting33]

Ideally, this would be discussed in a therapuetic setting. However, I would look at the relationships with one's parents to get an idea of the foundations of your feelings. Do you have siblings? If so, are you the first born?

 

[WiIISeIIers]

Ideally, this would be discussed in a therapuetic setting. However, I would look at the relationships with one's parents to get an idea of the foundations of your feelings. Do you have siblings? If so, are you the first born?

I have a younger sister age 14 and I'm age 18. I'm the oldest.

 

[Everlasting33]

Although, it would be difficult to assess anything without therapy, it would be interesting to find out the family dynamics. Were you close to both your parents? did your parents prefer one child over the other? Did you perceive any type of favoriticism?

 

[WiIISeIIers]

Although, it would be difficult to assess anything without therapy, it would be interesting to find out the family dynamics. Were you close to both your parents? did your parents prefer one child over the other? Did you perceive any type of favoriticism?

I REALLY don't want to go to therapy. I feel like that would be admitting that I'm "broken". idk, it would lower my self-esteem.

I'm very close to each of my parents. I've done martial arts with my dad for several years, and we earned our black belts together. He helped me when I was on the school wrestling team and now he's very involved with helping to prepare me for college.

I'm also super close with my mom. I talk to her about school stuff and friend drama. I usually go to her when I have a problem. Not because I don't like my dad, but I want to seem strong to him. I don't want to "whine" to him.

My parents really don't pick favorites as far as I can tell. If anything they're a little busier with me getting ready for college.

 

[Everlasting33]

I REALLY don't want to go to therapy. I feel like that would be admitting that I'm "broken". idk, it would lower my self-esteem..

How do you view homosexuality, without a context of religion behind it?

I'm very close to each of my parents. I've done martial arts with my dad for several years, and we earned our black belts together. He helped me when I was on the school wrestling team and now he's very involved with helping to prepare me for college.

I'm also super close with my mom. I talk to her about school stuff and friend drama. I usually go to her when I have a problem. Not because I don't like my dad, but I want to seem strong to him. I don't want to "whine" to him.

What else did you and your dad do together? Do you feel comfortable discussing feelings of vulunerability to your father?

 

[hope_is_last_to_die]

I can say for sure that you can get help, I know God has given me real help to overcome depression. However I will say that there are many different reasons/causes for depression and so different types of help are needed for this illness. Imo a forum like this cant really give the help you need for the homosexual issue, yes people here can advise whom you should contact for professional help and support and encourage you but you need good professional help.

I think I understand what you mean by your "broken" comments, however I believe that we are all broken in different ways and that God specialises in restoring broken people. Admitting you are broken isnt a weak thing but an honest and brave step on the road to recovery. Ive prayed for you

 

[Tempura]

You aren't any more broken than the rest of us. Whatever you do, don't comdemn yourself with mindless fear. Learn to know who you are (takes time for all of us), be patient. Pray for guidance and follow your heart.

About therapy, the point of it is not forgetting who you are or lowering your self-esteem, it's exactly the opposite. Since you are feeling depressed and confused, I would recommend to give it a try when you feel like it. I had to go to therapy for some years, but I know better now how my mind works and I can accept myself better.
You wouldn't be going to therapy just to get some "anti-gay"-treatment, you'd be going to therapy because you are depressed and confused.

Here in CF, some people feel very strongly about homosexuality, and you probably know it. It took some courage to say what you wanted to say, even if it's just the internet. I'm a heterosexual myself, but have seen life enough to understand that many homosexuals are needlessly living in shame, depression and comdemnation. Now, I'm not the best person I know. I've done some afwul things. But if God loves someone like me, He surely loves you without question. I've had two bisexual grilfriends in the past, and they are very loving and warm people. Have mercy on yourself, be patient, and seek counseling because we aren't supposed to be living in fear or shame.

God bless, said a prayer for you man.

 

[plumsink]

Every single person on this earth is a sinner and flawed. You are, I am. Sometimes someone may have a persistent sin that they in fact know about fully and really want to be rid of. I am reminded of Paul's statement:

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

-Romans 7:14-20

Sometimes a person has a persistent sin that is very hard to remove. Maybe impossible to remove. This in itself can be a lesson from God, to rely on His perfection not a perfection of your own.

It can also be very destructive to focus on legalistic rules instead of on God. Especially since human beings do not apply those rules very fairly. Jesus spoke about adultery at great length in the New Testament and only spoke in passing about homosexuality: yet people in the Church often accept adultery and divorce well enough but not homosexuality. God does not play favorites. Homosexuality is a sin, but it is a sin just like the many sins that pass without notice every day of our lives.

My advice to you is to devote yourself to the core of God's teaching: to love the Lord your God with all your heart and strength, and your neighbor the same as you love yourself. Other than that, let God sort out your sin. Don't obsess about it. Focus on these two only: to love God and your neighbor.

Peace

 

[bsd31]

Hey guys! I'm new to this forum, but I was just wondering how christians are supposed to deal with homosexuality?

I am a homosexual, but I don't want to be. I don't think that it's God's plan for me and I'm very depressed about it. I know that there are reform camps for this, to make you into an "ex-gay", but I've tried to follow their steps and nothing works.

Can anyone help me learn how to become attracted to the female body? I am capable of loving women (I've had several girlfriends), but I'm still attracted solely to men.

Help please!

I'm going to assume this thread will be closed in very short order because even mentioning the subject of homosexuality on these forums is known to send the already over-active mods into hyper-drive. Having said that...

I've never heard anything good about these so-called "reform camps". I don't know the recidivism rate but my understanding is that it's pretty high.

My belief is that you need to find the root of the homosexuality and send Jesus to deal with it. I won't speculate what it is but at some point in your past there is a root that needs to be dealt with. Might be hundreds of them. And when God brings it/them to your mind you will know it/them for what they are. So I would begin with prayer and asking that God would bring to your mind the root cause(s) of the homosexuality and then empower you to deal with it.

Going about it the way you are asking, to somehow become attracted to the female body, is the wrong way to do it. It's more than just a matter of physical attraction to the machinations of one gender or another.

 

[Criada]

I'm moving this thread to the 'Struggles with Sexuality' forum, where we can discuss it without violating any rules

I am homosexual, and in my experience the underlying orientation doesn't change - I know God can do it, He can do anything, but it is very rare that he does.
But - temptation is not a sin, and being attracted to the same gender doesn't mean that you are 'broken' - anymore than an attraction to cream cakes does. This is our temptation, gluttony may be someone else's... we are all sinners, but we are recipients of grace, and God can and will help us to resist whatever sin we are tempted to commit.
You are unmarried - which means lustful thoughts about a girl would be equally sinful - but we do sin sometimes, and there is always forgiveness and a new start.
It isn't easy, I have had many struggles and heartaches over it - but I am married, with 4 wonderful children, and although I still don't find men physically attractive, that isn't the be-all and end-all of a relationship. Love is what matters.
If you were attracted to a beautiful young girl and married her, one day she would be a wrinkly old woman - and not physically attractive - but that wouldn't matter, because you love her for who she is, not what she looks like.

Please PM me any time if you need to talk to someone who has been there and got through... so far at least!

And don't forget that God loves you completely and unconditionally

 

[kc990]

Hi WiIISeIIers, this kind of situation kind of reminds me of something I learned about just recently. Forgive me if I'm wrong as I'm not really sure if this is related to your homosexuality but I thought this might be of help just in case.

It's called intersexual, where about 1 in 2000 people are born with it and it's usually a borderline between male and female. 1 in 1000 children at birth gets surgery for this and I have also learned that some hide the fact that they usually hide that they are intersexed / don't find out they are until later because of the surgery. Basically it touches upon gender identity that's why I brought it up. I think you should look it up a bit more if you think you should. But anyways that was just a thought / opinion.

On the other hand, if you are not and are just simply attracted to male and are completely sure about it, I think you should just completely accept yourself as a homosexual (and since you also said you're capable of loving women, bisexual), instead of trying to deny yourself. I think it's completely normal. I think denying who you truly are and not accepting who you are isn't a good idea. Don't try to change who you are by making yourself attract to only female. I have friends who are homosexual so I quite understand. Besides that, I think you should continue to pray to the Lord regarding this, he will for sure lead you to an answer.

 

[WiIISeIIers]

Thanks everyone for all of the support and kind words! You really have made me feel much better! I will continue to pray to God and I will pray for all of you. Thanks!

 

[C-hope]

I thank everyone for their stories. It really shows the power of God and how much we should really trust in him and only him for healing.

 

[anonym00s]

I'm moving this thread to the 'Struggles with Sexuality' forum, where we can discuss it without violating any rules

I am homosexual, and in my experience the underlying orientation doesn't change - I know God can do it, He can do anything, but it is very rare that he does.
But - temptation is not a sin, and being attracted to the same gender doesn't mean that you are 'broken' - anymore than an attraction to cream cakes does. This is our temptation, gluttony may be someone else's... we are all sinners, but we are recipients of grace, and God can and will help us to resist whatever sin we are tempted to commit.
You are unmarried - which means lustful thoughts about a girl would be equally sinful - but we do sin sometimes, and there is always forgiveness and a new start.
It isn't easy, I have had many struggles and heartaches over it - but I am married, with 4 wonderful children, and although I still don't find men physically attractive, that isn't the be-all and end-all of a relationship. Love is what matters.
If you were attracted to a beautiful young girl and married her, one day she would be a wrinkly old woman - and not physically attractive - but that wouldn't matter, because you love her for who she is, not what she looks like.

Please PM me any time if you need to talk to someone who has been there and got through... so far at least!

And don't forget that God loves you completely and unconditionally

Hello all,
I came across this site and really wanted to join this conversation you are having about homosexuality. I am a Christian who has dealt with homosexual feelings for years. I've never made out with anyone or "gone all the way with someone," but I have done some things I wouldn't do today. There are just a few things I wanted to share about my experience with this struggle.
First I object to the notion that God is the one preventing us from being healed of this struggle. In my opinion He has already done everything needed for us to overcome this, we just have to apply what God has already given us. Even though I have temptations, I am certain of the ability way to FULLY overcome the struggle in Christ. I haven't figured out all the answers but there are a few things I learned along the way:

• Homosexuality is a relationship issue. It is the need for same-sex intimacy. This need is legitmate, but alot of people seem to think that sex is the way to fulfill that need and they are of course wrong.
• In my experience, I have had guy friends that I have known for years and never did anything "gay" with and have had a few that I did some things I shouldn't have. I always found the fully straight relationships more fulfilling and the ones with anything gay just lead to struggles, fighting, and extreme disappointment - even though I am tempted to think the opposite.
• When I get to know another guy well, I get tempted to do something heading in the gay direction (nothing outright crazy, but still). I learned that when I just completely ignore the temptation to instantly get my needs met, the relationship is more fulfilling in the end.
• Stop considering yourself a homosexual. In Christ you are a new creation and that new creation does not struggle with that. As a Christian, you have a spirit, soul and body. Your soul is hte one struggling with this. Your spirit is already perfect in Christ and not struggling with that.
• Stop focusing on homosexuality where you can. Only talk about it if you need to and tell as few people as possible. I say this because for me it made it easier to stay away from that lifestyle when next to no one knew I struggled with it and they would treat me normally. I know that at, at least in the church, we should be able to be more open but this just isn't the case in most instances - sad to say.
• Yes homosexuality is sinful and you should ALWAYS avoid it, but commiting some homosexual act does not make you anymore gay than committing a heterosexual act makes you straight. As a Christian you are in Christ and not homosexual. All your progress is not gone out the window if you screw up, but satan sure will make you think it is - don't buy it. When satan reminds you of your past (that you repented of), remind him of his future. You are forgiven in Christ when you repent and don't forget that beloved.
• I notice that people struggling with this (including myself) tend to have a hard time seeing themselves as their own gender. For guys, it is hard to feel like a guy. If your a guy and you get tempted when another guy walks by, think to your self this - "hey that's a guy, just like me. We are not different but the same." It helped me. It also helped me when people affirmed me as a male. Find people who will do this and hang onto their every affirming word.
• You cannot force yourself to be attracted to the opposite sex.
• Avoid other homosexuals where you can. If you are strong enough to be around them, more power to you - but be careful! I notice that I am fine around other straight men but I cannot be around homosexual men for a long period of time because for some reason it makes that pain on the inside return and I get tempted. Straight men relate to me normally and I relate to them normally. However, I found myself unable to relate normally to other homosexuals - I felt like they blocked me from having a real relationship with them and they offered something else instead. This is where the temptation came in - they cut off the channel of what would have been a good relationship and dangled something else in front me (which made me more tempted to accept that rather than nothing which is wrong).
• Doing anything homosexual won't help you in the process although you'll think it might. It only helps you realize why it's wrong in the first place.
• Overcoming homosexuality is about learning the truth about yourself. For me, it is knowing that I am a man. That being a man is not defined as being physically strong, drinking beer, chasing women, or achieving something. You are a man because you are. You don't do those things to become a man. For me, being a man is generally about being a leader - taking charge and being comfortable with that. It is not about dominating out of fear and insecurity, because perfect love cast out fear. I had a hard time seeing myself as a man at first, but the more I saw myself as a man, the less I struggled with homosexuality and the more I was interested in women (without going into lust of course). Don't let women disrepect you or belittle you - you are the man, you take charge. This does not mean be overagressive, but be assertive. This may take time but I feel it's worth it. Also, they may not mean wrong, but I don't think it helped when women would saw "awwww" when I was going through something tough. I found that belittling and counterproductive. I don't know much about this myself but I would question whether, as a male struggling with homosexuality, you should have a woman "best friend" that you share all your secrets with.
• Forgive your parents if they have failed you in some way.
• Last but not least, stay on course. The persistent keep knocking, keep searching until they find the answer as Christ said in the Gospel of Matthew. Don't on focus on whether a certain ministry failed in helping that or this person overcome homosexuality. There is a way to overcome this and you won't get there by focusing on what failed. Don't be sad if your problems aren't magically gone overnight or you have a random temption. I think the important thing there is to always remember the truth and stay focused on it. You are a man and nothing is going to change that. For women, you are a woman and other women are just like you, your sisters.

I hope this helps.

 

[beautygal123]

Just a note: Being attracted to men does not specifically make you a homosexual. It's an impure thought, but certainly not much worse than lusting after a scantily clad woman. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with, and love a man?

 

[Episaw]

Anonymoos, such wisdom, such grace and such truth. The more we see society going into moral degredation, the more we see lies being extolled as the truth.

I read the other day that the battleground is truth versus lies. Political correctness forces you to believe and accept a lie and if you don't, you are considered a bigot, or in the case of homosexuality, a homophobic bigot and tolerance is a one way street.

Our fellowship specialises in ministering to those with a broken image of themselves. We don't believe that there is such a thing as a homosexual because we are all created in God's image and God is not a homosexual.

We believe that due to the broken image, homosexual BEHAVIOUR is one way that is used to compensate for the deficiencies brought about by that image.

Our policy is not to concentrate on trying to mend the broken image. We specialise in showing people who they really are in Christ and enabling then to access all that spiritual sonship provides for them. As they understand they have been believing a lie, they soon learn to believe the truth.

It is called an exchange. The old for the new. We can give mental assent to being a new creature in Christ, but many struggle with the fact that they still have a broken image that prevents them from accesing and being a new creature in Christ.

I believe the poster is struggling with this very thing.

The scripture says that it is the truth that sets you free and it does that because it brings life which means that you don't have to define yourself with a lie of satan as in "I am a homosexual" which is no more the truth than the moon is made of cheese. (Of course the homosexual movement doesn't want this to happen because their whole campaign is based on lies).

So if I were to condense this down to a single statement it would be that we are created in God's image (male and female) but due to an imperfect world and often circumstances beyond our control, we end up with a broken image of ourselves that prevents us from realising that the truth will set us free from the lie which has taken over our character and nature, and which has caused us to accept a perverted version of who we really are.

 

[Needing_Grace]

I'm a Catholic who has same-sex attractions.

Over the past two or three years I've struggled to try to change and berated myself mercilessly over it. When I was a member of another forum, I would go on and berate myself mercilessly. I can't force myself to feel attraction to any woman, whatsoever, no matter how hard I try.

But guess what?

Through the graces of Baptism, I am a son of God. How awesome is that!?

Now, I still have to deal with it. It's not easy, but our Lord gave us His thoughts on the matter: Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. (Luke 9:23)

Remember, there's no Easter without Good Friday...and we're in for a looooooooooooooooong Good Friday...fortunately, Easter will never end.

 

[ChasingTheChild]

Hey guys! I'm new to this forum, but I was just wondering how christians are supposed to deal with homosexuality?

I am a homosexual, but I don't want to be. I don't think that it's God's plan for me and I'm very depressed about it. I know that there are reform camps for this, to make you into an "ex-gay", but I've tried to follow their steps and nothing works.

Can anyone help me learn how to become attracted to the female body? I am capable of loving women (I've had several girlfriends), but I'm still attracted solely to men.

Help please!

Hello, fellow brother.

I really do feel for you. I used to be like you. Never wanting to be gay and yet still have these deep ingrained desires and ideas of what homosexuality is:

Having feelings for guys rather than girls.


Having feelings for guys doesn't mean you are truely gay, you know that?
Sometimes, I think... there maybe something you lack inside yourself... and therefore, a desire to be with a guy is kinda of comfort or excitement, whatever and however you define this desire, it's unhealthy?

I don't think God created man to fight his demons by himself.


If you really know God, I believe you will know how to pray.
And the focus of your prayers shows your understanding of God.

So, if you are wondering about why God hasn't done anything about your prayers, it really depends on your pray and how you ask it.



Let me ask you, dear Brother, how do you ask God to help you?







May in Love and kindness you receive,

Elijah

 

[NightFire411]

Contrary to popular Christian belief...NO one chooses who they are attracted to. That's as silly as saying a straight person choose to be attracted to the opposite sex.

If you really wanna change....only God can work that miracle. Talk to him and ask for His help. He will give you the strength to do whatever He calls you to do.