His Family

[InHisCare]

I have been a widow for over a year and there is one area that I seem to be clueless on what to do. My husbands family (mostly non-believers) have almost completely abandoned me and my children. There were no hard feelings that I knew of before my husband died. We would visit often and always spend at least part of the holidays with his parents and siblings. I feel since he is gone they seem to have disowned us. I have tried to reach out to them but the only contact we have is initiated by me. They live very close to us and have only visted once since my husband died. My childrens birthdays have come and gone without even a phone call. Do cut my losses and stop contacting them? Do I try to find out why they have acted this way? Any suggestions would be helpful.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Although I have had support from my husband's family, they haven't really visited my house since he died. Some of them say (to others not to me) that it's too hard for them to come to our house, it reminds them too much of him and how he isn't here anymore. He also died here in the house. But I say "what about us? we are still here, living here everyday and we don't feel bad". Everyone is different, so it's really hard to tell, or generalize, but it could be that you and the kids would be a reminder that HE isn't here anymore and they can't deal with that. They also may not realize that you need their support. If I were you, I would try to talk to them and tell them what you are feeling and see what their response is, then....if it is not what you expected, then you can cut your losses. They may have an explanation that you could understand, I don't know.
God Bless you!

 

[pammie54]

Yes. Everyone does grieve differently but I feel like the family members who don't want to come to our home aren't greiving, instead postponing it. It is painful because we need those people because they are our link to our beloved one.

 

[blueguy]

I have been a widow for over a year and there is one area that I seem to be clueless on what to do. My husbands family (mostly non-believers) have almost completely abandoned me and my children. There were no hard feelings that I knew of before my husband died. We would visit often and always spend at least part of the holidays with his parents and siblings. I feel since he is gone they seem to have disowned us. I have tried to reach out to them but the only contact we have is initiated by me. They live very close to us and have only visted once since my husband died. My childrens birthdays have come and gone without even a phone call. Do cut my losses and stop contacting them? Do I try to find out why they have acted this way? Any suggestions would be helpful.

Well.......... It's your call. but I recommend that you keep close contact. Maybe a quick little call to say Hi.