Holidays

[IowaPastor]

Brothers and Sisters,

I'm going through a bit of a rough patch right now...grieving the loss of my mom as well as doing some anticipatory grieving (two friends will be leaving after Easter--which will leave me more isolated and alone than ever).

Then to have the holidays coming up...I'm truly alone. I have no plans for Thanksgiving, other than to spend the day alone...that seems kind of miserable. And then there's Christmas... I'm not exactly sure what I'll be doing for that at this point.

I know the first "anything" is the most difficult.

I also know that I'll have (in the more distant future) "milestone" events (like my marriage--I'm still praying for the right guy to come along!) that will be bittersweet.

Anyway, what are the rest of you thinking and how are you preparing for these firsts? Or how have you prepared?

I've already had the first Easter, Memorial Day, mom's birthday and her brother's birthday and my birthday.

Thanks in advance!

Be Blessed...

 

[FaithfulWife]

I have a sort of freaky suggestion for you that I did my "first year." My ex left me and the kids for his mistress-at-the-time and it was devastating to me. Anyway, the very first year he planned to take the kids for a 10-day vacation to DisneyLand. No, I'm not kidding! So there I was, as poor as could be, and my ex and kids were going to be gone and having fun in "the funnest place on earth." I was beside myself with grief.

Well I decided I didn't want to spend my holidays crying all the time, so I was going to do SOMETHING. So Thanksgiving was coming up and I sat the kids down and said, "Holidays are going to be a little different this year. I'm not all that rich and I feel sad. What do you want to do if you could wave your magic wand?" We decided to volunteer at the homeless shelter on Thanksgiving Day.

NOTHING will remind you about why you're here and what you've got to live for like volunteering. I went to the homeless shelter thinking "I don't know anyone here!" but when I told the folks we were willing to work they put us right to work! My daughter the social butter greeted and seated people. My son, the strong one, carried pies back and forth...and trays of food...carrying and walking all day. I made plates of food and then walked drinks around. And you know what I learned? MY LIFE ISN'T THAT BAD. I talked to people who had no home and they had a GREAT outlook on life! They were friendly and really cared and listened like they were interested...and here I was with a home and a job and food, and I was pouting! DUH!

For Christmas Day I was alone, and I decided to literally do all the things I always wanted to do but never did. I slept in. I wore pj's all day 'til I felt like it. I took an hour-long bubble bath with candles and Frank Sinatra tunes. I got a chick flick and cried (Fried Green Tomatoes....rent it today!). I crocheted and had a whole pie for dinner. It was actually an excellent day! And when the kids came home, we ordered pizza and watched movies all day long with each other, and they LOVED it.

My point is that to get through a "first" I thought it would be a good idea to start a NEW tradition.

 

[IowaPastor]

I have a sort of freaky suggestion for you that I did my "first year." My ex left me and the kids for his mistress-at-the-time and it was devastating to me. Anyway, the very first year he planned to take the kids for a 10-day vacation to DisneyLand. No, I'm not kidding! So there I was, as poor as could be, and my ex and kids were going to be gone and having fun in "the funnest place on earth." I was beside myself with grief.

Well I decided I didn't want to spend my holidays crying all the time, so I was going to do SOMETHING. So Thanksgiving was coming up and I sat the kids down and said, "Holidays are going to be a little different this year. I'm not all that rich and I feel sad. What do you want to do if you could wave your magic wand?" We decided to volunteer at the homeless shelter on Thanksgiving Day.

NOTHING will remind you about why you're here and what you've got to live for like volunteering. I went to the homeless shelter thinking "I don't know anyone here!" but when I told the folks we were willing to work they put us right to work! My daughter the social butter greeted and seated people. My son, the strong one, carried pies back and forth...and trays of food...carrying and walking all day. I made plates of food and then walked drinks around. And you know what I learned? MY LIFE ISN'T THAT BAD. I talked to people who had no home and they had a GREAT outlook on life! They were friendly and really cared and listened like they were interested...and here I was with a home and a job and food, and I was pouting! DUH!

For Christmas Day I was alone, and I decided to literally do all the things I always wanted to do but never did. I slept in. I wore pj's all day 'til I felt like it. I took an hour-long bubble bath with candles and Frank Sinatra tunes. I got a chick flick and cried (Fried Green Tomatoes....rent it today!). I crocheted and had a whole pie for dinner. It was actually an excellent day! And when the kids came home, we ordered pizza and watched movies all day long with each other, and they LOVED it.

My point is that to get through a "first" I thought it would be a good idea to start a NEW tradition.

Thank you FaithfulWife for sharing. I did kind of think about starting a new tradition. I spent most of the day at two different friends' houses. I had coffee with one and hung out with her and her children. In addition, I had some badly needed "fur therapy"--her dog loves me. He doesn't treat anyone outside his family the way he acts around me. He's truly "adopted" me! He whined when I left!!

Then I had lunch with another friend and her family. So all in all, not a bad day at all.

Now to figure out about Christmas.

Be Blessed...

 

[NostalgicGranny]

I tried not to celebrate Thanksgiving but my hubby sort of made me.
All I really wanted to do is hide in a corner somewhere.

Holidays were special for my mom, it was always a big deal at moms house. She cooked a big meal, invited people who had no place to go and the adults played cards (uno or hearts) until the wee hours of the morning.

It is hard to believe that I made it through my first Thanksgiving without my mom there. Can we stop the calendar and skip Christmas? I doubt my family will let me, so I have set my sights on making Victory boxes for our troops. Busy work for my hands.