Anyone else having a hard time? I think as the holidays approach that I can just treat it as just another day. But it ain't working.
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Holiday Blues
- Thread starter pammie54
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Yes, I am ok. I just am feeling so lonely for my husband. He loved Thanksgiving and since his death I have not been able to even enjoy time with my girls.
I really prefer just to be alone. But I know that's not fair to myself or to my family. I just smile and pretend.
I really prefer just to be alone. But I know that's not fair to myself or to my family. I just smile and pretend.
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The holidays are tough. The first year after my husband passed the family got together for Thanksgiving and we all had sad faces. Last year was a little better. Sometimes I wish there were no holidays. Although I can't enjoy them like I used to, I find comfort being with the family. January is my wedding anniversary month so I'll be struggling for the next few months. Christmas was our favorite holiday. I still don't have the desire to decorate and I don't plan on having a Christmas tree.
Still one day at a time.
Still one day at a time.
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My husband died in January 2006. This is my second year without him for the holidays & I find it very difficult. Most of the time I find myself wishing the holidays were over. Does anyone else feel this way?
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I know we have to go on & try to live our life to the fullest. Most of the time I try to do that but special occasions & holidays always throw me off.
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You are right blueguy, being with family helps a great deal during the holidays. I do plan to be with mine.
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memoriesbymichelle
Senior Veteran
My family (well really it's my husband's family) is so whacked out, and there are all kinds of issues. I spent Thanksgiving with just me and my two kids. I loved it, but it was kinda lonely. Christmas will be the same way. I just don't feel like dealing with the drama of the family. I don't really feel like decorating either, but I have to for my kids.
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Well here it is just a few days before Christmas & its so hard. I am going through the motions but my heart is not in it. I wish I could wake up tomorrow & it would be over. Next is new years & I met my husband on New Years eve many years ago. Another hurdle to get through another new years without him.
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As my grief counselor has put it, "there are no rules". So, if one day you want to wear your ring, wear it. If the next day you don't want to wear it, then don't. I have alternated back and forth, but I have not worn my rings for about 2 months this time. This is the longest I have gone without wearing it. I do wear Terry's ring on my right hand and I will probably continue to do so.
And don't let anyone tell you want to do!!
And don't let anyone tell you want to do!!
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comewhatmay
Member
Happy New Year everyone! The holidays came and went without much fanfare for me and the kids. It's the second Christmas without Raymond around. The first Christmas without him, my family came over to my place for a cosy Christmas. Funnily, this year it came and went like any other day except with Christmas service in church. I would say it was worse than the first year. Maybe i couldn't bring myself to enjoy or celebrate it, not even for the kids. But Christmas isn't just about the kind of celebration the commercial world has made it to be right? This year i saw it as it is...the day Christ came into the world for us...and that is a very sobering thought...all these years Christmas has been so much about ourselves till so much of the real meaning got lost with it. But deep down inside i couldn't see any reason to celebrate like others. Maybe it's just this year and i do hope i wouldn't feel like these in the years to come. It would be so unfair for my girls.
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I was surprised that Christmas went so well. I also found myself concentrating on Christ's birth, more so than in the past. New Year's Eve took me by surprise, though. We never really did anything on New Year's Eve. We were always content to just stay home and watch the ball drop on TV. So, last night took me by surprise that I had a melt down. Just when I think I'm back on my feet, I find myself back down on the floor. Two steps forward, one step back, right?
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