i wish i had a man who loves me. I know i can get a man who will love me and my kids but i dont want to leave my husband at this time. but i am just longing for some real love,some real friendship , respect, time, interest, concern, joy,kindness, more sex, laughter, smiles, positive things said, hugging, rubbing, kissing, time. oh man i am so lonely tonight. he is sleeping and just rolled over and didnt say anything. He will be nice only when he is in the mood for sex and i am tired of being the source of his release and not more that that................. sure he likes sex with me and will be nice at that time so of course i am human and enjoy sex but just wish i had more out of this marriage . i am sooooooooo board with how he is. he tells me all the time how he doesnt like to do anything. and well i am the type who likes to have friends, and like to just have fun but now i am so wore down after 20 years of this that he is making me like him. and i dont like that person i am . i want a live fulfillment. i want to feel like life is enjoyable and want to feel loved.. ok i am rambeling but i am just so lonely right now.
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holidays only make me feel sadder
- Thread starter hope4betterdays
- Start date
C
catlover
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Sorry you are going through this- I went through it for 15 years...
I finally left him and my holiday still sucked. I miss everyone who has passed away etc.
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iambren
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- Mar 2, 2008
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There is nothing like the loneliness on a marital island. I can hear your pain for it's familiar to me. You can feel lonely in singleness but at least there you have hope. I think God has built our souls such that only the intimacy of hugging two hearts will suffice.
Your husband sounds down too,depressed,empty. Antidepressants and counseling are the main things at your disposal to turn it around, rather breathe new life into a dead marriage. Pray that God would grace your life. There seems like SO many marriages suffering out there.
Your husband sounds down too,depressed,empty. Antidepressants and counseling are the main things at your disposal to turn it around, rather breathe new life into a dead marriage. Pray that God would grace your life. There seems like SO many marriages suffering out there.
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A
a*fairy*twirling*around
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oh my God! i could have written this myself!!!!!! i'm still in this lonely marriage and can't wait for the day it ends. i wish God would do something already. it's horrible to be so alone and unappreciated, and ignored all the freaking time. no companionship... no friendship. NO NOTHING.
i'm a whole lot better than this. i deserve alot more. but God hates divorce.
so i'm stuck for now. and yea. DEAD is the word here. i might as well be living with a stranger, or a brother or my father. i'd actually be happier i think, if that were the case.
to have a husband, but have no husband emotionally. didnt bargain for this. didn't know i was gonna end up with a braindead zombie.
BUT.......
i'm a very strong person. to those in this same situation. i don't let that jerk get me down, or i try not to. i have a few guy cyberfriends that are great friends. i've met them and they make me sooo happy. i love them dearly. they can't fill the void entirely, of course, but they do give me alot of joy and "warm fuzzies" so to speak.
i do what i want and don't let him bring me down. i go to a few bible studies... out with a few girlfriends... out with my son every weekend (we even went to cali together)... i do alot of things to fill the big void. what i really want too, is a guy that would love me and be a friend to me and cherish me. i can't even imagine having that. i too have been married 20 yrs. we don't talk anymore...... at all. we don't acknowlege holidays, birthdays, anniversary. nothing. nada.
my only hope is that God has Hands in this matter and when He sees fit, He will act somehow. sometimes i think even death would be better than to be so alone. but that's on a bad day. on a good day...i love myself. everyone loves and/or likes me. everyone but my husband. his "job" is to destroy all of my self confidence and bring me down whenever possible.... and he AIN'T gonna win. NOPE. he won't destroy me as a person.
i think he suffers from depression, as he has no joy in his life, and seeks none. no friends, no hobbies. nothing but work and tv. he needs the Lord badly too. gotta have pity on the guy. i even try not to be home alot cuz i cannot stand being around someone who is silent. who has NO need for meaningful conversations. whew.... thank God for msn. and that's the truth.
sex? no thanks. can't have it if your not even friends anymore.
i'm a whole lot better than this. i deserve alot more. but God hates divorce.
so i'm stuck for now. and yea. DEAD is the word here. i might as well be living with a stranger, or a brother or my father. i'd actually be happier i think, if that were the case.
to have a husband, but have no husband emotionally. didnt bargain for this. didn't know i was gonna end up with a braindead zombie.
BUT.......
i'm a very strong person. to those in this same situation. i don't let that jerk get me down, or i try not to. i have a few guy cyberfriends that are great friends. i've met them and they make me sooo happy. i love them dearly. they can't fill the void entirely, of course, but they do give me alot of joy and "warm fuzzies" so to speak.
i do what i want and don't let him bring me down. i go to a few bible studies... out with a few girlfriends... out with my son every weekend (we even went to cali together)... i do alot of things to fill the big void. what i really want too, is a guy that would love me and be a friend to me and cherish me. i can't even imagine having that. i too have been married 20 yrs. we don't talk anymore...... at all. we don't acknowlege holidays, birthdays, anniversary. nothing. nada.
my only hope is that God has Hands in this matter and when He sees fit, He will act somehow. sometimes i think even death would be better than to be so alone. but that's on a bad day. on a good day...i love myself. everyone loves and/or likes me. everyone but my husband. his "job" is to destroy all of my self confidence and bring me down whenever possible.... and he AIN'T gonna win. NOPE. he won't destroy me as a person.
i think he suffers from depression, as he has no joy in his life, and seeks none. no friends, no hobbies. nothing but work and tv. he needs the Lord badly too. gotta have pity on the guy. i even try not to be home alot cuz i cannot stand being around someone who is silent. who has NO need for meaningful conversations. whew.... thank God for msn. and that's the truth.
sex? no thanks. can't have it if your not even friends anymore.
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Its hard to be a zombie. To be a guy who gets up, gets dressed, and goes to a job where he does what he has to, to come home to a messy house, to a wife faking sleep on the couch. To know what you do is not enough to stop her snide comments about you to others. To know you work to support someone who poisons other people's opinion of you. I have been such a zombie for awhile now. Maybe I will be for while longer. Maybe not.
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