Hi

This is really, really amazing. I cannot believe how much interest you guys are showing, thank you. Thank you ever so much. If the world was made of the few people like you, this place would be a lot more comparable to heaven.

Thanks for all your replies, I do not have much time to keep up with them because I'm working hard to support my family. Our merciful Lord, Jesus Christ has been so loving and kind towards me. When I come from work I do not feel pain or hunger, but I feel joy and comfort in the depths of my heart. When I eat I feel light, that I fast. If I suffer, I do not get mad at God and question him, but I realize that what I'm going through is not comparable to the burden Jesus Christ himself took on himself in order to forgive our sins, because he suffered for us; suffered out of love. Therefore I understand him better and get ever so close with him that I almost wish I could suffer more... When I learn about philosophy and science at school, I do not drift away from my religion, the bonds get ever so strong, and my desire to learn increases.

Today I was about to get a shot (needle from the doctor on demand of the school) and I was hoping that the small medical clinic would have it, or else they would suspend me from school because today was the last day to submit the form that proves that I had the needles, I remember praying as I walked: "Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner, a wretched, unworthy sinner." I wished in order to get the shot without getting involved with paperwork-marathon. It was easy and without hassle. I promised that I would do my best to uphold my fast and try hardest not to sin. When I got home I quickly gave into temptation, I do not know why. I learned a valuable lesson. I cannot fight Satan without God's help, I cannot do it without prayer, without bowing my head down in helplessness, because I am not strong enough to defeat Satan. I asked for help from my Merciful Lord Jesus Christ, and I was provided with the strength and courage to resist temptation and go to work without proper rest. Tears almost came into my eyes, thinking: How unworthy am I of such mercy, yet I am granted this great loving and comfort. From this day forward I realized that I should be a better Christian, and see myself as unworthy and defenseless, therefore that I will allow God to enter my heart and defend it from evil. Now that I read your replies and support, I know I am not alone, and I know I will fast whenever I must and resist temptation to my fullest ability.

Thank you for your support.

It is unbelievable to see that there are brilliant, loving and caring people like you are out there.

P.S. Thank you for your offer of hospitality, if in the next few years I am ever to come to Greece and visit Mt. Athos, the very place that St. Mary set foot upon, I'll definitely visit.

I take my leave.

Thanks once more.

Take care everyone.

Christ be with you all.

Thanks, Elizabeth. I know it's somewhat okay to break a fast if you need it, but my problem was with breaking a promise. Anyways, I hope I am forgiven...

It's Saint Basil... I wasted 400 blessings trying to get it right... I am not even computer illiterate... but I couldn't make it work. :-(

By the way, Hello! NewToLife... if you have any questions please feel free to post them and you'll get a variety of answers and different opinions from different people. We're all friendly and overall warm people here, so don't forget to be open with your questions and provide detail so that we can provide you with coherent answers.

Take care all,

Christ be with you.

Thank you for your offer. I do work now, so I can possibly afford them. That is not the issue. I would love to have paper icons, but it will not work because I am not in charge of the mail. However!

My mom will be out of the country starting March the 31st OR May the first. You can send me icons then. If it is a bit of a struggle for you to send them or find them; just try to find the Virgin Mary and our Lord Jesus Christ. Anything else you can find or get for me would be delightful. Let us keep in touch and you can send them to me when the time is right.

My mom does open my mails unfortunately because she's become anxious to end my interest in Orthodoxy.

May I ask you... if one has sinned and does not feel that he is worthy of forgiveness, and is afraid to pray because he feels disgusted with him/herself, what does he/she do? How does he/she start praying again?

P.S. Are you fasting?

I hope not...

Thank you so much Elizabeth. I have read the Teachings of the Desert and Holy Fathers on the prayer of the interior. When you mentioned breath; you were right. The Fathers urge you to take the prayer in with your breath, and hold it there, let it dwell in your heart, so that the good name of our Sweetest Lord Jesus Christ may dwell in your heart and fight off temptations. His name is your sword. How merciful and sweet is he to defend us against Satan. Thank you for your enlightenment. What you said about Satan trying to make you hate yourself is true, as it is the same as what Andreas told me. I will try hard to recite the Jesus Prayer so that he may dwell in the depths of my heart and banish Satan.

If you have not read The Way of a Pilgrim and The Pilgrim Continues His Way (two books in one) please do read it. It is about a Russian Pilgrim in 19th century Russia in search of the prayer of the interior. It is a book that will change your life forever.

Christ be with you.