Hi. My Name is......

Hi, I'm Leana Jo H. and I'm a binge drinking alcoholic. Been sober since March 30, 2011. I go to A.A. meetings 4 times a week and it really helps me. And I've gone back to church lately too. Praise to God....

LeanaJo said:

Hi, I'm Leana Jo H. and I'm a binge drinking alcoholic. Been sober since March 30, 2011. I go to A.A. meetings 4 times a week and it really helps me. And I've gone back to church lately too. Praise to God....

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Praise the Lord! Did you get a sponsor yet, and start your stepwork?

justanobserver said:

been doin ok. forgot how strong the urge/desire to drink can be for folks like us.

one moment and one step at a time.

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Hi Norm,

The only way I could stop smoking was by simply saying to myself, "Not just now. I'll have it in a few minutes time." And then I'd say the same thing again. The relief I felt was palpable, because I really meant it, each time I said it, but I found it surprisingly easy that way." It had already struck me that, far from being soothing, smoking made me more nervous, as I anticpated my next one!

I did relapse once, but that was just stupidity, rather than an overpowering urge. However, after stopping a second time, I never looked back. In fact, before long the smell of smoke disgusted me. But of course, addictions are bound to have different features.

I suppose I still haven't given it up "officially", just forgotten to keep wanting a smoke and saying the "magic words". But there is a definite crossover between the self-denial and character, needed in order for an alcoholic person to give up alcohol and the spiritual life of the Christian. "One day at a time" is something for us all to live by, addicted or not. Living in the present.

Here is, I think, the first post, on page 3, that I sent to the addiction/recovery thread on an American board called Democratic Underground. The board has a lot of good stuff, but has too many militant atheists on it, and is too indulgent towards them at reason's expense. Some of them in this thread get very worked up about reference to a Higher Power!

Anyway, here is the thread:

Democratic Underground - Addiction/Recovery Group

My last post is on page 2 under the u/n "Joe Chi Minh". (Before that it was KCabotDullesM... [KCabotDullesMarxIII, in full....!], just on pages 2 and 3, I think.)

"I believe that if someone has a positive outlook - even with low self-esteem - "One day at a time" can be made to work.

As regards the psychology of abstinence in a reformed alcoholic, it's rather like a religous conversion, in that it should inspire the person concerned with real confidence that it can be done by he or she personally, indeed has already begun, provided only one thing: they must be prepared to humbly accept suffering.

He or she needs to accept whatever kind of mood, state of mind, stresses, whatever, which will repeatedly but eventually decreasingly prompt that person to find solace in another drink - and repeatedly reject it. He or she should regard it as a plus that they are not required to "do" something - but, rather, "not do" it. That kind of passive strength - the only real, lasting strength, if the truth be known, is normally a more marked characteristic of women.

I noticed with regard to someone close to me that in the early days, before she was able to break free, there were always people on hand, most notably some family members, who, even though disparaging her to others, or personally disparaging her (when she was actually "in her cups") would encourage her to drink! I believe you call them "co-alcoholics".

To my mind to say that that is beneath contempt is an understatement, but the person must bear in mind that, with God's help, they have the strength to resist it, when possible, even to avoid their company.

Self-pity, though a particularly common feature among the young, is the other face of the coin. You cannot afford to succumb to it. Hence the need for acceptance of suffering. It never lasts for ever, there is always light and shade, and you have to just let the depression roll over you, in the certain knowledge that tomorrow is another day, even another life. None of us can be certain of what it holds for us.

Like every aspect of virtue, it is not a matter of making a single decision (though that first decision may define the rest of your life from that very instant) but repeated decisions, and the faculty of living in the present, so that you don't feel wearied by repetition of the decision. It's going to get easier and easier with practice over time, and love in your heart for the person or people who want to support you.

I found this beautiful anecdote of how a combination of hope and a spirit of sacrifice (preparedness to suffer innocently) transformed Solzhenitsin's life, when he was working in a desperate prison camp in Siberia in political thread on DU, a lttle earlier today:

"Along with other prisoners, he worked in the fields day after day, in rain and sun, during summer and winter. His life appeared to be nothing more than backbreaking labor and slow starvation. The intense suffering reduced him to a state of despair.

On one particular day, the hopelessness of his situation became too much for him. He saw no reason to continue his struggle, no reason to keep on living. His life made no difference in the world. So he gave up.

Leaving his shovel on the ground, he slowly walked to a crude bench and sat down. He knew that at any moment a guard would order him to stand up, and when he failed to respond, the guard would beat him to death, probably with his own shovel. He had seen it happen to other prisoners.

As he waited, head down, he felt a presence. Slowly he looked up and saw a skinny old prisoner squat down beside him. The man said nothing. Instead, he used a stick to trace in the dirt the sign of the Cross. The man then got back up and returned to his work.

As Solzhenitsyn stared at the Cross drawn in the dirt his entire perspective changed. He knew he was only one man against the all-powerful Soviet empire. Yet he knew there was something greater than the evil he saw in the prison camp, something greater than the Soviet Union. He knew that hope for all people was represented by that simple Cross. Through the power of the Cross, anything was possible.

Solzhenitsyn slowly rose to his feet, picked up his shovel, and went back to work. Outwardly, nothing had changed. Inside, he had received hope."

An 18th centrury, French, Jesuit, spiritual writer called Pierre De Caussade wrote a book called The Sacrament of the Present Moment. In it, he says that it is better to pick up a piece of scrap paper and put it in the waste-paper basket, if that is God would wants of you at that moment, than give your body to be burnt at the stake, if its not what he would want of you then. The whole day is made holy, as we bring order out of chaos, acting appropriately in the small things that make up our day, as well as any larger ones. The Hours, the Psalms they prayed in the Gospels, can further sanctify our day. The Catholic Church calls it The Prayer of the Church", now, though I believe it was known as the Breviary.

Hi, I'm Teemu and I'm an alcoholic among other bad things.

12 hours since my last drink. Thinking of starting antabus (don't know what it's called outside of Europe) again. Depression and emotional storms didn't get any better, I'm surprised it still doesn't work!

Anyway, trying again not to drink again. The best I managed was 1,5 years without alcohol but that's awhile ago now. I can't afford to drink anymore, no idea what I might do to myself.

Hoping strength to everyone here.

Tempura said:

Hi, I'm Teemu and I'm an alcoholic among other bad things.

12 hours since my last drink. Thinking of starting antabus (don't know what it's called outside of Europe) again. Depression and emotional storms didn't get any better, I'm surprised it still doesn't work!

Anyway, trying again not to drink again. The best I managed was 1,5 years without alcohol but that's awhile ago now. I can't afford to drink anymore, no idea what I might do to myself.

Hoping strength to everyone here.

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Have you tried Alcoholics Anonymous? It is working for me. www.aa.org

Trish

madison, yes I have been to the meetings. Not for awhille though, it's so hard to get out of my apartment that I'm lucky if I make it to the store somedays.

Tempura said:

madison, yes I have been to the meetings. Not for awhille though, it's so hard to get out of my apartment that I'm lucky if I make it to the store somedays.

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If you can get out of the apartment to purchase your alcohol, then you can get out to go to an AA meeting. What is your priority? Sobriety, or drinking?

Trish

madison1101 said:

If you can get out of the apartment to purchase your alcohol, then you can get out to go to an AA meeting. What is your priority? Sobriety, or drinking?

Trish

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I said the store (100 meters) is the only place I have managed to go. After those short trips I sometimes vomit from the anxiety. I have nothing against AA, but AA is not my priority. Drinking is not my priority either. Have been sober now after I wrote the first message. Now, my priority is to manage to get my doctor's appointment and to get there somehow. I can't get anything done and I need other help now than just AA meetings. This is not an excuse, this is the situation I'm in.

I've been to AA meetings a lot in the past. I have nothing against it. I am not in the condition to attend any meetings. I have met many people from the meetings I attended to, and some of them were pretty attacking in nature, fanatics. They almost scared me out of the whole AA thing, but I managed to get to know some of those calmer ones, who don't shout their statements and mantras aloud before thinking what the other one had to say. I hope you are not one of those people. Don't be offended, I'm just frustrated now. There are so many things wrong right now and I can't tell you my life story. Again, I am not against AA.

Perhaps these alcohol abuse forums are not for me. I just tried to say something, that I'm trying not to drink now. I have the AA books, I know the steps, I'm not against AA. Forgive me for not being in meetings now. Not trying to be offensive, I just feel like ****.

Tempura said:

I said the store (100 meters) is the only place I have managed to go. After those short trips I sometimes vomit from the anxiety. I have nothing against AA, but AA is not my priority. Drinking is not my priority either. Have been sober now after I wrote the first message. Now, my priority is to manage to get my doctor's appointment and to get there somehow. I can't get anything done and I need other help now than just AA meetings. This is not an excuse, this is the situation I'm in.

I've been to AA meetings a lot in the past. I have nothing against it. I am not in the condition to attend any meetings. I have met many people from the meetings I attended to, and some of them were pretty attacking in nature, fanatics. They almost scared me out of the whole AA thing, but I managed to get to know some of those calmer ones, who don't shout their statements and mantras aloud before thinking what the other one had to say. I hope you are not one of those people. Don't be offended, I'm just frustrated now. There are so many things wrong right now and I can't tell you my life story. Again, I am not against AA.

Perhaps these alcohol abuse forums are not for me. I just tried to say something, that I'm trying not to drink now. I have the AA books, I know the steps, I'm not against AA. Forgive me for not being in meetings now. Not trying to be offensive, I just feel like ****.

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If anxiety is preventing you from getting to meetings, then try reading the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book, the first 164 pages, and really ask God to show you how to stay sober using the program. The program is the 12 Steps.

I'm sorry I came across as harsh. I see so many people give up on AA, and then struggle to stop drinking.

I have been studying the Life Recovery Bible, and learning how much scripture is supporting the 12 Steps of AA.

Sorry again.

Trish

No harm done, thanks for understanding.

Hello. I'm Joe, an Alcoholic. Haven't been on these forums in ages I guess. After 18 years of sobriety, I managed to go back out and try things for a third time. Yep; I'm still an alcoholic. Coming up on the one year mark again.

HUBIE said:

Hello. I'm Joe, an Alcoholic. Haven't been on these forums in ages I guess. After 18 years of sobriety, I managed to go back out and try things for a third time. Yep; I'm still an alcoholic. Coming up on the one year mark again.

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Do you participate in Alcoholics Anonymous? Is that one year of sobriety that you are talking about when you say you are coming up on the one year mark? If so, that is awesome.

Trish

Madison1101,

Yes I am a member of the "Club" AA. Trying to work the program the way it's suggested this time around. And I am coming up on my one year anniversary in the program. Working the steps. Looking to see if there are any step threads on this forum. Been away for quite a while, the FORUM has changed greatly in the last three years or so.

~ Joe

HUBIE said:

Madison1101,

Yes I am a member of the "Club" AA. Trying to work the program the way it's suggested this time around. And I am coming up on my one year anniversary in the program. Working the steps. Looking to see if there are any step threads on this forum. Been away for quite a while, the FORUM has changed greatly in the last three years or so.

~ Joe

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http://www.christianforums.com/f702/

That is the link for the 12 Step forum. It is a slow forum, but I would like to see it get more active. It is for all 12 Step recovery, not just alcohol.

Welcome back to AA, sobriety, and the Christian Forums. I did a two year relapse, still going to AA, while I was in Outpatient Rehab three times a week. It was ugly. I learned that this disease is progressive, and I ended up in the psych ward for a week, and then an inpatient rehab, after 21 years in AA. Humiliating. I learned so much about myself while inpatient. Most importantly, I learned to be honest, open-minded, and willing to learn.

I am glad you are here, and that you made it back. Many people do not.

Trish

madison1101 said:

I am glad you are here, and that you made it back. Many people do not.

Trish

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Thanks Trish. Good to be sober again. It ain't easy that's for sure. Gonna ask God about this one day. Not really sure why some of us are this way. If I could see some benefit to it; then maybe it would make more sense. I know God will work all things to his Glory, but right now I just don't understand. I'm okay with that.

Joe

Here's to all of you, may you continue in your journeys of sobriety.

Still in my thoughts and hopes.

Thinking of you, Norm, it's been about 4 years since you've been around and I keep you in my prayers. Please know that you have friends here who love you and hope that you're okay.

Heya Norm. Long time. Been away from CF myself for quite a spell though kept up with my AA. Hope all is well for you.