hi i am back

[dantrong]

Have not been on this forum for a while. Alot of you know that i went to a healing conference 2 months ago. No i did not get healed. My leaders say it could be lack of faith.

My opinion is having a healing conference can be a dangerous thing. I honestly will not go to another healing service again. I still do go to chruch once in a while just to feel some peace. But i am unwilling to fully committ to God. I hate it when people say give all your problems to God.

To overcome my OCD that is a stupid comment from my Christian friends. Like i said i do go to church once in a while, but you cannot classify as a real christian. I still drink heavily, because ocd stresses me out, i get with alot girls in the clubs.

I have a girlfriend who goes to another church and she is in the ministry. She does not know i do all these things.

I hate myself and life so much, i don't care what i do anymore. Yes my ocd has won and i accept it. I have only started to sleep around in the last 5 weeks. Don't worry i always use protection.

 

[StephenDM]

If you have friends that tell you to just "overcome" your OCD then they are not real friends and they are not giving Christian advice.

"to the one in despair, kindness should come from his friend even if he forsakes the fear of the Almighty"
- Job 6:14

God seems to validate this statement by Job at the end of the book (Job 42:7).

"Give all your problems to God" is an expression used in a trite manner by Christians who are just plain ignorant. It seems to trivialize any logistical difficulties someone might experience in actually transferring the problems. Someone with OCD and scrupulosity needs to strive for a more comprehensive understanding of detailed Biblical theology to find relief (at least that is the case for me).

I often feel like giving up as well. I already do not care about my life. When my OCD makes me worry about germs and contamination, I wash my hands and clothes constantly mainly becasue I feel guilty about transferring some posion to other people. I really do not care about my own life.

Despite trying, I have never been able to get a girlfriend. Right now I have no job. I cannot work because of my illness. Pretty much all the dreams I had for my life growing up are now shot.

I have not given up entirely, however, because I am still alive. I believe I might have told God a while back that as long as I'm alive, despite what I think or feel, I want Him to consider me as still hanging on. I think God knows that just living is challenge enough for me.

I don't believe you have given up entirely either since you posted in this forum.

I'll pray for you

 

[BeccaLynn]

I understand about feeling like giving up. I also understand how you feel about being prayed for, seeing others delivered of things, yet you yourself seemingly not changed . . . struggling with how do I "let go and let God" or "Hang on!", and which do I do? Do I "hang on" or do I "let go"? I have felt so many times like giving up and just not trying anymore. But something deep within me knows without a doubt that my only hope is Jesus. Maybe I will never feel as others do, but that does not change the fact that Jesus died for me and you and that He's just as real for those of us who've never experienced Him as others may speak of as He is for them. I think maybe you know this too since you still go to church every now and again and are on this sight telling us a little about yourself. Someone on this sight has said it well - "If it were us holding on to God, we'd be in trouble. But, He is holding onto us." Obviously your recent behaviors are bothering you, which is also a good sign that you do care. Somehow is our minds we think, "what's the use?". But we want answers. We don't want to be like this. This sight is a good place to come and see that others who have OCD struggle greatly as well. But we do have hope. You have hope. God does not abandon us, regardless of how we FEEL. At one point in my life, I allowed the guilt and feelings of hopelessness lead me into some self-destructive behaviors as well. Please know that God loves you so much. That you suffer like this doesn't change that fact. Also, please seek out a counselor who is qualified to deal with and treat OCD. The enemy of our souls wants us to feel alone and keep us from opening up to others for fear they may think we're crazy or rebuke us for our lack of faith. But, God has called many into the counseling field to help people like us. We do have to be careful who we open up to, but it is surprising that many more suffer like this than we realize and just an understanding person can spark a hope that we felt had been extinguished. I will pray for you.

Rebecca

 

[Liftyourhand7]

AMEN Rebecca, Good advice for all of us. Hey danstrong, we are glad that you are back, remember my friend we love you and we struggle like you do, I too know what you mean when you say you just want to give up, but believe me when I say, Don't do it! I am a grandma in my 50's so I feel like I have a little wisdom in this area. I have struggled and fought OCD for over 20 years, to perservere is not easy and healing for most of us does not come in the snap of a finger or in a healing conference, especially with this mental disorder,because it is not a spiritual problem that you are dealing with. Again it is a mental disorder, and there is help for it, God has not let you down and has not left you I don't think you can see that right now, but it does not change the truth of the matter. And yes Christians can say stupid things but that does not mean they don't love and care for you its just out of ignorance,they truly cannot understand what you and I and those with OCD go through or they would not say the things they do. And if I might in love say one more thing, what gives you the right to hate yourself when God loves you so much, you sound like you are trying to self destruct. Please Don't give up on God HE has not given up on you and never will. danstrong believe me when I say I'm not judging you believe me I've done enough in my own life to try to destroy myself, You are on this forum for a reason, let God minister to you, don't get offended and please please Don't give up on God, He has seen me through when I thought he didn't even care, I really thought he did not care for me and had left me, I chose to believe that lie at one time in my life. Ok so I'm not 100% because I have OCD but I have not met one person in this life that doesn't have something wrong with them. Press on my brother Keep going to chruch and reading God's word even when you don't feel like it. I really do love and care for you and will be praying for you, I hope you don't think I am being to hard on you, I prayed before I posted this to you. BLessings Jan

 

[scraparcs]

Today, right now. Are you willing to win over the OCD?

I know it's not forever, but at least winning longer and longer helps something.